QUESTION EVERYTHING!
"When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous" -unknown
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
Who really took the bite out of the Apple logo?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities its schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
"Cute as a button" Since when are buttons cute?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus
Consciousness- that annoying time between naps
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay
Sticks and stones are hard on bones,
aimed with angry art
words can sting like anything,
but silence breaks the heart... -Phyllis mcgenlee
Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. -- Carl Jung
Suicide Hotline� Please Hold�
Life is all about ass: kicking it, covering it, kissing it, or trying to get it
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
Rules are not valid because the Senate passed them, or heroes once played by them, or because God pronounced them through Jesus or Mohammed. Rules are valid only if and when players freely play by them.
Why do phone companies give you a number to call if your phone doesn't work?
How come you press harder on a remote when you know the battery is dead?
How come superman can stop bullets with his chest but he always ducks when someone throw a gun at him?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns do the rest have to drown too?
Why does the minute hand on school clocks always click backward before advancing?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
If you can't drink and drive why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?
Does the little mermaid wear an algaebra?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive up ATM?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?
If the cops arrest a mime do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If vegebile oil is made from vegitables and corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?
If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If you choke a Smurf what color would it turn?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
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