POEMS BY AUSSIEJOHN





FRACTURED NURSERY RHYMES


"Hula Fool"

I heard about this native king.

Who had a golden throne,

but he became afraid of theft

so placed it in his home.

He hid it in the ceiling

but the weight he couldn't trust.

The throne fell down

and broke his crown.

The poor old guy got crushed.

The moral of this story

Is held within these poems.

" People living in grass houses

never should stow thrones."


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"Jack & Jill "

Jack & Jill went up the hill

to see what there was in it.

Jill came down with half a crown.

They'd only been a minute.


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"Bah Bah"

Bah, bah, Black sheep

have you any wool?

Yes sir,Yes sir Three bags full

one for the tax maaaan

and one for the boss,

and one for the "Wool Bureau"

That never has a loss.


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" Eggsakly"

"Humpty Dumpty" sat on a wall.

Humpty dumpty had a great fall;

all the kings horses and

All the kings men, said

"Scrambled eggs for dinner again"


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"Slow peep"

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep

and doesn't know where to find them.

I think she's a quitter.

She's no baby sitter

and shouldn't be trusted to mind them.


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"Dye it"

"Jack spratt" could eat no fat.

His wife could eat no lean.

and therefor Anorexia

was bound to make the scene.


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"Jack's Back"

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.

Jack, jump over the candle stick.

This Jumping jack should

leave the town,

before he burns the houses down.


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"Red Tape"

There was an old lady

who lived in a shoe

The housing commission

had sure made a blue

the town city council

said "Please feel quite free

to put in a call to your local M.P.

meanwhile social service will

look for a plan.

But dont hold your breath,

'cos we dont give a damn."


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"who's there"

The other day upon the stair

I saw a man who wasn't there.

He wasn't there again today

Oh, how I wish he'd go away.


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" Thereby hangs a tail"

Three blind mice see how they run.

They can't see but sure have fun.

The Farmer's wife she stood

on a chair

and screamed blue murder

because they were there.

Then took off their tails

with a swipe of her knife

Bet you've never seen,

such a thing in your life as 3

"permanently disfigured rodents."

Poems Printed with permission of author



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