A Spell to Make Time Fly.
1. Take your clock outside.
2. Hold the clock like a frisbee.
3. Spin in a circle three times, then release the clock.
4. Watch time fly! Wasn't that fun!
Spell to Turn Day Into Night.
1) Stand facing a large tree or wall.
2) Close eyes tightly.
3) Keeping eyes closed, run straight ahead as fast as you can.
Spell to Communicate With Pink Elephants
1) Pour glass of vodka or alcoholic drink of choice.
2) Drink.
3) Repeat steps 1-3.
Spell to Attract Lightning.
1) Cover yourself in metal: jewelry, chains, golf clubs, nails, nuts & bolts, hubcaps. etc.
2) Go out into a thunderstorm and hold a long TV antenna high in the air.
3) Wait.
Spell to Control Others.
1) Walk into the middle of a large group of people.
2) Yawn.
Spell to Make Your Computer Fast
1. Open Window.
2. Throw Computer out window.
(If computer hit ground really fast, the spell worked.)
A Spell to Attract a Feline Familiar.
1. Leave open can of tuna on your door step.
2. Repeat as many nights as necessary.
3. See how many familiars come to you.
Spell to attract visitors or phone calls
1. Make coffee.
2. Sit in a comfortable chair with a good book.
3. Put your feet up.
4. Bring coffee cup to lips.
5. The event should happen before the coffee actually touches your lips.
Variation on above Visitor Attraction Spell
1. Run nice hot, scented bath.
2. Switch on relaxing music and light candles.
3. Get in bath.
4. Voila! Your visitors have arrived!
Spell to Get Rid of Unwanted Visitors (now they've got here!)
1. One hour before they arrive eat a large bowl of red beans and rice.
2. Let the good times roll.
Spell to bring customers into a shop.
1. Stand behind counter.
2. Think silently to your self: there's no one in here, so I'll do {whatever}
3. Walk away from counter to mop, sweep, or do whatever else.
3. Watch people rush to the counter!
Repeat this as often as needed!
Spell To Tell What The Weather Is Like.
1. Open window.
2. Poke head outside.
3. Look around (it is at this point you receive your answer).
Another spell to Attract Lightning.
1. Stand on top of mountain during a thunderstorm in your best chainmail with your best ceremonial sword.
2. Place feet in ceremonial copper bowl filled with salt water (for purity).
3. Now yell at the top of your voice that all the gods are b*%#ards while holding your sword aloft.
