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"Poor Polly"
A sculptor had a parrot that he kept
perched on a rock.
One day the parrot up & died
and he went into shock.
He carved a mighty statue of his pet
that weighed a tonne,
then put it on a pedestal and
called it "Polygon".
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"Low key"
I said "Dad can a thing be lost
if I know where it's at ?"
He said "course not son,
whatever made you think of that"?
"A minor accident" I said,
" But I thought you should know
I dropped our car keys down the well
about an hour ago".
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" More keys "
The Army manual clearly states
that soldiers wont get far
unless they have "Kharkis'
which they will need to start their car.
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"Well well"
My grandson's fallen down a well
were trying to work out how
That book I got on raising kids
will come in handy now
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" Hobo"
The cockney language is unique
not understood by some
for instance "Oboe" is a word
that helps describe a "Bum"
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" Eye to eye "
"Pasteurize " a french word
that is known to you & me.
It simply means something that is
" Just too far to see "
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"Taking ways"
My aunt has" Kleptomania".
It didn't help a bit
when the doc said
"Are you taking anything for it ?"
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" Lost & found "
Where can elephants be found ?
my mind this thought has crossed
but then again ,they're so darned big
they're very seldom lost.
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"He's got to go "
Charlie's boss says "Mate ,your late
it's quarter after ten,
you should have come at eight
And charles says " Why!
what happened then?"
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"Seedy"
I have a budgie with no teeth
to help him with his needs
and even though he's rather slow
he usually suckseeds.
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"Foot problem"
My cousin was arrested
for having 2 flat feet
and criminal trespass became the charge
he had to beat.
They didn't buy his alibi,
his future's looking dim.
The flat wherein they found his feet
did not belong to him.
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"Ooh Poo"
Queen victoria when young
got cow dung on her shoes
she didn't think it funny and said
" We are not amoosed "
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" Eggsactely"
Humpty dumpty had a reputation
as a clown
and everybody knew that
he was always falling down
his other interest it appears
was searching out new flora.
He'd hoped some day that he could say
That he was an "eggsplorer"
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"Return to sender"
If you say "All things are possible "
it's you I would implore
to strap on skis ,then try to pass
through a revolving door
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"New Trainer"
"There's a light at the end of the tunnel"
the optimists exclaim.
But pessimists will then reply
"It's just another train"
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