Unca Cheeks the Toy Wonder's Silver Age Comics Web Site!
ATE MY
BRAIN!
(...
or: "Why Unca Cheeks Is Going On Vacation.
Just For a Little While. Honest.")
THE CHEEKS THE TOY WONDER HOME PAGE -- "Your One-Stop Shopping Center For Comics Sanity," and mine own personal Silver Age shrine -- is (as of this writing) just a few scant weeks shy of celebrating its one-year anniversary.
There will now be a brief pause,
while everyone reading these words lets out with the obligatory "huzzah" or
three. 
In the course of said year: I have -- all by my lonesome; with nothing more than this dopey "Netscape Composer For Dummies" booklet-and-
CD Rom as my stone and chisel -- crafted no fewer than one hundred and thirty-five separate "pages" concerning those dear, distant days when comic books traded in such simple, homespun fare as coherent plotlines; plausible characterizations; and a cheery, welcome disdain for the anal retentive fanboy dictates of "continuity."
Every single word was composed,
typed and uploaded by moi. Every cover scan and page reproduction
-- over twelve hundred of 'em (!!) -- was plastered up here for the enlightenment
and edification of all, courtesy of This Old Fart's lunatic notion that, py
yimminy, there bloody well ought to be some reasonably coherent and (semi-)exhaustive
web site dedicated to the memory and promotion of the medium's true "golden
era"... which there jolly well wasn't, when I first set my jaw to the
completion of said task, thankyouverymuch.
Each and every week, without fail -- fifty of 'em, to beprecise -- I made certain that there was something new and exciting (or -- failing that -- funny, at least) to make it worthwhile for folks to wander over here, every seven days.
If I've achieved even the smallest measure of this, in so doing -- if I've turned even one luckleess, born-too-late visitor hereabouts onto the various glories and treasures of an earlier age; caused even one "all-history-is-bunk" fanboy to reconsider his pigeon-toed rhetorical stance; or brought the flicker of a smile to some fellow geezer (or geezerette) with a shared observation or reminiscence -- then the time and the endless drudgery have all been well worthwhile... and then some.
Judging by the constant barge-lots
of e-mail I've received from The Good Lord only knows how many of you,
over the past year or so -- some of you friends; a good many more of you complete
and total strangers to me, at the time -- I feel confident that I've
managed to do maybe just that much, if nothing else.
However: as I've stated before, both here and elsewhere... Your Kindly Old Unca Cheeks is...
... well... is a not-inconsiderable chronological shotput away from being a young feller, to be brutally frank about it.
... and -- contrary to the online
scuttlebutt, hereabouts -- I ain't a-gittin' any damned younger, neither.
For some time now, the rigors inherent in cobbling up brand, spanking new pages for all and sundry to goggle at, week in and week out, have been threatening to exacerbate some long-term health problems I've been dealing with, these past few years. And while said "problems" (he hastened to assure the more fearful among the assembled) are, by and large, readily surmountable ones, given a sufficiency of both medication(s) and ample personal "down time"... the latter of these is proving (temporarily) incompatible with the dictates of adhering to a "regular" schedule, re: the weekly composition of new pages for this site.
These physical plaints nearly occasioned a sudden and prolonged dirt nap for Unca Cheeks, a few years back, gang.
I bloody well take these things a whole hell of a lotmore seriously than I ever used to, believe me.
Therefore: as of this writing (8/3/98)... I'm going on a six- to eight-week hiatus.
I'll still be within quick'n'easy
reach, via both the avenues of standard e-mail ([email protected]) and
the message board areas where I can generally be found, snipping and sniping
about Why Rob Liefeld Really, Truly Needs To Be Savaged By Blood-Crazed
Mastiffs, and whatnot. (The rac.dcu boards are generally a good
bet, for those bereft of AOL capabilities; otherwise, try the Stuffed Cheeks
message board, under the "General Comics" subsection in the trackless wilds
of the AOL territories. Visitors always welcome. Bring munchies.)
Too: I plan on spending
a little more time helping my good buddy Phil with his exciting, waycool online
"shared universe" fanfic project, which you can all sneak a quick peek at by
be-bopping over to DCU: 2021. (No actual stories available for public viewing,
as of this writing... but: that will change. That will change.)
Look for my byline in conjunction with upcoming tales of the Black Orchid;
Dial "H" for Hero; Doom Patrol; and (believe it or don't) Ultra,
the Multi-Alien series' therein.
To underscore the point, one more once: this site will remain precisely As Is, during my little Sabbatical. And new entries will resume once more, upon the completion of same.
Period. End of sentence.
End of paragraph.
