*Blue Cheeze* Chantelle - Just Wanted to Tell You

Chapter 13
'The war between men and women'
James Thurber (American humorist), 1934

'For God's sake Lee, just leave it be will you!' Jenna snapped, embarrassed
and fed up, as much for Simon as for herself.
Seething, she left the table and went to get her handbag, which she had left
in the bedroom.
Lee looked uncomfortable.
'I'd better go apologise' he mumbled.
Gwen put a hand on Lee's shoulder as she saw Simon leave the room.
'Leave her for the moment, love,' Gwen said soothingly, 'she didn't mean to
snap, she's just a bit worked up.'

Back in the bedroom, Jenna sat on the bed to calm down, knowing full well
that Lee was only playing, and feeling rather guilty for snapping at him.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a quiet knock at the door. Expecting it to
be Lee, she looked up. A pair of cautious brown eyes however, were
looking at her from around the doorframe.
'Jenna, can I come in?' Simon asked, faltering at the door.
Jenna nodded.
Simon sat down on the bed beside her and keeping his eyes fixed on the
floor, began to speak.
'Jenna�look I'm sorry that I burst in on you last night, I didn't mean to, I
just wanted to make sure you were OK, and I know it must have been really
awkward. It's my fault that you're embarrassed and I just wanted to
apologise.'
Simon stopped, relieved that he had finished and waited for Jenna's
response.
Jenna did an unexpected and very un-Jenna-like thing.
Leaning over and kissing Simon gently on the cheek, she wrapped her arms
around his waist and leant her head against his shoulder.
Simon tensed up, but feeling her head against his shoulder he relaxed,
bringing his hand up to slowly stroke her shining hair.
'It's not your fault,' Jenna replied quietly, then smiled into Simon's neck, 'I
was the one who screamed at a feather'
Looking up at him, her eyes blue and apologetic, Jenna gave Simon a smile.
Seeing that she was joking, Simon smiled back.
'Friends again?' he questioned.
Jenna gave a cheeky grin.
'We weren't friends in the first place!' she retorted.
'Oooh!' Simon replied, pretending to be offended, before he picked up a
pillow and brought it square down on Jenna's unsuspecting head.
'Ooof!' replied Jenna with a face full of pillow. Giggling she picked up
another pillow and gave as good as she got.
Very soon the air seemed to be full of flying pillows.
Downstairs, Lee and Gwen were looking at the ceiling, which seemed to be
emitting funny 'flump' noises, interspersed with high-pitched giggling and
deep chuckling.
Puzzled, they looked at each other.
'What ARE they doing?' Lee said, shaking his head in wonder.

7 minutes later the two reappeared in the kitchen, Jenna tousle haired with
flushed cheeks and Simon with a massive grin on his face.
Lee, tactful for once, decided not to say anything. He did however, remind
Simon that he had to go into the studio.
Simon groaned and turning to Jenna explained, 'Lee and Dunc, lucky devils,
did their vocals the other day. Me and Ant have to record today.'
Suddenly Simon smiled, looking at Jenna he asked, 'I don't s'pose you want
to come and watch do you?'
'Love to,' Jenna replied, grinning happily as they left the kitchen.
Lee looked at Gwen in amazement.
Gwen just grinned and shrugged her shoulders.

Chapter 14
'We look before and after, and pine for what is not.
Our sincerest laughter, with some pain is fraught.
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.'
Percy Bysshe Shelley (English Poet), 1819

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Jenna and Simon became
fast friends, much to the surprise of the others as they could still see what
Simon and Jenna failed to see. The longing looks that passed between the
two showed it, though Jenna and Simon each seemed unaware. Gwen would
see Jenna's eyes suddenly cloud over while she was watching Simon talk, to
be replaced by cheerfulness as quickly as it had come. Lee saw Simon's
eyes turn sad, as he watched Jenna laugh at Ant's joking, before his face
was masked again. Each still thought that the other was in love with one
half of Gwen and Lee.

'How can they not see it!' Duncan was amazed.
'One day they will,' Ant replied, 'If it's meant to be, it'll be.'

So everything carried on as normal�until Jenna's second visit to the studio.

