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Santa Sucks |
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"Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane!" Wait, what the hell? Since when did Santa live on "Santa Claus lane"? Santa lives in the north pole, period. Done. End of discussion. There's no such thing as "Santa Claus lane", assholes. While we're on the subject, why does Santa own so much stuff? His own holiday, his own "lane", a whole freaking month basically, elvish slaves, a workshop....why does this wrinkly old bastard own so much stuff? I'll tell you why, it's because he's a power-tripped asshole, that's why. "I make toys, and if you aren't good, you don't get any". What a selfish pussy. He doesn't even MAKE the toys he gives, because he's got elvish slave labor. That's why he's such a fat bitch, because he just sits on his lazy fat ass while the elves do all the work, whining to Mrs. Claus to make him so more food. I think it's high time that there was an elvish revolt and Mrs. Claus filed for divorce. Then he'd be one lonely old man. Serves him right. Also, why does this fat, ugly, wrinkly, asshole control Christmas? I say Lobo should take over Christmas. Why? Because Lobo kicks serious ass. Once, Santa tried to step to Lobo, and Lobo RUINED HIS SHIT. |
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This is a picture of Santa getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter with all the trimmings. |
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Here's how it would happen: Lobo's just chillin', playing video games, when all of the sudden, Santa comes along and does what Santa does best. Bitch. So, Santa comes to scream and bitch at Lobo about how naughty he's been, while in mid-sentence, Mr. Santa gets a drop-kick to the neck. It happend so abruptly, that it tore Santa's windpipe. Since Santa couldn't breathe anymore, Lobo, being the genius he is, makes good use of Santa's lungs. He busts open Santa's chest, rips out his lungs, and sews them onto himself to house his undoubtedly huge balls. Yeah, pretty sure if Santa and Lobo fought, Lobo would work him. Totally. Anyway, back to how much Santa sucks. The thing that pisses me off most about santa is this: HE'S NOT REAL. People who claim to be real that aren't really piss me off. Also, Santa is old and I hate old people. I also hate people who believe in Santa, which in turn boosts his already enormous ego. Why do I hate them? 1. They're all kids 2. Kids suck balls. Santa sucks. That's all there is to it. |
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432625 people believe in Sants...they need to be caned |
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Back to how much I rule... |
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