" Valentine's time "

Valentine's day is when you all say

those sweet words that you

Would normally eschew.

Or if your a bard you could pen them a card,

or send an E-mail with a delicate tale,

as well here's a hunch, a" Forget me not" bunch".


" Tradition"

The origins of Valentine are hidden in the mists of time,

But some traditions last it's true

and here's the thing that you should do.

Advise your lover in some way,

that you are their's this special day.


" choco"

Valentine's a friendly time

when lovers all get kissed,

but if you want to stay in shape.

cross chocolate off your list.


"Wife strife"

What can be nicer than getting E-mail

That says "Your the love of my life".

Your heart skips a beat

you think that's really neat,

then you see its been sent by your wife.


"Cards"

What can I say about Valentine's Day

that hasn't been mentioned at all.

When sentiments merry come each February,

on cards that you buy at the mall.

Then poetry's heard supplied by some Nerd

all sickly and sweet and a pain.

We say it's a rort and that we've been caught

and then we all do it again.


"Die it"

Chocolates are a big no-no

for girls on diets dont you know

just send a card with message too,

and use those 3 words "I love you".


"Who's who?"

Send a gift to make it clear

that Valentine's day now is here.

A box tied with a big red bow

to please your favourite so and so.

But to confound them in this game

just forget to sign your name.


"Stooge"

To keep the wit in chat room

I have to start out early.

I do the work of 3 men now

"Larry , Mo and Curly"


" Baby Bob"

Steve Irwin still is full of smiles

as he feeds his crocodiles.

But he should get another job

that won't involve his baby bob.

Steve said the only thing he did

was just so he could teach his kid.

For pity's sake that tiny tot

at one month old won't learn a lot

but it's just the thing that Steve will do

to gain attention for his zoo.

His daughter Bindi now aged 5

is used to handling snakes alive.

But it is not a pleasant sight

when she recieves another bite.

Their mother Terri (that's Steve's wife)

says " That is how we live our life".

if you don't like it that's too bad".

but I think that it's all so sad,

as Steve claims he's a Super dad.

So, before it is too late

I think that you should wake up Mate.


" Spooky"

I know you have a problem

and I can plainly see,

that you are only jealous

'cos the voices talk to me.


" Missing inaction"

My prostate op has put a stop

to rumours,and I vow

I'm not a complete idiot

Some parts are missing now.


"When ya gotta go"

Religious difference was the thing

that caused my ex to trot.

She said I thought that I was God

and-- that she did not.


"Way to go"

There's a rumour going round

I say there's nothing in it.

I dont suffer from insanity

I'm lovin every minute.


"Getaway"

Don't take life too seriously

Don't live in overdrive.

According to statistics,

You won't get out alive


Poems Printed with permission of author
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