'And this tab adjusts the treble level', the sound engineer was showing a
rather overwhelmed Jenna the massive amount of buttons, dials, tabs and
flashing lights on the mixing board.
'Wow,' exclaimed Jenna, 'I still don't know how you remember what
they're all for.'
The surrounding production crew grinned and the sound engineer pressed a
small green button in front of him. 'OK Simon, we're ready for you.'
Tapping his cap brim and nodding in response, Simon cleared his throat and
closing his eyes, waited for the music to come through his headphones.

A Simon began to sing, Jenna's stomach flipped, feeling like she had
swallowed a rather energetic frog. Deep and low, Simon's voice filled the
mixing room.
Sweet and viscous as melted chocolate, it seemed to enshroud Jenna until it
appeared that she and Simon were the only ones there. She'd heard him sing
before, but it had been nothing like this.
Although Simon was singing a song that Jenna had never heard before, what
he was singing about was close enough to home, for the song was about
loving someone in silence because they loved someone else. Clich�d
enough love song but made more real for Jenna by the fact that for her it
was real.
'I can't even be friends with him if things like this keep reminding me that
it's not me he loves,' Jenna thought unhappily.

Simon sang, eyes shut, thinking only of the unseen girl that would be
watching him through the glass. Putting all of his feelings into the words
and wanting her more than anything else, he continued to sing, slow and
sad, still with eyes closed. This, Jenna was glad of because although silent
tears threatened to spill over, she couldn't take her eyes off the person
causing the pain.
'All he's thinking about is Gwen,' she thought miserably, 'and all I can
think about is him.'

Ant made a well-timed entrance.
'Uh-oh' he breathed, noticing Jenna's face, the production crew too
occupied to notice as he made his way over to her and gently touched her on
the shoulder.
'Jen, maybe you should take a walk,' he suggested sympathetically.
Just then however, the song came to a close and Simon, thoughts still
occupied with Jenna, opened his eyes and fixed them unblinkingly on the
girl behind the glass.
His forehead creased, he looked puzzled and worried when he saw Jenna's
expression. Her eyes, wide and blue, with eyelashes dark and wet, were
filled with tears.
As they stared at each other, a single tear escaped and trickled down Jenna's
cheek. Giving a loud sob and bringing her hand to her mouth as if to stop
any more, Jenna turned around and ran from the room.
Dropping his headphones, Simon opened the recording room door and
dodging the sound engineer, rushed after her.
Ant uttered a few choice words as Simon catapulted out of the studio.
'That can't be good,' Ant muttered dryly as the production team turned to
look at him, obviously bewildered, 'that really can't be good.'

Chapter 15
'My song is love unknown.'
Samuel Crossman (English clergyman), 1664

Arriving out of breath on the street, Simon saw Jenna not far in the distance.
'Jenna!' he called as he ran after her.
Turning around and seeing Simon, Jenna hurried faster along the street,
impaired by the tears that were streaming down her face, blinding her as
they left wet trails down her cheeks. It didn't take long for Simon to catch
up.
'Jenna?' he said questioningly, as he put a hand on her arm to stop her.
Jenna turned around, sharply pulling her arm out of Simon's grasp.
'Leave me alone,' she hissed, her anger made sadder by the violent sob that
forced it's way out.
Hurt and puzzled, Simon spoke quietly, 'Jenna, what's wrong? You can tell
me, we're friends aren't we?'
This just made Jenna sob more, avoiding Simon's confused brown eyes.
'If that song made her think about Lee, then why can't she just tell me,' he
thought sadly, 'it's better knowing than only wondering.'
'Jenna, look at me,' Simon put both hands on each side of Jenna's trembling
face and gently directed her eyes to his.
Slowly, Jenna brought her eyes up to Simon's, which were deep and dark
brown and seemed to plead with her.
Simon looked at Jenna's eyes, bright blue and full of pain. Brushing a tear
away with his thumb, Simon bent down until his face was level with
Jenna's.
'Jen�' he said softly, tenderly even, 'just tell me what's wrong.'
Jenna just shook her head.
'I can't Simon� I'm sorry, I just can't.' Jenna sobbed, pulling away and
hurriedly walking back down the street.

