Approaching the attractive lady driver ? who has a huge
bow in the back of her hair ? he questions her politely.
"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all
over the road"?
The woman replies breathlessly, "Oh officer, thank
goodness you're here!! I almost had a terrible accident!
I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me.
"I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front
of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree
in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to her rear-view
mirror, the officer replied, "But, Ma'am ? I think
you'll find that that's your air freshener."
It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the members of the Bear
family are just waking up.
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl and it's empty!
"Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl ? and it is also empty!
"Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
Mommy Bear puts her head around the corner from the kitchen and says
with a sigh, "Good grief! How many times do we have to go through
this? I haven't even started cooking the porridge yet!"
decides to play more tennis.
After a couple of weeks, his secretary asks him how
he's doing.
"Well," reports the man, "when I'm on the court and I
see the ball speeding towards me, it seems like my brain
immediately says:
"?To the corner! Backhand! To the net! Smash! Run back!?
"Really? What happens then?" asks his secretary enthusiastically.
"Oh," says her boss, "then my body says: ?Who? Me? You?ve got to be kidding!?"
unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated
as masculine or feminine. Things like "chalk" or "pencil," she
described, would have a gender association - even though in English,
these words were neutral.
Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked,
"What gender is a computer?"
The teacher wasn't certain, so divided the class into two groups
and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or
feminine. One group was composed of the women in the class, and
the other, of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons
for their recommendation.
The group of women concluded that computers should be
referred to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half
the time they _are_ the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had
waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should
definitely be referred to as the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term
memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find
yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
