"Bargain"

The definition of a bargain

is as some insist.

"something you don�t need

at a price you can't resist".


"Birdsong"

Here's some words of wisdom

that I knew all along

a bird does not sing because

it has an answer

but because it has a son.


"The Brook"

If your feeling down and out

from suffering hard knocks,

know "The brook would lose it's song

if God removed the rocks".


"Harold"

I'm in trouble at our church

they say I am to blame

'Cos I said "Our Father

who art in heaven

Harold be thy name".


"A Camel"

Here's an explanation

that I thought rather witty.

A Camel is a horse

that's been designed

by a committee.


"Wordsworth"

A careless word can kindle strife

A cruel word can wreck a life

A timely word can level stress

A loving word can heal and bless.


"Dark glass"

I worked hard all my life

to obtain a good position

now I wear dark glasses

to avoid my recognition.


"Secret"

I told the vicar at our church

when he said "Saints preserve us"

I'm in the army of the Lord

but it's the secret service.

"Diplomacy"

A diplomat said to his wife

when she was being colder

"I forgot your birthday 'cos

You don't look any older".


"Flee"

Here's a word of warning

that I think you should know

A dog at a flea circus

will most likely steal the show.


"Dad"

When I became a father

it was plain to see

I now carried pictures

where my money used to be.


"Fine"

When it comes to money

here's a tale I tell.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong

A tax is a fine for doing well.


"U.F.O"

A saucer landed at a desert store

to get some gas

the pump attendant standing there

was really quite aghast.

"What's UFO stand for", he wondered

and then sighed.

"Unleaded fuel only"

The traveler replied.


"Tap"

Being a tap dancer

is dangerous I think,

there always is the chance

that you may drop into the sink.


"Lot"

Lot was told by God

just take your wife and flee.

I know that she turned into salt

but what about the flea.


" 'Puter"

A computer once beat me at

Chess and Housie- Housie

but when it was kick boxing

it was absolutely lousy.

Poems Printed with permission of author

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