Dan looked at the letter in his hands and felt stunned. Stunned. That was the only word he could find that would explain his feelings. He was stunned at actually having received such a note and the fact that Hallie even took the time to address it properly. In fact, it looked more like a business letter.

After a two-year steady relationship, she was dropping him. That was it. In the few seconds it took to read the letter, all life as he knew it was down the drain.

Those unexplainable feelings of loss were coming back. The same feelings he felt when his father died in Korea and when his mother died almost ten years ago. The only thing he was left with were feelings of loneliness and a name that rhymed. Dan Mangan. What more can you expect from a mother whose name was Megan Regan?

Hallie Belden had been everything he wanted in a friend, love interest and maybe someday, a wife. But now, his future looked uncertain as he stared down at her neatly typed letter stating that she didn�t love him anymore. Dan�s heartstrings felt like they had been cut after reading her piercing words.

�What went wrong?� Dan asked the thin air. His eyes fell upon a fairly modest engagement ring he meant to give her tomorrow night. It had one medium-sized diamond in the center and two smaller ones on each side. He found it on sale at Rosemary�s Jewelers. Hallie had even pointed out the same style ring in a catalogue one day.

�Give me some credit for actually picking up on the hint!� Dan cried out at the ring. �I just don�t get it!�

Nothing. Silence. �I can�t take this,� he muttered to himself and stood up. He needed to clear his head.

Ten minutes later, he found himself wandering around out in the game preserve on Glen Road. He had many good times in this game preserve. Many of those good times were with Hallie Belden. Like a horse being given his head to find his way back home, Dan unconsciously made his way down the path that led to the old abandoned schoolhouse where Mr. Maypenny kept the feed for deer and the other wildlife on the preserve.

Seven years ago during the summer of 1959, when Hallie first arrived in Sleepyside, Dan took interest in her during one of her cousin�s infamous mysteries. She was headstrong, brave, adventurous, caring, passionate about life, outdoorsy, and made a wonderful friend. She was someone he could talk to when he was going through different phases in life.

Lying beneath all this was her beauty. She was tall, had dark tanned skin, dark black hair and blackberry eyes. Her black eyes were what had first taken his heart captive. To Dan, they were irresistible and made him turn to putty whenever he looked into them. In fact, he had decided not look in her eyes while proposing to her for fear that he would stumble all the way through it and ruin the whole moment for her. He was hoping she wouldn�t notice if he just fixed his eyes on the teeny mole just to the left of her nose.

As Dan came upon the old rickety schoolhouse, he began to imagine that he was there with Hallie again. One day, during summer vacation in 1962, they had gone for a walk and ended up there. Mr. Maypenny had given Dan the day off from his duties on the game preserve because Hallie was in town. It had all been small talk until they heard the hooves of six horses come from a distance. Knowing that within minutes they would be in sight of their friends, they chose to run down a pathway to one of the feeding stations.

Like children, they ran hand in hand to safety. Seventeen-year-old Hallie had looked exceptionally vibrant and even a bit of light pink showed in her flushing cheeks as she caught her breath after running. The sun shone perfectly through the trees, illuminating beautiful patterns on the forest floor making the situation hopeless. Dan had fallen in love and there was no rescuing him. Instead of watching their friends ride by on their horses, he watched Hallie. Not knowing really what to say, he leaned forward and lightly kissed her on the lips. It had been so long since he had kissed a girl that he had almost forgotten what it felt like.

�Aurnia,� Dan lamented to himself. That was his word for her, even though he didn�t know what it meant. He had heard his father call his mother this from time to time and felt that if someone like his mother was worthy of such a pretty name, then so would Hallie.

Hallie didn�t protest the kiss. Their lips were locked together for what seemed like hours, which was a good thing. Dan�s mind went blank as he tried to think of what to do next.

Three days ago Hallie had suggested that they take a peaceful stroll along the banks of the Hudson River. It was a warm summer evening and the river was at its calmest, some of the best weather for walking hand-in-hand and for whispering sweet nothings to each other.

�Dan, what was your mother like?� Hallie asked wistfully.

�There�s nothing much to tell,� Dan responded with a shrug. �I hardly remember much about her.�

�Small details or anything, Dan. I don�t care.� Hallie looked up at him with a wide grin on her face. She had been trying to wheedle any knowledge of his mother from him since they first began dating.

