POEMS BY AUSSIEJOHN





AMUSINGS



Ding -Dong -Dell Dolle went and fell

broke some ribs & also did a lung as well

sad and sore - i bet she is glad to be back home.

but rest assured Dolle that you are not alone.

all your mates at senior chat are waiting by the door.

So they can say "Helloooo Dolly"

when you return once more.


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"Kitten on the keys" a tune that ImReen knows for sure

her pregnant cat gave birth to one & then delivered four.

A brand new keyboard is required

that seems sure enough

and then accomadation for those tiny balls of fluff.

A mouse with a computer is the normal thing ImReen

but having "cats" i find to be a little bit

extreme


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We have a guy on oz t.v

Steve Irwin is his name

and he says"Crikey" quite a lot

and really is a pain.

He wrestles crocs & chases snakes

and doesn't give 2 hoots.

He wears a shirt & shorts

and just a pair of rubber boots.

I think he has a death wish,

If a new job he won't choose

I definitely think he's gonna end up on the news.


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Now we tell the tourists

"Dont swim round our swamps,

or you may suffer one heck of a shock."

if leeches don't greet you

the mossies will eat you

or you could end up in a 20 foot Croc.

for campings not pretty

for those from the city

but theres a solution thats easy to see.

If your in a troop make part of the group

"Crikey" Steve Irwin, or "Crocodile Dundee."


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There are tales i've been told

of a Swagman of old

who camps by a river

and dances with glee

round an old sheep he stole

at the last watering hole

Singing "you'll come a waltzing Matilda with me"

As the old swaggie slept

3 state troopers crept

to his camp to arrest him for his former spree

but up leapt the swaggie and

jumped in from the river bank

"you'll never take me alive" said he

and his ghost may be heard as you

pass by that watering place

"You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me".


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Iatrogenic is a word i came across to day

it really did'nt fill me with elation

when i found out it really means

an upset that is caused

by doctors giving too much medication.

When i am rushed to hospital

the first thing that they do

is bung a canula into my arm

and then they take away my pills

and do blood tests to see

if any of them could be doing harm.

I take so many tablets that i rattle

when i walk,

my kids can hear me coming down the hall.

but here's to doctors everywhere

who do the best they can.

without them i would not be here at all.


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When people say" How are you?"

do they really want to know

i think that they are being just polite

so i say"on the ball"

to change the subject so that all

can comment on the topic for the night

I see that there are some who

like to share their aches & pains and that's their right i know you will agree

but i find talking all about the negatives in life

does not build up my positivity.

I've always found that laughter

and a sense of humor too

will see you through the darker times

----------------O K------------------

As reverend A.J leaves the building

he would like to add "and so,Thus ends the lesson for today."


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Watching T .V. does nothing for me

for I have found that

it's more fun in chat.


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"Politically correct" is such a controversial term

it intercepts our every line of thought

"Vertically challenged" is the statement that

i hear where once i used to say that i was short.

What happened to the actresses

and who's this "madam chair"

My irish jokes no longer can i tell

and God forbid that i should call a

negroid person black

nowdays i'm sure that i would burn in hell.

Oh dear i've mentioned God so now

i wonder what she'll think

the female persons(women)

all will cheer

while this Antipodean subject

(once called Aussie John)

is gonna try & make it out of here.


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If you suffer grief and long for relief

It's a comfort to know there's a place you can go

where the ladies all care

and your problem they'll share

with hugs and with love

till you rise above

that nasty old frown

that's been holding you down

when your better, you

can join with them too.

in senior net chat

is the place that it's at.


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I saw a certain c.d. game while on the net today

and it had things i wouldn't even let my grandpa play

the violence was appaling

the graphics meant for fright

it seemed to me

the aim to be "Kill everything in sight"

if juvenile delinquency

is adding to our crime

it's obvious more censorship

is needed down the line

if younger generations

soak up all this stuff today

then it's for sure another war

will soon be on it's way


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The comprehensive menu of

my local take away

has introduced me to the world's cuisine

I've tasted some delicious food

while working down the list

but there are some things that i've never seen

back end of dog & maggot soup

are two i can't abide

and indian curries that i ordered

and then put aside

a gastronomic smorgasboard

is waiting for my call

but i like steak with eggs and chips

my favourite of them all.


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Poems Printed with permission of author


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