Unca Cheeks the Toy Wonder's Silver Age Comics Web Site!
The Sixteen Comics Series' That Made Unca Cheeks Smile and Smile Most During the Last Twelve Months (Give or Take) Pt. 3
This is it, then.
The Big Five.
The bestest of the bestest.
If you missed out on any of these, this past year...
... baby you missed EVERYthing. 
#5 Back In the Saddle Again Kurt Busiek's Incomparable ASTRO CITY
Twenty years from now -- assuming there are still mainstream comic books (or even a comics readership; knock on wood) twenty years from now -- greying collectors and fans will be discussing the work Kurt Busiek and Brent Anderson have been doing on ASTRO CITY in the same hushed, reverent tones we all reserve for the likes of (say) the Jack Kirby/Stan Lee issues of FANTASTIC FOUR.
No; Unca Cheeks is not engaging in unseemly hyperbole, here.
Having (from all outward indications) recovered from the physical infirmities plaguing him a year or so ago, the estimable Mister Busiek has come roaring back with a vengeance on the tricky THUNDERBOLTS and the balls-out AVENGERS, to be sure...
... but nowhere more so than he has with this title, in particular his "baby," if you like.
With the gargantuan "Steeljack" storyline having finally reached its ringing, epic conclusion, the curious "newbie" reader is now fortunate enough to satisfy their burning curiosity, re this series, one of two ways either by --
a.) ... sampling any one of the upcoming six single issue stories forthcoming, over the next half-year; OR --
b.) ... waiting for the inevitable "Steeljack" trade paperback collection, and simply gorging themselves on a Russian novel-sized example on why this man is currently being touted as (perhaps) the most consummate craftsman working in the genre, today.
Boy... we should only all have that sort of insoluble dilemma to wrestle
with, huh...?
With the (possible) exception of Grant Morrison's JLA there's no adventure series being published today which more effectively plays with the very notions of icons and archetypes.
This is the comics series Joseph Campbell would have read, if he'd lived to see it.
Hell he probably would have ponied up for a subscription.
#4 Naked City The "No-Man's Land" Saga, in BATMAN; DETECTIVE; ROBIN; NIGHTWING; AZRAEL; Etcetera
If -- as recurrent (and distressing) online rumor has it -- longtime "Bat"- Editor Emeritus Dennis O'Neil is going out at the end of the year-long, multi-title "No-Man's Land" story arc...
... then, by God he's sure going out with one holy mother
of a big BANG.
Everyone knows the bass riff for this particular tune, by now Mack Daddy of All Earthquakes Smacks Gotham City. Gotham City Faw Down
and Go Boom. NastyBad Spandexed Guys Take Over Gotham City. Gotham
City Ends Up Looking Like Some Of the More Really Seedy and Depressing Out-Takes
From ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, PART THREE ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.
Discounting the truly stomach-churning new costume some idiot decided to squeeze
poor, put-upon Azrael into -- making him look like nothing so much as
a profoundly medicated David Hasselhoff, on his way to a casting call
for the Duluth Dinner Theatre production of LA CAGE AUX FOLLES -- there have
been precious few missteps or miscues along the way; all the more incredible,
really, when one pauses to reflect upon the fact that this meta-fictive gang
bang has involved the contributions of -- like -- eleventy-gazillion
writers (give or take).
Special plaudits are due to three of these, in particular:
*** Paul Dini, for whacking a grand slam over the center field fence
with BATMAN HARLEY QUINN; adding the irrepressible ingenue from
the acclaimed Batman cartoons to the mainstream canon, and doing it with
OOOoomph.
*** Award-winning mystery novelist Greg Rucka [KEEPER], for providing
the knock-out opening story arc (and resulting framework); the astounding Two-Face
two-parter, "Jurisprudence"; and -- most importantly -- signing up for
the long haul, upon the completion of the "No-Man's Land" arc.
*** ... and -- most importantly -- Workhorse Numero Uno Chuck Dixon; whose indefatigable efforts on ROBIN; NIGHTWING; CATWOMAN; BIRDS OF PREY; and (for all I know) every other DC series with one or more vowel(s) in the title continues to set the pace for every other Bat-scribe out there, month in and month out.
Whatever it is that DC's paying these three gents...
