POEMS BY AUSSIEJOHN



What's Up???



"Inspiration"

My air conditioning is on the blink.

I'm finding it more difficult to think.

The heat gets worse with

every passing day.

Looks like the drought is

really here to stay.

Sometimes I think I'll make a start

and write a poem or two.

Only to discover "inspiration"

has "shot thru".

That means in aussie lingo that

My "Muse" has fled the home.

If I write anything today

I'm strictly on my own.

With Inspiration gone and

perspiration on the way.

A block of ice would sure be nice

to finish off the day.


**************************************


"Mad poets"

If YOU write poems nice people say,

"It doesn't mean your mad".

"But it sure helps a lot",

is what the other people add.

If you called a kid a poet,

especially in our bunch.

You knew you'd get a knuckle sandwich

when you had your lunch.

But times have changed and poets

now appear to have the nod.

So i'm no longer "Mad" it seems

But only slightly "Odd".


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"Rain"

One thing we take for granted,

is the fact that we'll have rain.

With sporting fixtures cancelled

then some Aussies might complain.

But when a vicious drought occurs

we know what we require.

A teeming rain that comes again

to help put out the fire.

We're bringing kids from outback farms.

They come to see the shore

and frolic in the ocean

that they've never seen before.

Life -savers on our beaches

we proudly will retain,

as long as we can always see

that long awaited "Rain".


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"Mumps"

My grandaughter seems to be

suffering "Mumps"

Her mother said "I'm feeling down

in the dumps,

so I'll buy something new and feel

better I know". I said "Is that where you usually go?"

You'd think that by now i would

pause and then speak

I"m having the plaster removed

by next week.


**************************************


"Smile"

My dentist is a happy chap.

He has a cheeky grin.

But it is more effective

when he has his dentures in

His mate the camera man

I think, is very hard to please

The only words he seems to know

are "Everyone say "Cheese".


**************************************


"What's up Doc"

I'm taking 14 pills a day.

My doctor is a clown.

He thinks it's funny but he doesn't

have to get them down.

It's a chore I've done before.

The price that i must pay

for expectations I'll survive

to live another day.

If i complain the doctor says

"Well now let's face it mate,

I can't work bloody miracles

your past your "use by date".


**************************************


"We are not a 'Muse'd"

Some days when I write poetry

it seems I'm "on a roll."

The words just flow together

and I soon attain my goal.

But sometimes Writers-block can

come and stop me in my tracks.

I'll waste the day then have to say

"I've nothing here to Fax".

But I shall not be beaten

I'll soldier on no fear

till "Crikey, Ripper, Bewdy mate"

another one is here.


**************************************


"Old timers disease"

As my life span shortens

I find I've often said

"The greatest pleasure I have left

is going off to bed."

While downing pills to stop my ills

I cannot misbehave.

My razor has gone rusty

'Cos now i never shave.

My exercise is limited to

one length of the Mall.

No jumping to conclusions now

in case I have a fall.

I used to say "I'll live to be

a 100 'fore I die."

but that was way back then

a better question now is "Why?"


**************************************


"Welcome aboard"

In Aussie land I've heard a rumour,

We are upside down

so we must all be smiling

otherwise we'd have a frown.

The tourists love the way we're

always saying "g'day mate

and "Ow ya goin?" is another

that they think is great.

If you reply in kind we know

your "Dinkey di true blue".

You graduate from "aussie mate"

now your our "Cobber" too

They say we are a friendly mob

who'll help a man who's down

but if you do us dirt

then you'll be run right out of town.

The "little aussie battler"

will always get a hand

and once you are adopted

you'll be welcome in our land.


**************************************


"To be or not to be"

Now weather is a science

that we have'nt quite perfected.

When hurricanes still come along

and leave us all dejected.

A coin held out a window

with a thumb about to flip.

Makes me question whether weather

bureaus have a grip.

The siren sounds it's mournful dirge

Forever and a day

and then the news forcaster says

"It's gone another way"

'Will snow knock down the power lines

or traffic cease to flow?"

If your guess is as good as mine

then how are we to know?


**************************************



POEMS BY AUSSIEJOHN





(ALSO: Please see page links below the poems)


Mixed Lot of Random Thoughts


"RoadRage"

"Split Second,"Here's a definition recently I've seen,

that leaves me feeling just abit forlorn.

"The time it takes in traffic,

when the lower light turns Green,

to when the guy behind you blasts his horn".

My reaction to this act is not to be obscene,

I simply put my car in LOW,

and then depart the scene.

This form of retribution really

fills me with elation.

