POEMS BY AUSSIEJOHN



MAY SHORTS



" I saw "

My favourite dream when I was young was that i'd be a Sage,

so I became a book worm from quite an early age.

I always had a love of books, my library was extensive ,

I ordered many heavy Tomes and some were quite expensive.

I had recourse to every source and used them one and all

till ,woe is me,my age you see ,has made the print too small.


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" Don't bring in the clowns"

Some cannibals are fussy what they put into their tummy,

they wont eat clowns because they say ,

"The meat tastes slightly funny".


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"No where"

I've come to the conclusion,that life is never fair.

It's hard to make a comeback if you've not been anywhere.


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"Responsibility"

I've always been responsible for everything i do.

Thats why I wish the Buck stopped here.I sure could use a few.


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"Old age"

It's a fact in later years,no matter when you start.

You get your head together & your body falls apart .


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"Times up"

Steve said "With my Ma-in-law I almost had a brawl,

and she said for a month she would't talk to me at all.

"That can't be bad,so why so sad? "I heard the barman say.

" No you don't understand," said Steve

"That this is the last day".


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" Hat "

My favourite place is on the net but then you all know that

Im all alone so i say " Home is where i hang my @".


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" Axe facts"

Things dont change much over time,I've often heard it said

"Even now some men still take a battle axe to bed"


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"Tax Fax"

Women doing Tax reads--Enter average income here.

so she puts--Almost mid-night would be getting fairly near.


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"Checked"

When i'm holding all the cards it pains me to confess

I still can't win because my mate's decided to play chess.


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"Home Sweet Home"

There's a lady of the night whose Motto is well known

"If I'm not in bed by 12 - I might as well go home".


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"Hangover"

I was lost at sea , that's why i missed the health resort.

The reason i turned starboard was that I'd been at the port.


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"Shorty"

There are many words mean short,but i think this one's wrong,

can you tell me why abbreviation is so long?


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"Boring"

At a boring party I said to a Twit

"Well i've had fun before but i know that this is'nt it"


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" Dad's answer"

When my kids were little they were always asking "why?"

and they were quite insistant that I give them a reply.

Then i found an answer for my daughter and her brother.

Whatever was the question I'd say "Go and ask your mother".


Poems Printed with permission of author



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