June 28, 2002

I've been bored out of my mind so I've been changing the layout and every thing. But In about 10 hours I'm going to be headed to oregon for five days. hooray. I tried to put makeup on my friend Greg and he huddled in a corner and started crying. And my best friend is in Michigan... god I miss her. I'll complain about that later, now I'm going to bed. G`night!
| @imee go bye bye @ 12:25 a.m |

June 26, 2002

The past few days have been pretty intense for me. Belive it or not, I found out that I am not crazy. I am Schizotypal, and Dependent. I watched this movie called "Dony Darco" or I think thats what it was called. And compared to him I'm just an irrational overly sensitive teen. I'm practically normal.. almost..

I'm so glad I have music, its really the only thing that has saved me from plunging into darkness. But on Monday, after summer symphony rehersal my friend Patty and I were being goofy and harassing my friend Maggie. I ran over and licked all the handles on her car, then Patty went and sat on top of her car. Maggie then started freaky out and yelling at us, so I joined Patty on top of her car. Then Maggie stepped on the gas and in a matter of seconds Maggie was going too fast and we flew off the car (I swear she was going like 40 mph) and landed hard on the cement. I'm not kidding it didnt feel good. Then Patty and I lied on the ground laughing while Maggie got out of her car freaking out and yelling. We could have been killed or seriously injured, and I think thats why we were laughing. Patty was fine, I have a few abrasions on my back from sliding on the cement, but hey, no biggie right?

Yesterday I went to my teacher's house and he gave me a clarinet lesson. But all we did was play trios with this other girl that was there.. that was really fun. I also got some music I plan on playing next year for solo ensomble, the "Poulenc Clarinet Sonatta". Its going to be fun.. and now I sound like a dork. Good morning, good afternoon, and good night!
| @imee go bye bye @ 3:24 p.m |

June 15, 2002

I absolutely love how people say they're "there" for you if you "need them", but when you "need them" they ignore all your attempts of communication. So for the past three days, I've slipped into the deepest depression I've ever been in. I don't even know what to do with myself. All I do is wait for my dad to call for updates, cook, clean, and sleep. I've rarely been on the computer, I haven't even touched Ink Link in a few days...and trust me, that's bad.

But that's ok. I've never really relied on anyone before and now I know why. You cannot trust people. They fade away or get this "I'm so much better than you" attitude. And the worst one...when I talk about my dad all they do is compare my problems with their's or their relatives. Such as "oh yeah well my dad was ill last year and blahblahblah". I'm not discussing my parents divorce as a competition with someone else's family. I'm CONCERNED. Is that such a bad thing?

I mean fuck. Whatever. I don't even know.
| @imee go bye bye @ 5:56 p.m |

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