For I have made my comment

on another man's frustration.


= ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ =


"The Mall"

I like going to the mall,

the air -conditioning's free,

and supermarket shopping

has a strange appeal to me.

Variety's the spice of life

so every week I go,to K-mart

Crazy Clarke's ,and Coles.

We even have Bi-Lo.

With presentation,layout and decor,

I have no squabble, but

why do supermarket trolley

wheels all have to wobble?

The Parking is quite adequate

enough for one and all.

And they're the reasons I believe

in shopping at the mall.


= ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ =


"Train Trial"

I took a train the other day,

my car refused to start.

I bought my platform ticket

and then waited to depart.

My personal space felt threatened

with so many in my zone,

for I was more accustomed

to being on my own.

The carriage was quite crowded.

Seemed each person had a cough.

With jerky stops & starts

my equilibrium was off.

The smell was most unplesant.

The graffiti looked quite drab.

And should this happen one more time

I vow "I'll catch a cab".


= ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ =


"Bust"

We have a local bus-stop

that is just across the street.

and sometimes I take one into the city.

It saves me paying parking fees

that cost an arm & leg

and floral suburb streets

are rather pretty.

A meter space is hard to trace

It's difficult to pick it.

and traffic wardens love to lurk

to issue you a ticket.

The bus fare is most reasonable

(especially pension rate),

but bus times are erratic

and occasionally run late.

If the bus gets crowded

then you sometimes have to stand

and eating food and smoking are

the two things that are banned.

But with the air-conditioning

You'll really think you've scored.

"Dont make a fuss-Get on a bus"

Your comfort is assured.


= ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ =


"Handy Andy"

My local hardware guy's a beaut,

and I hold him in awe

He always "comes up trumps,"

no matter what i ask him for.

A tiny bulb (a pilot light)

that shines within my fridge.

3 planks of wood so that I could

complete the garden bridge.

Two toilet washers for the

cistern,special ones at that,

and even kitty litter that I

needed for the cat.

It's getting far more crowded

when i step into his store

for many say" This is the way,

to what we're looking for".


= ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ =


"Twelve + 1"

"Triskaidekaphobia"

A fear that people have

about the number we

all call "thirteen".

It's a superstition and

it indicates bad luck,

occuring when it comes

upon the seen.

Some hotels dont list it

when you reserve a room,

and gamblers detest it

saying it amounts to doom.

it's ominous beginnings

are said to be the time

when "Jesus' and the twelve apostles,

all sat down to dine.

Walking under ladders

and seeing black cats too.

This only seems to matter

if it's pertinent to you.


= ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ =


"Fugue" I finish off my evening work

and then right after that.

I look for relaxation so

I go onto the "Chat"

I'm sitting and I'm noticing

a nodding of my head.

I think I'd probably be better

going off to bed.

My chin is resting on my chest,

I've felt like this before.

The heavy breathing earlier

has now become a snore.

Some people claim I'm in a "Fugue"

but this I cannot see

because my "Honda Civic"

is the only car for me.

Regardless of who first said "Fugue"

I'll claim it for my own,

and then incorporate it

when I'm working on a poem.

Unusual words intrigue me

and so I always seek

to "Have a ball', with one I call

"The best word of the week".


= ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ =


"Pandermonium"

Pandermonium appears when

logic leaves the scene,

and anarchy results until

authority is seen.

I love to work with words

they give the "Harmony I seek.

so it's a bit ironic I chose

this one for the week.

I thought it meant a bear's piano

now I know it's din, confusion, and

a little bit of chaos thrown in.

The Dictionary is a fertile source

of lengthy words.

But using a Thesaurus

is best left to the Nerds .


= ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ =


"Diary"

I keep a running "Diary",

and remember every day

to enter information on

what things have come my way.

I record appointments and

the times that they are made.

And reocurring dates on which

utilities are paid.

These constitute reminders

that help in every way.

as long as I recall

"Where did I put that book today?"


= ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ = ^ =


"De-ja Vu."

Because I've lived so many days,

and all these things I do.

it's not unnatural I suppose

to suffer "De-ja Vu".

The phone rings, and I know my

daughter Jan just wants to chat.

I pick up-it's her-and I think

"How did I know that?"

I greet a stranger in the street

and feel "Now, I am sure "

that on some past occasion

we have both met up before.

I think "I'll turn this corner,

and then a bus I'll spy,

I turn, and then I see

a double decker passing by.

You say "It's all coincidence

your talking through you hat.'

I just smile, and then reply

"I knew that you'd say that".

Poems Printed with permission of author



AJ's INDEX Jan 05

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