Putting the goggles on for the first time: The first minute after having my right eye completely plucked out and my left retina detached, I was completely shocked. I guess I had somehow convinced myself that it wouldn't be that bad, but I immediately realized I was wrong. Room 207 was fairly well-lit, so, even though I didn't realize it at the time, I could see better in there than I could for the rest of the school day. As soon as I went out into the hall, I was horrified. The fluorescent lights were awful, and the heat my face was emitting was making the little round windows I could see out of fog up. (I didn't realize this was what was happening until later, so I didn't know to unfog them; I thought it was just part of the disease.
Trying to find TA right after Soc: I had never had to rely on somebody to help me visually find my way around before. I had to ask Tania to verbally guide me into the elevator and then down to TA. I felt so helpless. I had to turn my head and line people up through one of the holes when they said hi to me in the halls. I did a lot of feeling around with my feet, as I had no depth perception When I found the doorway and finally got in the room, I was really tired from paying such close attention to where I was going. Then someone in my TA came up to me and tried to talk to me about something serious. It was then I realized how much you rely on visual cues when communicating with someone. It's hard to know if you have their attention before you start talking.
Physics:
I hugged the wall and made it from Linda MacDonald's room down to the cafeteria (very slowly!) where I met up with some classmates to do Physics. My first encounter with complex mathematics as a blind man! It was terrible. You cannot visualize parametric equations in your head without seeing them. I tried to follow the math audibly, but when you can't see graphs and formulas, it's almost impossible. It was the same in Physics class. Mr. Kasten was teaching the physics of a bicycle, and was referring frequently to an actual bicycle or the chalk board. It was almost impossible for me to follow along, and Mr. K wasn't verbally explaining any more than he normally does. It really gave me an appreciation for blind mathematicians.Getting called to the Guidance Office: After school, I got called to the Guidance Office. Melissa helped me find my way downstairs. Using the limited sight I did have, I could see that the guidance secretary was talking over me to Melissa more than she usually does. Maybe because she didn't think I could see, she didn't know where to look. I was really amazed.
Going to the mall after school: Getting into my van after school was very tricky. I always requires some maneuvering, but it was especially hard as a visually impaired driver. I did a lot of feeling around with my feet to get situated. Once at the mall, I went into Wal-Mart with my mother. I slowly navigated to the back of the store in and out of several aisles. I tried reading song titles on the back of CDs, and realized that, too, is something I take for granted. I then decided I wanted a bigger challenge. I decided to go into Record Town alone to buy a tape. I slowly made my way to the back of the store and found the artist I wanted. It was way up high so I couldn't reach it, and I couldn't read well enough to make out the titles. So I made my way to the front of the store to find an employee. This was when the communication thing was driven home for me. I didn't want to just start talking to the clerk because I couldn't really see if he had noticed me yet, and I didn't want to look like I was talking to myself. The clerk finally asked if I needed help. (Every other time I've gone to Record Town an employee has immediately asked me if he/she could assist me.) I said yes. I also immediately explained to him that I'd just had eye surgery, and that I couldn't see very well. (I didn't want him to know I could really see in case I accidentally took out a display while I was there.) We made our way to the back of the store, and he read me the titles. I almost knocked a stand over, but I was going slow enough so I was able to correct myself. I chose the tape I wanted and then got back to the counter. I asked the clerk to grab my wallet for me and take my money out (like I always do). He sympathized with me about my "surgery" and asked me when I got the goggles off. I didn't lie about that. I then made my way out of the store and back into the van.
Basketball banquet: I kept statistics for the boys' V basketball team all season, and the banquet was last night. I found my way back into the van and out again. I found the end of the ramp to the school with little difficulty, and made my way to the cafeteria. After explaining the true purpose of the goggles to several people, I took a seat almost near the end of the team table. I had one of the guys get me some food. Being 95% blind and trying to teach a teenager who has never fed me before how to feed me messy pasta was an experience I'll be hard-pressed to forget. Either I couldn't see when he was holding a loaded fork in front of my mouth waiting for me to eat it, or I had my mouth wide open when he wasn't ready for me at all. Watching me try to find my straw had to be worth a few laughs as well. After dinner, the coaches gave speeches and recognized the players. The preface my coach gave before speaking about me was, "Chates is in disguise tonight". That wasn't a very good explanation of the funny army-pilot goggles I was wearing. It only added to my embarrassment (which was good, I guess). Then I had to receive a round of applause with the goggles on. Next, John Cody got up and spoke more about my contribution to the team. He explained to everyone that I had a detached retina, not making it clear that it was a school project. There were a few gasps. He presented me with a framed picture of me with the three seniors on the team. It was really awkward to be in front of a ton of parents and to be unable to look at the picture the star of the team had just given me.
Home again:
When I got home, I had some Calculus homework to do. It's always hard to tell somebody how to draw graphs, but it's quadrupily hard when you can't see what they're drawing. It was also really hard to read the textbook. But I managed it okay. Then I wanted to see if I could still put a CD in my CD player with my headstick. I had to feel around a little more, but I did it! Then I watched NYPD Blue. Watching TV is not as fun when you have to keep the entire screen lined up through a single hole. It's a lot more tiring than it should be. I gladly went to bed after that.This morning:
I put the goggles on right after I put my contacts in. Being fed breakfast was as interesting as it was to eat dinner last night. I couldn't see the food clearly, so I didn't know when my mother had a fork dangling in front of my mouth. My mother laughed a few times (it was pretty funny). I found my way into the car which was still in our dark garage. The lighting really did make a difference. I couldn't see much color, either, so it was hard to tell what color my clothes were.In school today: I found my way upstairs to Calculus class with a small amount of guidance from Melissa. I had grown a little more accustomed to my impaired vision than I was in Physics class on Tuesday, so I was able to follow along with the teacher fairly well. I watched what she did on the overhead through one hole, and I was able to do even more math in my head than I normally do. Some kids laughed at my goggles and the way I had to spin my head all the way around to see things to my right. It taught me so much about how helpless blindness can make you feel.