POEMS BY AUSSIEJOHN



Two in a row.




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"Trade in"


I got a car for my ex wife, the memory wont fade

Because I know it was the best deal I have ever made.


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" I Do " ( Not)


Here's a simple truth I've heard that no one can disparage.

The main cause of divorce it seems, has turned out to be marriage.


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"He's gotta go"


My uncle had this corny joke- He thought it was a winner.

He'd often tell it to my aunt, "where there is smoke there's dinner".


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"AlIi money"


"You can't put a price on love", the married ladies say

but after a Divorce . Well !!, You just watch the fellows pay.


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" Ban the bum"


Heres a certain axiom I've come across of late

"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate".


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"I say"


To rise to the occasion a Texan's not averse

to writing out his speech and then just squatting on his spurs.


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" Not a happy chappy"


If things start getting any worse then I can plainly see

that I may have to ask you to stop helping me.


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"Commitment"


The only place your likely now to find committed men

is at the local "Funny Farm" -They keep them in Ward Ten.


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"Duh"


When it comes to humour I have got a hunch,

"He who laughs last"has to be the slowest in the bunch."


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"Tea break"


A flying saucer will appear for one & all to see

when a careless nudist spills his cup of Tea.


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"Way to go"


A "Crazy Lady" at our church was often heard to moan

"Lord, lead us not into temptation, I can find my own".


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"Why"


Here's a thought i've come across that many others miss.

"Why aren't more people happy if Ignorance is Bliss?".


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"Hot-Dog"


I like cats & dogs-- so if everyone agrees

let's all get together and exchange our recipes.


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"I gave at the office"


You must pay for all your sins if from the path you've strayed.

Disregard this notice if you've already paid,


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Poems Printed with permission of author



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