Unofficial Charlie's Afghans: Field Stuff

It takes a lot of hardware in the constant battle with evil. I mean, a simple chase after some bad guy that did some bad thing can take all the bounce out of your fur. We're all for upholding the law and saving the world for 12 minutes a week, but if we can't look good doing it then just forget it! Luckily, Charlie has supplied us with a vast arsenal of weapons to make us look fabulous. Check them out below:

First of all, each agent is issued her very own Personal Universal Retrievable Stashing Equipment, or Purse for short. Oh my gosh these are so awesome! You can stuff and stuff and stuff all your hygiene products in here and they like are never full! It is like your own personal clown car. Of course finding anything in there is a different matter. It is a shame the humans don't have anything like this. Oh well.

No agent would be worth their weight in wet fur (because that is exactly all they would have if they didn't have one of these) if they didn't have their own blow dryer. I mean like what kind of villain is going to take you seriously when you bark "Halt! Bad type person guy!" if you look like an unrung mop?

Dry hair is a step in the right direction but anyone with a clothes dryer can have that. What separates the heroines from the villains is fur with style? To achieve this we have all been given a curling iron. I know what you are thinking: Dogs don't wear clothes (except for bikinis) so why would you need an iron? That is what we thought too until it was explained to us (several times) that this iron is for your fur. It gives it bounce, shape and form. Just getting one of theses was well worth going through the Canine Academy five times.

Okay, so your hair is taken care of and stuff. You think you look like some dog biscuit model. Right? Wrong! You would be laughed out of any bad guys lair if you didn't like have long beautiful lashes. That is where this eyelash stretcher thingy comes in. It gives you that "did you put your tongue in a light socket" look we all desire.

I know what you are saying: "That is all nice a dandy but since when did I start using the word dandy? Oh yeah and what about my lips?" Who cares about lips? The only lips I care about are mine! Fortunately, the lipstick bone will do the trick. I mean there is no way you could possibly be a heroine without accenting your lips? I mean, how is the audience going to know you are sad after a villain has locked you up in his kennel and has threaten to kill you if they don't know you are pouting?

Last but far from least lets not forget those nails. I mean, how are you going to know if you have cracked a nail if you don't color them? Besides, if you are going to beat up on some nasty old villains it is only polite that you have some decent nails.

Now you are ready to put on all your Zerconum... Zerkillun... Zercornum... Oh, that fake jewelry that isn't worth anything but is nice and sparkly. Now you will be all the envy of all the other heroes. Bringing bad guys to justice is nice and all but being fashionable is really all that counts.

Well, that is it. All we have to say is that a lot of people think the secret of being a successful heroine is a lot of hard work, training and skill. Fortunately for us they are wrong, all it takes is a great makeup kit.

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Because the author of this site is not connected to the Show SpyDogs or Charlie's Afghans in any way none of the items you find here are to be taken seriously or as fact (except this disclaimer) This site is meant as pure entertainment, the characters portrayed here don't really necessarily act in this matter. As always, celebrities are impersonated.
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