... trust me it ain't enough.
The next time you run across one of those would-be online snobs simpering on and endlessly on about how "the only real Batman book left is BATMAN GOTHAM ADVENTURES," or somesuch... do what Unca Cheeks always does, in similar situ:
Laugh at then.
Laugh at them until they start crying.
The big, dopey wussybears.
#3 The Final Days Grant Morrison's and Howard Porter's JLA
Unca Cheeks still vividly recalls all the boo-hoo-hooing and suchlike that ran all over the (now defunct) JUSTICE LEAGUE Message Board on AOL, upon (former) DC editor Rueben Diaz's announcement that Grant Morrison was taking on the thankless task of resuscitating a JLA franchise so palsied and enfeebled by years of clueless mediocrity, the title was but scant heartbeats away from Total Cancellation.
To hear the anti-Morrison faction all wailing like so may road show Cassandras you'd have thought DC had signed up the late Jim Morrison, f'chrissakes.
"He's too weeeeeeeird," the panicky plainchant went.
"He's a certifiable head case," they yammered and yodeled.
"What about THE BLUE BEEEEEEEETLE -- ?!?"they shrieked, in unison, until a
patient and gentle Unca Cheeks finally managed to track them down -- one by
one -- and painstakingly transform their respective carotid arteries into so
many bloody pitch pipes.
It is only now -- with the grand three-and-a-half year experiment drawing to a close -- that we may soberly evaluate Grant Morrison's tenure on this DC's legendary "flagship" team title.
Bottom line, then:
Grant. Morrison. Just. Bloody. Rocks.
Big, BIG plots; pacing like a soapbox racer careening its way down the side of K2, sans breaks; "continuity" as a garnish, rather than an entree.
Conceptually, Grant Morrison is the closest thing the late Jack "King" Kirby has to a legitimate "heir" in comics.
I know of no higher compliment to pay the man than that, ultimately.
The mark of a true innovator, in the mainstream adventure comics genre, is this once he (or she) has walked away from a given title...
... no future writer(s) will ever be able to follow 'em without paying homage -- whether in content; structure; or theme -- to said predecessor's labors.
Like Will Eisner, on THE SPIRIT.
Like Carl Barks, re UNCLE SCROOGE.
Like Jack Kirby and his "Fourth World."
Like Dennis O'Neil's decades-long association with BATMAN.
Like Grant Morrison... and the JLA.
... and, remember you read it here, first.
#2 Love Is the Drug Terry Moore's STRANGERS IN PARADISE
One of the most gratifying aspects of cobbling up page after page for this site, last year, was the sheer number of e-mails with which Unca Cheeks was all but inundated; thanking him "for turning me on to Terry Moore's STRANGERS IN PARADISE."
Let's see if we can round up a few more stragglers from the herd, this time
out.
Detailing the knotting; fraying; and re-knotting of interpersonal relationships (both romantic and otherwise) between the all-time freakiest trio in comics -- gentle, confused [and self-loathing] Francine ; violent ex-call girl [and confirmed lesbian] Katchoo, who has worshipped Francine since high school; and the resolutely moral David, writhing daily under the lash of his intermingled feelings for both women -- STRANGERS is an astonishing artistic tour de force on the part of writer/penciler/inker/self-publisher Moore.
Moore may very well have the keenest ear going (re the nuances of human speech, and the swordplay of everyday conversation between individuals who share... ummmmm... "history" with one another) of any writer working in comics, today.
Combine that with an equally useful gift for the subtle rendering of facial expression, and the gradations of body language... and you've got one dangerous writer/artist on your hands.
Combine those with a mordant and piercing sensahumor... and you've
got one dangerously drop-dead HYSTERICAL writer/artist on your hands.
No this series certainly will not prove to every reader's tastes, upon sampling of same. Unca Cheeks recognizes (and respects) this.
There are plenty of good people out there, in the world, who've never developed
a taste for caviar or champagne, either.
"... but... but... Unca Cheeks," I hear you all wail, As One; "... if Terry Moore's stone brilliant STRANGERS IN PARADISE is Number Two on the list, this year...
"... then -- good golly -- which tres formidable title could possibly have waltzed off with the much-coveted Number ONE honors -- ?!?"
