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| A Tribute To Captain Blackbeard, A Fearsome Pirate That Ruled The Seas | ||||||||
| Oh man, Captain Blackbeard is the coolest man ever. Me, Blackbeard, Saddam Hussein, and Alfonse Capone are going to throw a party in the afterlife and no one's invited. Maybe Hitler can come. If he wasn't such a pussy he'd be invited to more parties. Anyway, back to Blackbeard. Let me share with you a brief history of Edward "Blackbeard" Teach. Edward Teach was born near Bristol, England in 1680. Not much is known about his childhood, but in 1713 he was a trusted pirateer (basically a legalized pirate that stole from ships who were enemies of the country, or country's they were at war with at the time. Pirateers were sponsered by the government.) of a man named Benjamin Hornigold's crew. After the war, the government discontinued funding for pirateers, so Hornigold became a pirate, and asked Edward to be one of his lieutenants. He gladly accepted, and after sailing for some months, Teach requested that Hornigold named Teach captain of a recently captured ship. Teach had showed that he was a great pirate, so Hornigold agreed. Once the ship was his, he named it Queen Anne's Revenge, added 20 guns to the ship, making a total of 40 guns and cannons, and renamed himself "Captain Blackbeard". Okay, think about that ship for a second. 40 GUNS. That is one bad ass ship. Soon after they had started their pirate ways, Hornigold left in search of a pardon to all pirates in the area that was being offered. But Teach was hungry for blood, and he had just started. Blackbeard's reign of terror lasted for 2 years, all spent killing, robbing, and sinking ships. After Queen Anne's Revenge sank, he took another massive ship from his fleet and sailed toward Bath, North Carolina, finally taking advantage of another pardon, from a Governer in the area. But one man wanted Blackbeard's head, and he soon got it. On November 22nd, 1718 Governer Spotswood, a man who wanted Blackbeard dead, leased two sloops (small, one sailed boats) with British captains and crew. One of the sloops, captained by Lt. Robert Maynard, sailed toward Blackbeard's ship, taunting Blackbeard to fight. A mighty gun battle ensued, and Blackbeard destroyed the crew. What Blackbeared didn't know, was that Maynard and loads of crewman we're hiding below the deck. So Blackbeard climbed aboard the sloop with half a dozen crew members, in search of gold or other valubles. While on the sloop, he was suprise attacked by the men below deck. The battle that unfolded is one of the greatest pirate battles of all time: | ||||||||
| Blackbeared killed nearly a dozen men with his sword, until finally reaching Maynard himself. They both immediately drew pistols and shot each other on site. Blackbeard missed, but Maynards bullet tore right through Blackbeared's chest. Unfazed, Blackbeard threw down his pistol and engaged in a sword fight with Maynard. During the battle, over 5 more of Maynards crewman joined the battle eager for Blackbeards' kill. He fought off six men, killing four which left Maynard and one of Maynards' best crewman. The man took a slash at his throat, slitting it, and Blackbeared said, "That was a good one, lad" and kept fighting. Finally, the crewman said "If that one is no good, then pray this one will be" and cut off his head. So after 20 sword wounds and five bullets to the chest, Edward "Blackbeard" Teach fell to the bloody deck. Maynard took his head, and hung it on the bowsprit of his boat (a large pole jutting off the front of the boat), to show citizens that the reign of terror was over, and to help prove his death when he requested his 100 pound prize money for Blackbeards' head. | ||||||||
| Is that not proof enough that Blackbeared totally kicked ass? If not, then you're a dipshit. A MAN SLIT HIS THROAT AND HE TOLD HIM THAT IT WAS A "GOOD ONE"! 5 bullets to the chest, 20 SWORD WOUNDS. Damn, what a tough son of a bitch. Here are some sweet facts about Blackbeard, about how truly frightening he really was: Blackbeard was huge, roughly 6'4, muscular with broad shoulders. Huge black beard, sometimes braided before battle. Always laiden with wepons. He was always armed with a cutlass, several daggers and had a large leather strap over his shoulder, sometimes holding 8 - 10 pistols at a time. |
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| Page 2 of Blackbeard awesomeness | ||||||||