Unca Cheeks the Toy Wonder's Silver Age Comics Web Site!
CHEEKS'CHOICE: "IF I RAN THE DEFENDERS..."
(PART TWO)
It's all downhill from here, for all of you rock-jawed DEFENDERS traditionalists.
Taking a page from the textbook of eminent DEFENDERS scripter maximus Steve Gerber...
... I'm aiming the prow of this particular conversational
craft straightaway towards the far shores of Mondo Bizarro. 
5.) GAMBIT -- Just as I did for my projected
AVENGERS "dream team": I'm poaching freely from the four-color game
preserve of Marvel Comics' mutant titles -- a meta-fictive "happy hunting
grounds" wherein untold scores of perfectly good comics characters roam
and graze; unmolested by the touch of anything even remotely resembling
a real, live writer.
The sly, smooth-talking Cajun mutant known as Gambit is the sort of character who -- quite frankly -- simply doesn't seem to fit in with the overall tone and tenor of Marvel's "X" titles; even given how wildly and demonstrably astray they've wandered from their initial baseline premise over the past few decades, post- Claremont.
In a relentlessly same-seeming assortment of interconnected
titles given over to fustian super-heroics and by-the-numbers bombast, the charismatic,
trenchcoated ex-sneak thief with the explosive touch stands out, quite simply,
like a ninja amongst TeleTubbies.
He has far, far more in common with the emotional tics and tendencies of (say) a Nighthawk, or a Luke Cage, than he could ever possibly have with a Cyclops, or a Cannonball.
Sign 'im up.
WHAT HE BRINGS TO THE PARTY: the under-the-counter, by-any-
means-necessary sort of attitude which has always summed up Marvel's
"non-team," in its best and most memorable moments; an appealing visual and
a waycool super-power; natural conflict with the straighter- laced (well...
by comparison, at any rate) Luke Cage; and (God willing) a significant
portion of curious "X" fans.
6.) MOON KNIGHT -- ... and, speaking
of Marvel Comics characters who've just never seemed all that darned comfortable,
shoe-horned willy-nilly into the standard mainstream super-hero mold
Every so often, the folks at Marvel make another stab at establishing this character as a straight-ahead, no apologies super-hero type.
They've tried doing this four or five times, as of this writing.
To paraphrase Jeff Smith's BONE: "Stupid, stupid
Marvel writers and editors!"
Lookit: the character is a former mercenary-for-hire. So: that's one.
He's been portrayed (at various times) as suffering from a pronounced case of clinical MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder). So: that's two, then.
... and: he's also the earthly servitor of Konshu: the ancient Egyptian "moon god," or somesuch. Strike three.
Call me crazynuttykookoo if you all wanna, here...
... but: that particular resume just doesn't
spell "Avengers material" to me.
Stated as plainly as possible: this guy's simply too friggin' weird to fit in with your Captain Americas and your Hawkeyes and your Iron Men.
"Oddball" characters, however, are pretty much what
the Defenders are all about.
WHAT HE BRINGS TO THE PARTY: a much-needed (and
welcome) hint of nighttime mystery and intrigue; a Robert Mitchum
(if you like) in Errol Flynn's clothing.
7.) THE SANDMAN -- Another luckless shirt-tail relation within the greater Marvel Universe "family," overall.
"Flint" Marko's baseline characterization (and principal motivation) has been treated more cavalierly than a college fraternity "pig date," these past few years; with various high-profile Marvel writers busily one-upping one another in their attempts to (re-)(re-)re-establish the poor schlemiel as either: a.) a cold, conniving super-villain; OR: b.) the perpetual "Hard Luck Harry" of the Marvel Universe, whose repeated attempts to turn the ethical corner continually end up in ruin.
He's been shuttlecocked from "reserve Avenger" status to opportunistic mercenary to out-and-out stinker so many times, these past few years... he's practically got whiplash, f'cryin' out loud.
In other words: primo DEFENDERS material.
WHAT HE BRINGS TO THE PARTY: He's met (and swapped licks with) practically everyone within the Marvel Universe, at one time or another; good, bad or undecided. He'd be the group's automatic "in" no matter where they ended up, nine times out of every ten.
