The social dynamics in high school were very frustrating to me. I discovered during my years as a high schooler that teenagers don't always handle diversity well. Being a wheelchair user myself, and somebody who has a substantial physical disability, I found it difficult to prove to my peers that I was just an average teenager who had the same desires and ideals as they did. I became so frustrated and angered by these impossible attitudes that I decided to speak out. In February of my junior year, I held an assembly in front of the entire school and told everybody exactly how I felt. Below is a copy of my speech. (Click here to read a newspaper article about the assembly.)
It is incredible to be up here. A year ago, I never would have thought I'd be up here. But today I am. Many of you have been right where I am now, so you know how intimidating it is. Now imagine that you're up here your first time and you have a pencil in your mouth, like a horse's bit. Sounds absurd, but that's how I talk all the time. So I need your attention for the next few minutes, so you'll understand me.
I'm going to tell you a true story. But before I do, let me tell you how much I hate pity. Pity is the worst thing in the world. It doesn't help anybody. So, please, however you feel about me after this, don't pity me. Just listen to what I say, and try to understand my message.
Okay, I decided that after 15 boring New Years at home, I was going to do something outrageous for Y2K. I decided to go to Colorado to visit my friend Kristy. My parents were not invited (obviously), and I was going to plan the trip on my own. It took 2 months of hard work. I had to find a wheelchair and a van to rent. I had to get somebody to go with me as my aide. And there were countless other arrangements to make. I didn't even tell my parents about my plan till the end. (I always love a challenge!) Sure enough, I found myself on a plane to Colorado a few days after Christmas with a 20-yr-old friend named Wil. I was there for a week, and that week was the biggest and best adventure of my life!
Why did I feel that I had to go to CO to be able to have a good New Year's? Because I knew there was someone out there who really knows me. Unfortunately, that is more than I can say for the majority of people at MHS. I've only known Kristy for 6 months-I've known some of you for 11 and a half years. And yet, I still feel like a stranger in our school. You've seen, and you've dodged me as l am swerving down the halls with my arms and legs flailing. But have you seen me, the person? I don't care what you think of my personality-I just want to make sure you know I have a personality. You're looking at a guy who wants more than anything to go out on Friday and Saturday nights. You're looking at a guy who likes Braveheart and Happy Gilmore. I am a regular teenager in every way, except for the fact that I can't control the way I talk or where my arms and legs go because my muscles are screwy.
Last fall I attended the peer leadership weekend for the first time. It was an awesome experience for me. It taught me a lot about many people and let me teach people about myself. I was encouraged by that weekend and I thought the things learned and taught that weekend would carry over into the school year. Unfortunately, things didn't change as much as I had hoped.
I came to realize I was waiting for some huge change to occur on its own. I was waiting for you to see me as an individual, and I dreamt of being in, being one of the crowd, being inside.
But the reality is that I am not inside.
I am left out.
I am outside.
And I don't like it.
And I am not alone.
There are many other people in here right now that are not 'IN' or included.
It does not feel good,
and
I am sure you would not want to be me.
FORGET PITY! FORGET GUILT! Just imagine it was you who was stuck in my body. Imagine it was you who saw and heard everything that went on around you, but was never seen and heard yourself. Try to imagine it was you who left school on a Friday afternoon knowing that the only people you were going to hang out with all weekend were your parents.
Coming out of the peer leadership weekend I promised myself I would be a leader in our school. Well, folks, this is me being a leader. Getting up here today is one of the hardest thing I've ever done, but I had to give you some idea about what it's like to be unknown in high school.
February, 2000