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"Glendaw"
"Glendaw"
Glendaw is a poet on line chatters are aware
and in appreciation here's some words I'd like to share.
"Glen ! I've read your latest poems, and i was really smitten
I know you have the gift of gab
from all the things you've written.
Your meter is 'right on', your phrases a delight
the volume of your repertoire just kept me up all night
when your sincere, it's very clear
it comes right from the heart
i'd like to state 'Good onya mate, your master of your art' ".
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"two up"
There are 2 kinds of lawyers it's true so i wont fudge
there's those who know the law
& then there's those who know the judge.
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"Dead sure"
Kathy and her mum are walking thru the cemetery
the little girl says "mother can you answer this for me,"
"Can they bury 2 men in a single plot of ground?"
Her mother says "of course not dear"
then Kathy turns around
she says" I beg to differ mum,but i think that they can',
that tombstone says
"Here lies a lawyer and an honest man".
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"Fools gold"
If a fool and his money are soon parted as they say
how was it that he first got all that money anyway
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"Sight unseen"
A naked lady hears a sudden knock upon her door
she's headed for the shower at a quarter after four.
she says "whose there?" a voice says
"It's a blind salesman mam,
I have an offer here i'd like to show you if i can"
She thinks "Now will I let him in,i dont wish to be rude
but ,as he's blind ,then he won't mind that i am in the nude
she opens up,says "come inside".
the salesman says "How kind, i've called around to see
if you would like to buy a blind?"
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"Catnip"
If your cat is smiling and your little chick is gone
there's a chance you'll soon discover
you may have a "Peeping Tom"
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"cargo"
I had a spot of bother and a lawyer had to call
My creditors were pressing
& my back was to the wall
"We'll get you on your feet", he said
"Now just you wait & see",
And he was right, I had to sell my car
to pay his fee.
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"Irony"
Elephants are very wrinkled even though they're cute
and so it's always difficult to iron their birthday suit
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"Who am i?"
A young girl enters hospital but can't recall her name
she has Amnesia that's caused by what affects her brain.
One leg is shorter than the other, so upon her screen
the nurses tape a name card and it simply says
"EILEEN"
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"Great feat"
An inch worm was an English term but now it's been decreed
since Britain has gone metric it's now called a centipede.
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"Puppy love"
Dad gives daughter puppy that he knows she will adore
then finds her staring at a puddle on the kitchen floor
HE says "Happy birthday darling"
he should make you glad
"My pup runneth over" is her answer to her dad.
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"Pass it on"
Simians don't have E-mail they cannot get on line
so all their rumours have to pass along the old Apevine
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"Just passing thru"
Skeleton comes into pub & plops down on a chair
barman says "What can i get you while your sitting there?"
"Ill have a beer ", says bones-
"but more abuse i'd like to stop,
so while your at it could you see if you can find a mop".
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"Batter"
Alaskan News headlines in nineteen ninety three
"Baby seal walks into club" - another tragedy
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"Stoned"
Woman tells her neighbour when she meets her at the gate
"Hubby's driving me so nuts i'm starting to lose weight,
so now it's my intention to go live on my own
but i'll just hang around until i lose another stone".