�Hallie,� Dan started, �Mom was never around much. She was a good woman, I�ll give her that.�

�Why was she a good woman?�

�I don�t know. I guess because she worked two full-time jobs and left me with the neighbor lady.� Dan sighed. �Let�s not talk about her, okay?�

�Why not? She�s your mother, Dan.�

�She was a woman who felt she needed to prove herself to someone, I guess.� Dan picked up a small rock and tossed into the river. �What did it matter that she overworked herself. What did it prove? Nothing. So, I don�t wanna talk about her.�

�What did she do to you, Dan?� Hallie asked, facing him. For two years now, she has tried on numerous accounts to get him to talk about his mother, but was unsuccessful.

�She didn�t do anything to me, Hallie,� Dan said and shrugged his shoulders. �She was never around to do anything.�

Hallie sat down on one of the bigger rocks on the shore. �She worked two jobs because she had a mouth to feed. So what�s the problem?�

�The problem is, is that she did all this for what? So that she could die from over exhaustion? So she could leave me alone at twelve-years-old?� Dan leaned up against one of the big boulders that had washed ashore years ago. �Even so, we still didn�t have enough to eat. So what was the point?�

�Pride?�

�I said I didn�t want to talk about it,� Dan muttered and walked away.

�I said �pride�!� Hallie called after him. It was no use. Dan was too far way to hear. Her four years of track in high school paid off as her long legs helped her catch up to him. �Listen, pal,� she yelled at him, �sulk all you want to, but could it be that your mother was doing all this for you, and you just don�t know how to be thankful for it?�

�What are you? Some kind of psychiatrist?�

Those words felt like a stinging slap across Hallie�s face. �No I�m not, but I think I�m entitled to an opinion once in while. You just can�t accept the fact that someone�s only purpose in life was to make sure you didn�t go hungry!�

Dan stopped walking and turned to face Hallie. �What is this? A guilt trip? Besides, you�re a fine one to talk! You have both parents, brothers and a whole family. You take all this for granted, you know. You have no idea what I�d give to have Mom and Dad back again.�

�You have Regan,� Hallie answered. �Some kids don�t even have that.�

�Don�t even get me started with Uncle Bill,� Dan said and turned away.

�Why? He�s your only living relative and someone whom you should be thankful for,� she scolded as she pulled him back to face her. �So he�s not the best uncle. Big deal! You think Uncle Pete and Andy are the best of uncles too?�

�If your parents died, and you had no other family to turn to and had no idea how to get in touch with the rest of the family, you�d be a little hurt if either one of your uncles gave up on you.� Dan shook his head and let out a cynical laugh. �You know, Hal, it�s girls like you who have no clue. People like you, and Trixie, Honey, Diana, Brian and Mart who have no clue. Not even Jim, because up until Juliana was discovered, neither one of them knew anything about each other. On the other hand, Uncle Bill knew about me and chose not to do anything about it until I got caught by the law and thrown in jail.�

Dan hated to admit it, but seeing tears in Hallie�s eyes gave him a small sense of satisfaction. It was as if he was finally getting his point across.

�I�m incredibly thankful that Uncle Bill came to get me when he did, because I�d have had to do time in Juvi Hall. But what stopped him from acting like an uncle before?� Dan turned around to look out across the river. �None of you have any idea what that did to me the day I showed up in Sleepyside and found out I was an �experiment�.�

Hallie wiped her eyes dry and sniffed. �I�m sorry none of us are as unfortunate as you, Dan. But you�re older now and all that�s in the past. I think it�s time for you to--� Hallie was so sure she wanted to say it, but hesitated for fear of making him angry; tomorrow she would wish she had said it. ��get on with life.�

Dan looked startled, but said nothing for a few seconds. �I already said I didn�t want to talk about it,� he shouted. �Why do you insist on digging?�

�Because I want to know what�s going on behind this mask called �Dan Mangan the Bob-White�.� Hallie took a deep breath. �I�m going home, and I don�t expect you to come with me. I�m tired.� With that, Hallie had turned and walked away.

Dinner that evening was quiet except for the old clock on the mantel. An elderly Walter Maypenny ate in silence as Dan poked his hunter stew.

�It�ll get cold,� Walter mumbled as he took a bite of a dinner roll.

Dan didn�t answer. The only thing that was more important than eating was Hallie. He had tried to call the Belden home earlier, but Hallie wasn�t around. Trixie had talked to him and she sounded more like she knew where her cousin was, and was left with special instructions.

