decision



	June 11, 2001
		Decisions


One night a friend called me up for she was having a problem deciding whether to enroll or not for her 2nd year in medicine the following day. We had a rough year, you see. And our minds were not made up yet about going through med school. We always turn to each other whenever we have the urge to quit. I try not to complain much but can't help it because when I entered med school, I can't seem to see good results for all the work I put into it, although I passed by the end of the year (and I am so grateful for that). Somehow, these past few days, I was able to make up my mind about bearing it all. I decided in the back of my mind that I'm going to go through with it even though I may repeat a lot of times to become a doctor. My friend that night was asking me to decide for her, whether she would continue or go ahead and get a job. And it was hard for me as well as for her. She was asking me to give her the direction I didn't have. All those four years in college and my 1st year in med school, I blamed everything bad that has happened to my parents who had this idea that I was going to be a doctor. And it is time that I grow up and decide for myself. To take responsibility to whatever it is that's happening in my life because only my hands are in the control starting today. If I grow up to be a really bad doctor, it would have to be my fault and not anyone else. I told my friend what I thought was happening. She was really not happy when she was in school during those days so why continue it. The work gets harder whenever that happens and there is no more room for harder because it is already so hard. She was one of those who are so indecisive besides myself. Her asking me to decide for her was looking for someone to blame if ever something goes wrong. And I didn't want any of it. I decide to pursue medicine and I just pray to God that I made the right decision.

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