Besides: he's a guy made of living
sand, for the luvva pete! He's all but got "Defenders" chiseled onto
his frickin' forehead, already!
8.) NIGHTCRAWLER -- I told you
I was planning on bagging my limit on Sorely Misused Marvel Mutant Characters,
before all was said and done. (... and I'm not done yet, neither.)
By now, it should be fairly obvious that -- given a projected "core" membership of the Son of Satan; Nighthawk; Valkyrie; and Luke Cage -- I'm going considerably "darker" with the semi-regulars than might otherwise be considered the meta-fictive "norm."
Back before the character had (inexplicably) been watered down to his present-day status as the X-Men's (oh, gag me) lovable "fuzzy elf" and resident Phil Donahue soundalike... the freakish "Kurt Wagner" possessed a genuine; potent; and (even) oddly romantic sense of the classic "doomed hero"; the likes of which the Marvel Universe has not been blessed with, in fact, since the glory days of the Incredible Hulk.
Outfitting this fellah with a handy-dandy "image inducer" (so that he can "score" at will with giggly airline stewardesses, and suchlike) and a jovial "I'm a hideous freak of nature, tra-la, tra-la" outlook on life plays so ridiculously against the character's primal and inherent strengths...
... well: the mind just plain ol' boggles,
is all.
What: I'm supposed to "buy" into the notion
that Peter Parker's life sucks dry rocks... but this guy, meanwhile,
is skipping about and airily warbling "Don't Worry, Be Happy"...?
(I mean... honestly think about it, now: you're a dashing young super-hero [and certified genius, to boot]; you're married to a leggy, adoring redheaded super model...
(... and this guy -- the furry, pointy-eared, two-toed guy, mind -- is Gettin' High On Life, while you're measuring the circumference of your favorite wrist with a kitchen knife...?)
C'mon.
I mean: c'mon.
WHAT HE BRINGS TO THE PARTY: purest, unadulterated
tragedy, if we play our storytelling cards right.
Okay. So.
Our roster thus far:
"CORE" MEMBERSHIP: The Son of Satan. Nighthawk. Valkyrie. Luke Cage.
"SECONDARY" CHARACTERS: Gambit. Moon Knight. Sandman. Nightcrawler.
Oh, yeah. This is shaping up to be one nicely off-beat, NON-Avengers-
ish bunch, right here.
It's these last four selections upcoming, however,
which are gonna generate the most voluble cries of: "Have you lost your
freakin' mind, Unca Cheeks...?"
9.) SHANG-CHI -- Now, just hear me out
on this one, dammit.
Marvel's erstwhile "Master of Kung Fu" -- the only begotten son of Fu Manchu, his own bad self -- briefly achieved well-merited "superstar" status back in the 1970s, under the storytelling tutelage of series wordsmith Doug Moench and penciler extraordinaire Paul Gulacy.
Trained from infancy to serve as a "living weapon" in the service of his nefarious sire, Shang-Chi (literal translation: "The Rising and Advancing of a Spirit") later renounced the devil-doctor and his works, and yoked himself in proactive tandem with a quirky cabal of British intelligence agents; working alongside these in order to safeguard others against the Machiavellian machinations of various would-be world conquerors (in general) and the implacable Fu Manchu (in particular).
The philosophical and incorruptible Shang-Chi has fallen upon hard storytelling times, alas, since those heady days of Bruce Lee-inspired mania. Writers other (read: lesser) than the estimable Mr. Moench have taken desultory and ineffective whacks at the character -- including a wildly inappropriate turn or two within the pages of (of all things) THE X-MEN -- with less than salutary results.
Such a fascinating character, however -- a cerebral
and reluctant warrior who, nonetheless, repeatedly found himself playing (in
his own words) "games of death and deceit" -- would fit in far more readily,
methinks, with our (increasingly) lost-in-the-shadows band of hard-bitten outcasts
and moody iconoclasts.
WHAT HE BRINGS TO THE PARTY: an appealing admixture of studied wisdom and wide-eyed naiveté.
You wanna talk "games of death and deceit," Shang... ?
... try hanging with a bunch of reformed super-villains
and the son of the Devil, whydon'cha.
