BAD LUCK CHARMED
by
Greg Chew

Synopsis: Zack has been experiencing bouts of bad luck ever since his little tiff with Orlando. Not only that, his powers have been a little off lately. When his bad luck jeopardizes the Power of Three, a mysterious Whitelighter from the future comes to their rescue. However, the Charmed Ones’ are not impressed with his work ethics. Meanwhile, while trying to figure out Orlando’s behavior, Zane is given some unfavorable news from the future.
Disclaimer: Contains homosexual content. Proceed at your own risk. The actor, Orlando Bloom, is neither a gay nor mutant. So there! I have zero experience in writing 'controversial' stories, so the writing will seem infantile for this chapter.

 

Inna sat atop a credenza and gazed down upon at the witches with no particular interest. After losing her physical being in the midst of a fierce battle between two clans of shamans, her soul escaped, ascending from her body like wisps of smoke from a wooden pile.

A wind she’d become, and a city of machines she’d escaped to. Inna’s physical being may have been marred, but her power to affect human destiny had not been diminished. Along with many others, she had been born to balance the goodness and darkness in the existing world, and even though she’d lost her body, Inna was still dedicated to her duty, determined to serve the witches of light.

She watched as the woman picked up the infant and cradled it in her arms, patting it lightly on the back and jokingly covering its ears. "You hear no evil, okay?" The woman who could teleport herself picked up the baby’s drinking bottle and proceeded to feeding it.

The telekinetic turned to her. "I’m telling you, Zoe. The man’s weird!" His gray-blue eyes fell on the bedroom door, as if afraid someone might overhear them. "I mean, okay, so he kissed me. I mean my cheek. Oh God. Okay, so maybe he was just being polite, but what’s up with all the lip thing and the flirting?" He wrapped his arms around himself and shuddered visibly.

"Zane, don’t you think you’re reading a little too much into it?" The woman wiped some dribbling milk off of the baby’s face with a napkin.

The man frowned. "I don’t know. I just… I don’t know."

Inna drifted off, noting that the man was in a situation he’d rather not tell anyone. She swept through the slit underneath the bedroom door and, once outside, she hovered in the air for the moment and shimmered, sensing for the object of the witches’ topic.

It didn’t take long. Aware of approaching footsteps and voices, Inna eased herself into the empty space of another bedroom door further down the hall. Settled in the cramped space, Inna watched and waited.

 

"That is not what happened and you know it."

"That's exactly what happened – and it's not the first time it's happened, either."

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"You know what, Zack? Just forget it."

"Don’t walk away from me! Who do you think you are? Orlando! Orlando!"

Zoe’s bedroom door opened and she stuck her head out, just as Orlando Bloom came round the corner, with her brother Zack in tow. He looked choleric. "I thought I heard yelling," she muttered to Zeke, who was dozing off in her arms.

"I am talking to you!" Zack barked.

"Shut up," Orlando retorted. "I’m sick and tired of you mocking me in front of all of your friends!"

Zack looked offended. He opened to his mouth to yell, but upon seeing Zoe and Zane listening by the corridor, he reined in his anger. "When have I ever mocked you?"

Orlando stopped and spun around. He stepped up close to Zack, sizing him up, radiating white-hot fury. "You always mock me," he hissed. "I work my butt off around here. I gave up my job and my career so I can help you guys out, but I get no respect for it. None!" His face was turning a shade of red.

"I never asked you to give up your career!" Zack roared, rolling his eyes in disbelief of the accusation.

"The hell you didn't!"

Zane bit his lip while watching the two fight. He’d never seen the both of them so upset. What’s going on? He looked up in surprised when Zack shot, "You’re right, I didn’t!" and turned to them and asked, "Did I?"

Zack was looking for sibling support, and Orlando picked it up immediately. "Oh right," he taunted in a nasal voice. "Turn to them for support like you always do."

Zack jerked back in disgust. "Oh, what? So now you have a problem with them, too?"

Orlando wheeled around and stomped off in the other direction. "No!" he shouted. "I have a problem with you!" With that he entered his bedroom and slammed the door shut in Zack’s face.

Zack recoiled, a look of utter shock and rage splayed visibly across his face. "What the --" He threw up his hand. "Who the hell do you think---" Sheer cold shivers of magic coursed through his body and before he could finish, the door exploded, throwing him backwards.

Zane and Zoe yelped variations of Holy Jesus. Zeke screamed bloody murder.

Zack looked up at the door and flinched. The entire door and the surrounding walls were completely wasted. What left of them now were pieces of broken wood and plaster lying on the floor.

On the other side of where the door used to be crouched Orlando. He first stared at the damage, then at Zack. He looked like he’d just seen a ghost.

 

 

Zane was in that splendid stage where you wake up but you don't open your eyes, so that you feel like you're still asleep and you're so warm and safe and cozy...

