| The Man Who Loved Baked Beans |
| Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them but they always had an embarrasing and somewhat lively reaction on him. Then one day he met and fell in love with a girl. When it became apparent that one day they might marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the ultimate sacrifice and gave up baked beans. Shortly after they were married, a few months later, on his birthday and on the way home from work, his car broke down. Since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because his car broke down and he had to walk home. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderfull aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had a couple of miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill effects before he got home. It was, after all, his birthday. So he went in and ordered, And before leaving he had 3 extra large servings of baked beans. All the way home he putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonbly safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed,"Darling, I have the most wonderfull surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blind fold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peak until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone he siezed the opportunity. He shifted his wieght to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRRRIIIPPPPP!!!!! It sounded like a diesel truck revving, and smelled worse. To keep from he tried fanning his arms for a while, hoping for the smell to dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows rattled and the dishes on the table shook. With the blindfold still on,when he heard the phone farwells he neatly laid his napkin on the table and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contently he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apoligizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he hadnt peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled "SURPRISE!!!" To his shock and horror, thier were 12 dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday pary. |