10.) TAGAK (THE LEOPARD LORD) -- "Who
-- ?!?"
Tagak was a character introduced way, waaaaaay back in (cripes, but you lot have an uncanny way of making me feel older than Bob frickin' Hope) 1970, in the pages of DAREDEVIL #72. [See cover reproduction, below]
A hunter/law-enforcer from a mysterious, other-worldly "mirror dimension," the regal and soft-spoken Tagak (like all of his people) was "blind," by Earthly standards... yet able to "see" through the eyes of his leopard "familiar," Opar; and (even better) capable of shunting himself from place to place -- earthly or otherwise -- by stepping placidly through the nearest mirror.
Right away, then, you see: we're talking serious, serious Mondo Bizarro...
... which means (of course) that we're talking serious,
serious DEFENDERS material.
Tagak was -- and (presumably) still is -- a rigorously honorable, ethical sort; a patient and unswerving man-stalker, who was (nonetheless) loathe to engage in needless violence or bloodshed.
Why Marvel's never done much of anything with this fascinating and under-utilized character, as of this writing, is pretty much anybody's guess, really...
... but: we can fix THAT right enough, by golly
by jingo.
WHAT HE BRINGS TO THE PARTY: Calm. Reason. And a big, kick-
ass kittycat.
11.) KITTY PRYDE
12.) PETER WISDOM -- ... a "two-fer,"
in other words.
These two former members of Marvel's EXCALIBUR comic -- circa writer Warren Ellis' singular tenure on same -- were (as intelligently explicated by that eminently worthy gent) pretty much the super-hero equivalent of '60s British secret agents John Steed and Emma Peel; with X-MEN alumnus Pryde playing the coolly efficient Mrs. Peel, and the unkempt and (somewhat) scummy Wisdom essaying the role of the more cynical and ruthless Mr. Steed.
Peter Wisdom was the real "star" of this two-person road show, of course: an appealingly John Constantine-ish sort of rogue and wastrel, possessed of both: a.) a bizarre form of pyrokinesis; and: b.) a smug disregard for the standard conventions and practices of the spandexed super-hero set.
(Wisdom worked, for a time, with a British [quasi]-governmental
operation known as "Black Air": an outfit having repeated truck with ghoulies
and aliens and long-legged beasties of every manner and sort. So: once again... we find ourselves back squarely in DEFENDERS territory, you see.)
Simply put: these two, as a unit, stick out like a pair of mangled thumbs in the midst of the standard, overheated X-MEN-style super-hero histrionics.
On the other hand, however: they fit right in
with Daimon Hellstrom; Moon Knight; Tagak and all the rest.
WHAT THEY BOTH BRING TO THE PARTY: the "street level" aspect and worldview of the supernatural, as it impacts on the rest of the denizens of the Marvel Universe. That's one, then.
A genuine "love interest" within the team, proper; never a bad thing, "plot point"-wise. That's two.
... and: it helps us to reel in a few more goggle-eyed "X"-junkies. Which means (obviously) increased sales, in turn. Which is an even better thing, ultimately.
And that's three.
Again: it certainly isn't your father's DEFENDERS, by any stretch of the imagination. And I realize that, of course.
It isn't the original Dr. Strange/Hulk/Namor/Silver Surfer "crushing-
planets-in-their-mighty-hands" line-up.
It isn't the much-beloved (and justly so, I hasten to add) Dr. Strange/
Hulk/Nighthawk/Valkyrie axis, either.
... and: it's anything but the Mighty
Avengers.
What it is, is: a team exceptionally well-suited to operating at the very outermost "fringes" of the standard Marvel Comics super-hero universe (just as the original DEFENDERS did, in fact).
Quick. Silent. Well-balanced in strength and stealth and smarts. Comfortable in striking from -- and then stepping back into -- the shadows (figuratively or otherwise).
No: it's very definitely is not not not your father's DEFENDERS.
On the other hand, however: neither was Steve
Gerber's, come to think.
If THE DEFENDERS wasn't about the big-time Breaking of Rules (whether story-wise or team roster-wise)...
... then it wasn't about much of anything at all, ultimately.
I'm just sayin', really. That's
all.
"If I Ran the Defenders...": PAGE ONE
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