POEMS BY AUSSIEJOHN



JUNE SHORTS



"Way to go"

If at first you dont succeed

in everything you do

I think that you should realize

sky-diving's not for you.


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" Mush"

The mushroom girl is happy

and here's the reason why

she found another boyfriend

who she claims is a fungi


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"Choppy"

I told the waiter, "Lamb chops,

could you make them lean tonight?"

He said "Ok sir, in which direction

Left or Right?"


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"Throw away"

Bulimic's office partys like all

others have a whirl,

the difference is you find that there

the cake leaps from the girl.


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"Flee"

A flea jumped in my bowl of soup.

I wasn't going to cop it.

The waiter hearing my complaint

said "Just tell him to hop it."


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"Sign Language"

The chinese restaurant had a sign

that we all thought was fun.

"We reserve the right to serve

refuse to anyone".


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"Double fault"

Serving pickles in ping-pong

is rather short of thrills.

You'll only find that you are in

The Volley of the Dills.


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"Radical"

If you'd like to start a movement

eat a prune a day.

Satisfaction guaranteed

and you'll be on your way.


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"Chinesey"

There is this chinese cafe

That to anyone will cater.

There is a sign above the door

that says, "Eat now-pay waiter".


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"Bindgie"

Being over weight takes time.

We know this to be true.

It doesn't happen overnight.

It just snacks up on you.


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"Nosey"

There's a rumour going round

I think it's just a gag

Michael Jackson picks his nose

but from a fashion mag.


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"Warrants"

With extended warranties

There seems to be a rule

Refridgerators never die

they simply "Lose their cool".


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"Tut-tut"

King Tut in Egypt had 8 wives

4 Better And 4 worse.

This likely is the origin

of Tutankhamun"s curse.


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"The 7 vertically challenged men"

The theme song of the 7 dwarfs

I thought you all should know

has been altered to "I owe, I owe

so off to work I go".


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"Caculation"

The sale of pocket calculators

hasn't been so hot.

Most people seem to know

how many pockets they have got.


Poems Printed with permission of author



AJ's INDEX Jan 05

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