Well, troopers and trooperettes... I'll tell ya:
If there was any one writer out there who had himself (in baseball terms) a "career year" in 1999...
... then it was the crazed Brit genius behind the already gushed-over LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN...
... and the cheerily whacked-out, intriguingly Camille Paglia-ish post-feminist PROMETHEA...
... AND the audacious (if maddeningly uneven) anthology title, TOMORROW STORIES...
... AND the fluffy-but-fun TOM STRONG...
... AND -- best bestest of ALL --
#1 Hill Street Blues, In Spandex Alan Moore's Wholly Insane and Irreplaceable TOP 10
Sweet Jesus, but this here comic is nothing short of a cock-eyed freakin'
miracle.
...
Taking place somewhere in the lower bowels of a fetid, run-down futuristic ubercity by the name of "Neopolis," TOP 10 revolves around the tiny triumphs (and large-scale personal desolation) of the various cops working said city's Tenth Precinct.
Just one "hitch," here:
Everyone in Neopolis -- citizen; cop; and cutpurse, alike -- is a meta-
human.
One part George R. R. Martin's WILD CARDS; one part HILL STREET BLUES; and eight parts the deranged inner world of the man responsible for bringing us (among other rare and wondrous offerings) FROM HELL and LOST GIRLS; Alan Moore's TOP 10 is such a richly textured setting -- packed fit to bursting with quick, nearly subliminal "in-jokes" and asides for the enjoyment of the careful reader; and peopled with some of the most outrageous and over-the-top characters since the very earliest days of the Kirby/Ditko/Lee Marvel Comics -- that each and every issue can be pored over again and again; surrendering some new meta-fictive nugget or treasure upon each successive reading.
There's Staff Sergeant Caesar Kemlo, for instance the patient
and long-suffering cybernetically-enhanced Dobermann pinscher who handles the
daily duty roster for Top 10, and who enjoys a very active (if somewhat...
ummmmm... bizarre) sex life, off duty.
There's Bob "Blindshot" Booker the sightless "Zen cabby" who threads his high-speed way between horrified, onrushing motorists and panic-stricken innocent bystanders with a cheery, oblivious abandon. ("I don't drive the cab," he explains to his [inevitably] shrieking passengers. "The universe drives the cab. All distance is as nothing in the mind of the Buddha... know what I'm sayin'?")
There's Larry "Frenzy" Fischmann (of the law firm "Metavac, Fischmann and Goebbels) a peevish and perpetually offended (and offensive) public defender, whose physical appearance (regrettably) mirrors his avocation all too accurately.
And there's Detective John Corbeau -- "King Peacock," to his friends -- who investigates murder scenes whilst in silent communion with the voodoo spirit loa whom he worships...
... and Glushko the Space Man perpetually soused Soviet telepath -- now drawing a paycheck as the Top 10's resident interrogator; living with a semi-sentient chimpanzee by the name of "Tanya"; and dreaming embittered dreams of a Russian revolution that never came...
... and Andy "Airbag" Soames a self-inflating insurance salesman with a pronounced preference for dallying with street hookers...
... and The Rumor (a cop working the Top 10 whom no one there has ever actually seen; and may not, in fact, even exist)...
... and teenaged junkies running meta-human specific street drugs with names like "Amazo Pills" and "Mongoose Blood"...
... and people worrying about catching the latest venereal disease, STORMS (Sexually Transmitted Organic Rapid Mutation Syndrome)...
... and cynical, world-weary officers drowning their communal sorrows, after hours, in crappy little cop bars like Chemicals'N'Lightning...
... and costumed adolescent "raver" bands the mass-merchandized likes of Sidekixx (whose current single -- "Boy Wondering" -- is presently ratcheting its way up the charts)...
... and... and... and --
... oh, good golly, people! Just take Unca Cheeks' at his friggin' word, for once, and BUY the bloody thing, all right?
It's just exactly that relentlessly waycool and amazing.
Welcome back to the mainstream, Alan.
The Good Lord alone knows but that we've missed you, buddy.
Incidentally -- appropos of precisely nothing, you understand -- how
many of you out there would be interested in watching Unca Cheeks take a steel
boat hook to the absolute stinkiest comics of 1999, two weeks from now...?
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