�Dan,� Walter started. After Dan�s grunt, the old man continued. �Gonna see Hallie this evening? She�s leaving for Idaho in the morning, right?�

�Don�t know,� Dan muttered and took a sip of the crusty old coffee that Mr. Maypenny had made that morning. �Don�t know her schedule.�

Walter nodded and went back to eating. Relationships hadn�t changed much since back in the day when he was playing the field. Gretta Maypenny was his first love and eventually became his wife, but even their relationship had been rocky. So, Walter understood. Times hadn�t really changed much.

�Well?� Dan said as he pushed his bowl of stew away.

�Well what?� Walter asked.

�Let�s hear it,� Dan said sarcastically. �I�ll bet you�re loaded with great advice on how to handle this type of thing.�

Ignoring Dan�s sarcasm, the old man chuckled to himself. �Hallie�s a nice girl, and I think she�s perfect for you. I know you think so yourself. But,� he said as he cleared his dishes and Dan�s, �this is relationship is between you and Hallie. I don�t meddle.�

Mr. Maypenny busied himself washing dishes and Dan slipped a sweatshirt on to head outside. �I�ve already checked the feeding stations. They�re good for the night.� Walter said as Dan put his hand on the doorknob.

�I�m gonna head over to the Belden�s,� Dan answered.

�All right,� Walter said and began filling up the sink with hot sudsy water. Just before Dan shut the door, Mr. Maypenny spoke up. �Whether it was your fault or her fault, it doesn�t matter. Gretta and I had a rule: never let the sun set on an argument.�

Dan hesitated, and then shut the door.

�Hey Dan,� Honey said quietly upon greeting Dan at the Belden house. Since she was leaving the next day, a little party had been planned for Hallie, and all the Bob-Whites were in the living room having fun. All the Bob-Whites, that is, except Dan. �What�re you doing here? If Hallie sees you, she�ll be angry.�

�I came over to talk to her. I know she�s leaving tomorrow, but there�s just some things that should be talked about.� Dan�s light blue eyes shone with concern as he heard Hallie in the Belden living room laughing in the company of the other Bob-Whites. �Can you tell her I�m here?�

Honey bit her lip and glanced behind her. Hallie was sitting on the sofa laughing as the group played Charades. Trixie, Jim and Diana were falling over themselves laughing as a very frustrated Mart tried acting something out. �I can tell her you�re here, I guess. She was very upset earlier, you know.�

Dan nodded and Honey returned to the living room. She offered to let Dan in, but he declined. Moments later, Hallie joined him out on the back porch, sitting down next to him on the lawn furniture. She didn�t look as if she were upset that he was there, but more or less annoyed.

�Hal, I�m not sure what to think about things, but I can�t believe you want to throw away a relationship over a small argument,� Dan started. He wasn�t sure how to start these conversations, if there ever is a way.

�It�s not just the argument down by the river, Dan,� Hallie explained. �It�s many things all added up.� Hallie paused to think a little. �I can�t live in a relationship where there are masks. If I can�t love the true Dan Mangan, then I don�t want to love him at all.�

Dan raised one eyebrow. �Everything you need to know about �Dan� is right here,� he gestured to himself. �I�m not hiding anything from you, if that�s what you mean. I don�t have secrets.�

�Secrets aren�t what I�m talking about. You�ve carried around so much baggage for the last ten years that it gets disturbing.� Hallie leaned back and crossed her long, thin, tanned legs. �I also can�t help but think that I was second choice to someone else.�

Dan raised both his eyebrows. �If you�re implying that I�m two-timing��

�I never said �two-timing�.� Hallie interrupted. �I�m talking about the fact that there�s someone else you wanted to have, but you can�t, so you settled with me.�

Dan�s heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. �You�re crazy, Hallie. Just crazy, but hey, if that�s the way you feel about things, then so be it.�

�It�s just the way it is, Dan. Face it. I know who the girl is, but I�m not going to say because then things will be weird for the three of us.� Hallie stood up. �I�m not going to get all teary over you or anything, but I do want to end this.�

Dan began to talk, but Hallie lifted her hand to stop him.

