What is a Liberal?
"As near as I can tell,
to be a liberal--
- You have to believe
that guns in the hands of law-abiding
Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the
hands of the Red Chinese.
- You have to believe
the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding.
- You have to be against
capital punishment but for abortion on
demand--in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing
the innocent.
- You have to believe
that all trial lawyers are selfless heroes
and all doctors are overpaid.
- You have to believe
that global temperatures are less affected
by cyclical, documented changes in climate, than by yuppies
driving SUVs.
- You have to believe
that gender roles is right-wing propaganda,
but being gay is natural.
- You have to believe
that businesses create oppression and
governments create prosperity.
- You have to believe
that self-esteem is more important than actually
doing something to earn it.
- You have to believe
the NRA is bad, because it stands up for certain
parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it stands
up for certain parts of the Constitution.
- You have to believe
that Rosa Parks, Cesar Chavez, and Gloria Steinem
are more important to American history than George Washington, Thomas
Jefferson, or Benjamin Franklin.
- You have to believe
that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't
been in charge.
"Looking back on
my list, it seems shallow, muddled, contradictory,
divorced of logic and a bit sadistic."
Well, then ... does that
describe the modern American liberal?
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