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| Constellations Suck My Sack | |||||||||||||||||||
| Let's take a vote. Who here reading this now gives a damn about constellations? If you said yes, go play in traffic. If you said no, go drown yourself. I hate you either way. Go away. Anyway, about constellations: they are such bullshit. Some dumbass grabbed 3 stars out of the sky and put together the most detailed picture of a man holding a sword in the air, including chest hair. | |||||||||||||||||||
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| Does anyone see a brooding warrior screaming a battle cry with his arm raised in victory? I don't (but that big purple dot between his supposed "legs" looks like a penis. Haha, that's funny) | |||||||||||||||||||
| Holy shit, how tripped out on acid would you have to be to see stuff like that? This is the history of constellations: A bunch of tokers were smoking crack one night, played grab ass for an hour outdoors, got tired and plopped down on the grass, and saw a bunch of lame ass pictures in the sky and gave them stupid names. I actually own a constellation. One day, after smoking a fresh bowl of wacky tabacky naked in my room, I was looking at my thigh. It has four dark freckles on it, somewhat resembling this: | |||||||||||||||||||
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| Guess what it is? It's a bison. I named it Bisor. The two top freckles are the tips of it's horns and the bottom left is it's hoof and the bottom right is it's other hoof, but the only reason the right one is higher is because it's in the middle of a trot (think of it as a frontal view of a bison trotting towards you). I can see all the detailed hair and fur and facial features on this bison just because of these four dots. If you can't see it, you suck. I rule. | |||||||||||||||||||
| 354762 astronomers quit their job after I ruined their shit | |||||||||||||||||||
| Back to how much I rule.... |
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