He frowned slightly when he realised that he’d drooled quite badly in his sleep last night. His pillow was wet and smelly with his saliva. He sighed, thankful that at least no one was here to see that.

Smiling like a simpleton at the thought of the little embarrassment avoided, he opened his eyes and stretched… And found Orlando’s face less than a foot away from his.

"Ahh-whoa-ow!!" Zane spun backward in the fashion of a neophyte ballet dancer, falling right off the bed and ended up in a tangle of sheets on the floor.

"Oh God!" Orlando yelped and threw himself clear over the bed as Zane tried to untangle himself. Unfortunately, the moment he’d managed to free his legs, Orlando came crashing down onto him, his legs landing on either side of Zane’s hips, pinning him down.

Zane blinked up at him from between two folds of sheet. "Do you mind? I'm not a horse."

"Shit! Are you all right?" Orlando said in quick succession, his eyes looking so genuinely contrite that one may actually feel sorry for him. He pushed his long fringe out of his eyes and chuckled. "I'm sorry. I didn’t expect that you’d have such a huge reaction."

"Haha, very funny. Other than that I’m fine." Zane was suddenly really, really aware of Orlando’s legs straddling his hips. Orlando shifted slightly, and Zane froze when he felt the actor’s thighs press against him. He bit his lip, swallowing nervousness, and then cleared his throat. He motioned, nodding his head at their awkward position. "All good relationships don’t start this way."

"Relationship?"

Crap! What did I say? Think, brain, think! "Uh, friendship!" Zane gave a smile. A smile that was a dead giveaway that he was really nervous. In fact, he was on the verge of panicking. On the verge? He thought. Try ‘already’. "Yeah, that’s it! I meant ‘friendship’."

"Shh," Orlando whispered, grinning. "I think I know what you meant." He stroked Zane’s left cheek, and tilted his head up to meet him. "I know exactly what you mean." His head drifted closer, and before Zane had time to figure out whether he was suffering from a concussion or reality was actually setting in, the confusion was over.

Orlando Bloom, with his hands gently caressing his cheek and his back, leaned down and pressed his lips fully against Zane’s.

Zane froze. He instinctively pursed his lips together, forbidding entrance, and turned his head away. He was met with a firm yet gentle resistance, as Orlando slowly guided his lips back to his and blew soft kisses across them.

Zane had never experienced anything like it. No one in the entire history of the universe had ever kissed him like that. Ever.

Orlando’s lips pressed against his, prying his mouth open. His tongue slid into his mouth, flicking and sliding against his own before wrestling with it for supremacy. His lips felt like twin flame.

Zane literally felt himself melt against him. He reached up and slid his hands through Orlando’s hair as he continued to caress his back.

My name will go down in history if someone ever finds out about this, Zane thought. Suddenly afraid, Zane pulled his face away abruptly. Orlando snapped back up in surprise, with predictable results.

Zane’s head sailed through the air and hit the carpeted-but-still-pretty-bloody-hard floor for the second time that morning.

BONK.

"Ow!" He was going to start losing brain cells at this rate. He reached up a hand to rub the sore spot on his head, and stopped.

Orlando, bizarrely, plucked himself away from him and was up and running. But either at some point he'd forgotten that he couldn't walk through walls or he'd just gone utterly mental, because he took the closed door at a run and collided with it with a resounding ‘wham’.

Zane blinked and stared after Orlando with a look of utter confusion. Just mere seconds before he'd just experienced the hottest kiss of his life before being dropped unceremoniously onto the floor, and now the same person who’d kissed him is trying to charge his poor innocent door into mulch.

"W-what the hell is going on?" he stammered.

"I'm sorry," Orlando mumbled, not looking at him. "I better get back to my room." He took a couple of staggering steps, and started to open the door.

Zane frowned. He was not going to be left without an explanation. It’s gone on far too long. But before he could reinforce the door with his telekinetic powers, the door clicked shut and Orlando was gone.

He quickly scurried to his feet and followed, but as soon as he’d reached Orlando’s room, the door slammed shut and the sound of the lock snapping in place was heard.

Now, this is the point where several other people may have burst into tears and run back into their rooms, grabbing their teddy bear and writing pages and pages of why-doesn't-he-love-me’ nonsense in their journals.

Not Zane.

There was skullduggery of some sort going on and he was determined to figure out what it was. He rapped sharply on the door. "Mr. Bloom? I have a package here from a Mr. Way Confused, if you'd like to sign for it?"

"Zane, uh… look, I'm sorry but can we just leave it for now?"

"No, we can’t."

"Well, I'm not coming out."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIIVE, WITH THE SOUND OF –-" The door unlocked and swung open. Orlando stared at him with his wide brown eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked incredulously.

 

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1