�Ten years from now, you�ll still be reliving life as a twelve-year-old and not moving on. You�ll still be digging up the past in your head, but won�t talk about it. I�ll be married to a mystery and frankly, that�s not how I�m prepared to spend life. I like a mystery just as much as some people. But even an unsolvable, uncrackable mystery irritates some of the greatest detectives.�

He remained quiet. Hallie was right, he had to admit that. But he could change. No, he couldn�t. He�d been like this for too long.

�Where are you going?� Hallie said as Dan turned around.

�I�m going home,� Dan said simply.

�Dan,� Hallie called after him.

He turned around, but kept silent. His icy-blue eyes did all the talking for him.

Hallie leaned up against one of the posts. �Let�s not split like this.�

�Do you expect me to be�� Dan�s voice cracked as his eyes filled with tears. ��cheerful?� he finished.

�No, but I want to be civil.� Hallie turned her head briefly when a burst of laughter came from inside the Belden home. �I don�t want you to think that I no longer love you. I do love you.� Hallie lost her bravery and gave in to her threatening tears. �But I just don�t want to ruin the friendship we have. You are more than a friend to me, but not a lover.�

Hallie�s words felt like a thousand daggers into Dan�s heart, but he took them in anyway. �I love you too, Hallie,� he cried through his tears. �I want you to be happy too, and if it�s without me, then so be it.� Dan wiped his nose with the back of his hand. �You�d better get back in there. It�s your party after all.�

Hallie forced a chuckle. �I have all night. It�s a slumber party.� Hallie�s heart broke into pieces when Dan smiled at her. She felt guilty for breaking his heart, but knew better than to give in to weakness.

Dan wrapped his arms around her trembling body and kissed her neck. �I love you, Hallie, never forget that. You say the word, though��

�Dan, don�t do this,� Hallie bawled. �Just don�t.� For a few minutes, they held each other in a long, tight hug until Dan pulled away.

�I guess I�ll be going,� Dan said once again and turned. �Do you want me over here in the morning to see you off?�

�No,� Hallie said and quickly corrected herself. �I mean, yes. I mean, no, don�t go home, and yes, I want you here in the morning.�

Dan stepped down off the porch and laughed. �You don�t know what you want, do you?� He grinned as his eyes twinkled.

Hallie laughed. �No, I mean, spend the night here with the rest of us Bob-Whites.�

�You okay with that?�

�Well, it�s like this. I�m leaving tomorrow, and this is a Bob-White party. You are a Bob-White aren�t you?�

For an answer, Dan puckered his lips and softly whistled bob-bobwhite.

Many different looks and silent conversations made their way around the Belden living room as Dan followed Hallie inside and took a seat next to her on the couch. Both their eyes were swollen and bloodshot, but they tried to be cool about it and joined in on the Charades game. Hallie rejoined her old team of Honey, Brian and Bobby, and Dan joined Trixie�s team. They played on until very late when Bobby left for the Lynch home to spend the night. Slowly, each of the eight people got ready for bed.

Dan listened as the four girls at one end of the living room giggled and whispered while Brian and Jim kept their voices low as they talked about college. Mart had fallen asleep almost as soon as his head touched the pillow. Small memories came back to him as he listened to the old Grandfather clock tick the minutes away. Memories of home.

Dan lay awake as he thought of ten years ago when his father was killed in Korea. There was a knock on the door that morning, and his mother answered it.

�Mrs. Mangan?� the well-dressed military officer asked.

Megan Mangan was sick that morning and was still dressed in her bathrobe. �Yes, that is me,� she answered the man.

�As an officer of the United States Army, it is my duty to present this to you.� The officer handed her a letter.

Coming out of his distant thoughts, Dan watched as Hallie made her way out to the dimly lit kitchen for a drink of water. Her long black hair flowed down around her slim, tanned shoulders. In the light from the kitchen, Dan could see her loose fitting, cotton, summer pajamas and how they perfectly accented her body, yet still left a lot to the imagination.

Dan smiled to himself as he turned over and looked out the window up at the moon. �I love you, Aurnia� played over and over in his mind until he slowly drifted off to sleep.

�I Need You� Sung by the Beatles. Used without permission.
�I Am a Rock� Sung by Simon and Garfunkel. Used without permission.
�I Know There�s an Answer� Sung by The Beach Boys. Used without permission.
All characters are owned by Western Publishing Company therefore, leaving me pretty much high and dry as far as my legal usage of them in my stories. On the other hand, they�ll have to catch me first.
�Aurnia� can be found at Irish Feminine Names