Simon stared after her, velvety eyes full of hurt and face sad until the
familiar closed mask was pulled down. Turning around and about to walk
back to the studio, he bumped into Antony who had come looking for them.
'Sy, you alright? Where's Jenna?' asked Ant anxiously.
'I'm fine,' Simon replied, teeth gritted together, 'I don't know where SHE
is, and I don't care!'
Simon pushed past Ant and walked angrily back to the studio.
Further up the street, Ant caught sight of Jenna, where she had collapsed
onto a bench, unable to continue walking because of the blinding tears and
sobs that racked her body.
'Jenna, love,' Ant said gently as he neared her and sat down.
Looking up and seeing Ant's sympathetic face through a wall of tears, Jenna
put her arms around the worried lad's neck and buried her tear stained face
in his neck.
'Oh Jen,' Ant said sadly, stroking Jenna's shaking back, 'I'm sorry.'

Chapter 16
'We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we
ought to forgive our friends.'
Cosimo de' Medici (Italian statesman), 1625

'I don't believe it!' Gwen said exasperatedly, pushing back her long blonde
curls, 'one minute you're thick as thieves, next he's making you cry!'
'It wasn't Simon's fault,' Jenna protested, 'the song just made me cry, it
was stupid I know, it's you that cries at songs, not me!'
'Exactly!' Gwen exclaimed, 'so either you're turning into me or that song
meant something�and frankly I think one of me is enough.'
Jenna groaned as she put her head in her hands, 'Don't start that again
Gwen...'
'But it's true!' Gwen replied energetically, 'you two were meant to be
together, even if you're both too blind to see it.'

After the couple of days that Jenna had needed to collect her thoughts, she
had told Gwen the full version of what had happened at the studio, Gwen
having pretty much guessed the main scenario when Jenna arrived home in
tears.

'Gwen, he doesn't love ME�' Jenna debated, unwilling to tell her friend
who Simon really did like, though speaking with a note of hope in her voice
at the possibility that she was mistaken. She'd gone 4 days without seeing
Simon and still she could think of nothing else, it was completely irrational,
she thought to herself, 'I went for 21 years without him, why should that
suddenly seem to change'. Jenna didn't know which was worse, being 'only
friends' or being nothing at all.

'I still think you should go and talk to him,' Gwen advised, 'I've seen you
these last few days, moping around. Surely even just being friends with him
is better than that�and besides, my Lee's going to explode if he has to put
up with Simon sulking any longer.
'Explode?' said Jenna, secretly pleased that Simon didn't seem to be happy
either.
'Explode!' said Gwen dryly, 'and I prefer my men in one piece thankyou
very much, so go and see him.'
Jenna didn't move.
'Now!' ordered Gwen, grinning as she steered Jenna out of the front door by
the shoulders.
'Here's your bag, here's the keys, and I don't want to see you back here 'till
you've kissed and made up!' Gwen lectured.
Jenna glared stubbornly.
Putting her hands up in surrender, Gwen grinned, 'OK OK, maybe not the
kissing part, now GO!'
'How do you know he's even home anyway, they're probably working.'
Jenna replied sulkily.
'Lee of course,' Gwen giggled as she shut the door and motioned for Jenna
to go, 'insider knowledge!'

'Coming!' Simon grumbled as the doorbell rang, 'Lee, why couldn't you
get that!'
'Because I know who it is,' Lee smiled quietly to himself and then said
louder, for Simon's benefit, 'coz I'm on the phone, mate.'
Simon opened the door, jumping inside when he saw who it was. Jenna was
standing there, all cute and nervous, hair in plaits and wearing that white
fluffy jumper he liked so much. She looked anxiously up at him. How was
he supposed to stay mad when she looked like that�when she looked at
him like that, with those eyes.

Jenna nervously fiddled with a brown plaited pigtail as she rang the
doorbell, hoping half-heartedly that no one was home, and rehearsing what
she was going to say.
Seeing Simon standing in the doorway though made her rehearsed speech
disappear completely from memory.

There was an awkward silence as the two stared uncomfortably at each
other.
Jenna gave up trying to remember what she was going to say and instead
just spoke.
'I'm sorry, Simon,' she said simply, looking up at him.

Simon's face softened. Not saying a word, he stepped onto the doorstep and
wrapped his arms around her, holding her so tight that it was almost
impossible to tell where Jenna finished and he began. Jenna closed her eyes,
her cool cheek on his warm chest, listening to the even, comforting
thumping of his heart.
'Some things I'm just not ready to tell you, Simon,' she said by way of
explanation.
'That's alright,' Simon replied quietly, 'I understand.'
Breathing in the sweet smell of Jenna's hair, where his head was resting,
Simon gave a wry grin and said to himself, 'man, do I understand.'