+ = + = + = + = + = +
"The con is on"
Statistics state that 98 percent of lawyers claim
their clients are not guilty and that it's just a frame.
They never fail to ask for bail when they appear in court
and get to ply their trade whenever fugitives are caught.
They 're often saying "I object", the judge is seldom fooled.
He stops their lies when he replies "Objection overuled".
Reasonable doubt from juries only seems to show
We'd like to say "they're guilty", but we'll have to let them go.
Yet lawyers help the common man whoever he may be.
That is of course providing, that you can pay their fee.
+ = + = + = + = + = +
"Fun for all"
A bloke says "Lets go out tonight and really have some fun".
His wife agrees and says , "I really think the time has come",
there's only one thing that i ask before we both are gone,
if you get home before i do then leave the hall light on."
+ = + = + = + = + = +
" A Flat "
A batchelor flat's defined as some place house plants go to die,
but there is still a spark of life and I will tell you why .
Although the bath is filthy and around the rims a ridge
You'll find theres something growing if you open up the fridge.
+ = + = + = + = + = +
"Dont axe me"
A woman went into a hardware shop to buy an axe.
She said "I'm in a hurry and it's for my husband Max".
"And did he say what size he wanted?" asks assistant Ted.
"He doesn't even know that I am getting it" she said.
+ = + = + = + = + = +
"Analyse this"
Two psychiatrists were passing in a corridor.
They were total strangers and had never met before.
One smiled and said "Good morning" as he gently tipped his hat.
The other thought " Well now I wonder, what he meant by that ?".
+ = + = + = + = + = +
"Big Al "
Al Capone goes to a shrink, he's feeling rather blue.
The shrink says "There are certain questions I must put to you".
Al sez , "You dont wanna know", the doctor says "I do".
"Swell" says Al," but if I tell I'll have to kill you too ".
+ = + = + = + = + = +
"Saving Face"
A woman has last minute nerves about her facial op.
She says "Oh doctor will it hurt, I think I'd rather stop".
The doctor says "Dont worry, you wont feel a thing until
we put you in recovery and present you with the bill".
+ = + = + = + = + = +
" Sobriety "
The patient's getting restless at the tests that take too long,
till finally the doctor says "I find there's nothing wrong,
it must be due to drinking". The guy says "Fair enough,
would it help if I came back when you have sobered up?".
+ = + = + = + = + = +
"Dr. Death"
Doctor Jack Kavorkian became a household name,
with self - assisted suicide he shot to National fame.
He became involved with those who drew their final breath.
Guess he should sign the bottom line where it says
"Cause of death"
+ = + = + = + = + = +
"By degrees"
There are many titles that have their own degree
like B.A., Dip., D.D. as you can plainly see.
But M.D. is for doctor and should never be abused
so "Mentally Deficient" is a term that's never used.