I'd like to take this opportunity to extend especial "thank you"s to a select handful of good friends, in particular, for all the help and support they've extended to this cranky, curmudgeonly li'l plush toy over the past year, re: this site:
-- first and foremost, to Quentin
Long: the resident Boy Genius of the cyberworld, who patiently put
up with God only knows how many boneheaded questions on my part (true
example: "What's the difference between 'uploading' and 'downloading'...?")
during this site's seemingly eternal Under Construction period... and never
once responded with anything even remotely along the lines of: "... christ, but you're a friggin' nitwit."
-- to Joanna Sandsmark: one of the very first people to goout
of her long-suffering way to make me feel welcome when I initially ventured
my cyber-virginal way online nearly (dear god) four years ago; the reigning
repository of knowledge, re: All Things Pertaining To DC's WONDER WOMAN;
and the all-time, hands down, no contest sweetest person I've yet to
meet via this medium of exchange.
-- to Pat N. (a.k.a.
"The Rocketeer"): who has tolerated far more online flare-ups and fits
of High Dudgeon on my part than could charitably be expected of even the closest
of blood kin... and has never, ever once thrown his hands up in resignation
and disgust. At least, not while I was looking.
-- to Michael Hutchison: who spent the longest two weeks of his
life, I assure you, attempting to find a means simple enough by which
I could add a simple bloody logo to this site. You should only
go visit his magnificent FANZING
site, in turn, and tell him what a saint he is.
-- to Tony Isabella: whose
repeated mentions of this site in his daily Tony's Online Tips online
column were the word-of-mouth equivalent of solid gold.
-- to John
Davoll (alias "The Padre"): my online spiritual mentor and guru.
You all only think I'm a rude, high-hatted and arrogant s.o.b.
Minus this man's tireless (and thankless) online shepherding... I'd really
be an online figure of terror.
-- to E. J. Saul: who knows how to kill a man using nothing more
than a common, household garbage bag "twistie"... and the only comics fan online
even more withered and decrepit than myself.
-- to Kerry Aldrich;
Bill Brackeen; Ken Cox; J. Kevin Carrier; Joe Linehan: that hard-bitten, two-fisted, whiskey guzzlin' quintet of fellow Silver Age
enthusiasts on whose manly, dimpled shoulders I've leaned on for muy mucho
encouragement and support, throughout this endeavor.
-- to Mike and Steve: the Terror Twins of AOL's DC ComicsOnline
environs. Without these two verbal knife-fighters watching my plush li'l backside...
I'd have stomped off in unbridled disgust years ago. Hey, guys: what's fat; cranky; and harbors unhealthy, quasi-sexual obsessions over imaginary
comics characters...?
-- to Allen M. Steele: alias "Kid Hugo." Alias "Famous the Author."
If any of you have ever found even the slightest scintilla of merit in anything
I've ever written... this is one of the two men to thank. He nagged me
more mercilessly (since grade school, mind) to stay hunkered in front
of more typewriters and word processors than any hundred editors.
-- to Kenneth
Wayne Jobe: the best writing partner a man could ever wish for...
bar none. One word of praise from him, and you know you've managed
to find all the right words, for once.
-- to Torian Stephen Hughes: the only man on the face of the planet who can
make me laugh, no matter how low or dismal I'm feeling. Makes the
late Bill Hicks look like a piker.
-- to my Wife Beautiful, Lisa
Ann Orlando: who understood how all-important it was to her crazed
hubby to neglect several hundred other, more important things -- each
and every weekend -- in order to proselytize to the online faithful just a little
bit more. I married well above my station in life, folks. No lie.
-- and, finally: to my
sainted daughter, Meggan Kristen Orlando. Who knows that all the
very best comic books were all published well before 1980. And
her only eight years old, no less. It's darned comforting to know
that the flaming torch of truth has already been passed along to such capable
(if tiny) hands.
Okay, people: we'll be picking right up where we left off, approximately
two months from now (give or take). You got any ideas as to what the first
new Silver Age entries should be forTHE
CHEEKS THE TOY WONDER HOME PAGE, Mark II: get 'em in to me before then.
I'll be running a tally.
Any of you run into one of those
modern-day "these are the glory years" pinheads out there, online...
and the little twerp seems reasonably educable: steer him this way.
They're never too old to learn the truth of the matter, after all.
You've been an unalloyed pleasure for this old duffer to natter and pontificate with, every weekend; each and every last one of you.
... and, remember: so long as even one of us remembers how bloody marvelous this medium used to be, back in the day...
... the Silver Age of Comics can never, ever die.
I'm just sayin', is all.
"Why the Slow,Agonizing Death of the Comics Industry Is (Mostly) All Your Fault"
(PAGE ONE)"Why
the Slow,Agonizing Death of the Comics Industry Is (Mostly) All Your Fault"
(PAGE TWO)
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