“I’m sorry,” the tailor apologised.

“No, it’s okay, I understand,” Robert sighed.

“I just can’t let any of your suits out any more. You’re just getting too… ahhhh…”

“Yes, fat. It’s okay, you can say it,” Robert finished. “Surely I’m not your first client to let success go to his waist?”

“Well, yes, of course I have. But none as quickly as you have. You were in such fine shape, you wore suits so well, it was a pleasure… well, it still is a pleasure… to do your suits. What’s happened?”

“You got kids?”

“Yeah.”

“Remember when your wife was pregnant?”

“Blocked it out,” the tailor gave Robert a knowing grin.

“Ever hear of ‘sympathetic pregnancy’?” Robert asked.

The tailor looked at Robert and sort of raised his eyebrow. Robert realised he was trying to decide if he was being serious or pulling his leg.

“Seriously, it’s a condition where a husband gets to enjoy many of the ‘perks’ of pregnancy that his wife is going through. Hormones go out of whack, joints get achy, you now all that stuff they bitch about? It’s happening to me. That’s right, even the whole weight gain thing. But it’s only another month, then I’ll slim right down again.

“But until then, can you cut my suits… ah… a little generously?”

“Sure thing. I love a challenge!”

Marlene was meeting with Peter, the man who was going to be replacing Wendy during her maternity leave. Peter had worked with Wendy for a year now, and was ready to fill her shoes. In fact, he was eager to do so.

“Look at her. She's become a fat pig. Is that really the image you want for the company? She's always eating now, what if a client comes in right after she's spilled? Or if she splits her skirt again? You've seen the bulges, it's pretty soon coming!”

“Well, she's still doing a good job. And I certainly can't make her leave, certainly not on those grounds.” Marlene thought about it for a moment. “I'll see what I can do though.”

Wendy walked into Marlene’s office and slowly sat down. This far along she hated standing up and sitting down. Either was okay, but the transition was murder on her hips! She had apologised to Marlene for her actions a month earlier, and Marlene said she understood. Of course, the childless beanpole couldn’t possibly understand, but that was neither here nor there. It was time to focus on this week’s status meeting.

“I think you should consider starting your maternity leave early Wendy.”

Wendy was dumbstruck. Why did Marlene hate her so much?!

“Look, it’s not that you’re doing a bad job. It’s just that, your focus isn’t there. It’s not hurting any body yet, but do we want to wait until it is a problem?” Marlene continued.

“So you’re saying that I’m doing a good job, and should quit while I’m ahead?”

“Well, I suppose, yes. You don’t want to spend the next 6 months kicking yourself for doing something silly when you don’t have to, do you?” Marlene offered.

“I'll think about it. But, you know, I really do like working here. I'd hate to just sit around the house all day. I'll let you know by the end of the week what I'll be doing.”

Robert got home from work and called out to Wendy like he normally did. She used to bound to the door to give him a hug and kiss, but hew knew not to expect that these days. It was his job to go to her.

He joined her in the living room, he kissed her full lips, tasting the potato chips she was munching on. He plopped down on the couch and they simultaneously started “You’ve gotta hear what happened to me today…”

“Go ahead,” Wendy offered. “I’ll finish my chips.”

“I went to my tailor today, to get him to let my suits out again. He said that he couldn’t they were as big as they were going to get. I had to order a couple of new ones!”

“That’s no surprise really,” she patted his generous tummy. “At work they’re trying to get me to leave early. Can you believe that!?”

“Wow, why?”

“They gave some bullshit reasons, like that I was losing focus, an that I might make a mistake. Not because I was doing anything wrong, but because they think I will. How lame is that? They just want me out because I make them look bad,” she fumed.

“Well, it’s up to you. I know you love your job. It would be nice to take in a couple more full paycheques, especially since I’m getting the new suits. So what’s for dinner?” he realised he was starving.

“Oh. Um. I don’t know, I was busy calming down after my meeting with Madeline. I guess I should whip something up, I haven’t eaten since lunch,” snacking didn’t really count anyway.

“Okay, I guess we’ll head out to dinner! I’m thinking… Chinese buffet,” he could see her eyes light up as his mouth started watering.