| An Apology |
| Looking out over the East River from my jail cell and still running for Public office, I realize that I have taken several actions in my life for which I owe public apologies. It all started one morning when I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend(which will remain nameless) cheated on me....and liked it. Of course this totally pissed me off, so much that I woke up from that dream. Then I realized that my life will never be the same and I am stuck in an eternal Hell that I may never escape. Soooooooo, for some odd reason, I feel like there is no way out and fighting it will do more harm than good. That is why I shall apologize. Once, not long ago, I was with an attractive femal(which will also remain nameless) and while we were talking, my pants accidentally fell down around my ankles as I was coincidentally saying, "Ever seen one of these before?" Even though I was referring to my new Pocket Tape Memo Taker, I would like to apologize to this wonderful girl for any grief this misunderstanding might have caused her. I would also like to apologize to the Pocket tape people, to their affiliates, and to my family, who have stood by me. I would like to apologize also to International Carpeting Designs, whose carpeting my pants fell upon. I would also like to apologize to the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, for referring to its members as "colored people." My apology would not be complete if I didn't include my wife of 3 months, Jill, who is of a pinkish tint. Finally, I would like to apologize for spontaneously claiming that Erica Sebold is a whore, slut, cocksucker, or any other vile word most likely not mentioned by me. Erica is a fine person who I can say "I Knew Her Once" in public and not feel embarassed. While on the subject, I would also like to apologize to anybody who saw my webpage and was confused on Erica's well-being. She is a perfectly sane person, and I could not be any more concerned about her than the average mailman. This kind of behavior is common around the house, and we often did this sort of thing to eachother as a family ritual, sort of like saying, "until we meet again." I would also like to apologize to Ambur Turner for accidentally getting her confused with Erica. I would like to apologize to Mead paper company, for which I used to draft certain things that were mean and otherwise "not true". Now on with the campaign! |
| By Logan Edward Hudson IV |
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