Charlie X. Lacerte

April 7, 2003

Language arts

Myth

One day, long before us humans had brains and long before your great aunt Miriam was born, there was six gods. Decunda (pronounced Drac-und-a), father of all the gods and rules over them, had created humans and other such things but humans were the only thing he ever forgot to give a brain (its so sad!). Pietola (pronounced Pie-tol-la), god of courage and master of fire magic, and Verona (pronounced Ver-o-na), goddess of beauty master of earth magic, liked these mindless humans because all the humans did were eat sleep and worship them. Jocund (pronounced Joe-cund), goddess of happiness and free spiritedness and master of water magic, and Meed, goddess of reward and rejoice master of lightning and wind magic didn’t really care because all of the mindful creatures worshiped them. Then there was Evolus (pronounced evo-lus), ruler of the underworld, god of evil hate and death, and master of time and gravity magic (this dose not mean he could see the future or go to it. All it means is that he knows all of our history and can sometimes stop time), was bored. Without minds Evolus couldn’t control or manipulate their hatred towards others and they couldn’t be evil so they never came down to see him. The thought of this annoyed him so that he decided to do something about it.

Evolus opened a grand canyon in the earth that immediately started to spread with water but Evolus started to stop it before it reached him. He failed. Against the current he swam. His demonic wings flapping his legs kicking and his arms moving quickly got him over to the shore. Against the moons lights he looked like a small white pale mouse against the plane desert from far away but he soon got to the forest Meed was usually in. By that time it was noon and… "This is the absolute worst day! Look it’s nice and sunny out no clouds and it’s warm! Arrrgh! Why did it take me so long to get here! My face is burned and my arms are tanned… and my wings color are now brown!" Evolus yelled in rage "Meed I better find you soon or else the goodness and light of the sun will surly kill me!" After a few more complaints and curses he saw Meed.

Meed’s tan beautiful feminine body was lying there in a nice cool sunny spot in the middle of the grove. Elves and dwarves were all around her showing off everything that they had, from muscles to money to looks she rejected them all. Finally a few elves and a couple dwarves looked like they just wanted her beauty and not her mind with it. Evolus saw this disrespect to all woman (for he knew it was not gentleman like to treat a lady that way) went up to them and crushed them with a big rock. The other elves and dwarves saw this and ran up to kill Evolus in a rage of fury. Arrows whizzed by and swords clanged while the battle quickly moved. Evolus yelled to all of them "YOU FOOLS YOU KNOW YOUCAN’T DEFEAT ME I AM A GOD YOU MUST DIE NOW FOR YOUR DISREPECT!" They yelled back "WE WILL KEEP FIGHTING UNTIL YOU DIE FOR OUR BROTHERS DEATHS!" Evolus was really angry now so he lifted his walking staff and slapped off all of their heads while keeping all the blood in the air floating to never soil the sacred ground of the forest. After the battle he went to the sea in a far away land dumped in the blood and created a red tide or as some call it a Red Sea. He burned his staff and talked to Meed.

Meed said to him "You have reclaimed my honor chose your reward." He replied "A normal talk with you and Jocund tonight. Then I will tell you my plan." "Ok!" she said. Then night came.

That night in a special meeting place Evolus made they talked. They were deciding if they should give the humans brains and if so how. Evolus said, "I have heard from another planets god that on their planet there is a big brain. If there is one on earth then we could cut it up and give it to the humans." "That may be but I will need a day to think on it" said Jocund "Fine. We shall meet here again tomorrow?" "Tomorrow’s fine" said Meed and Jocund. So Evolus left to keep watch while they slept.

Evolus couldn’t help but watch them instead of the creatures of the night. He looked as he saw Jocund’s powerful legs, slender arms, and perfected curves. Then he looked at Meed’s slender figure and nearly perfect curves. "Oh look at Jocund how I love her." He yawned and went to sleep.

The next morning when he awoke it was not his own doing. A T-rex was poking him awake. "What devilry is this!" Evolus yelled. "Shhhhh!" said the T-rex "the master might hear you." Evolus replied calmly now "Who are you? Who is your master? And are you the last of your kind?" The T-rex answered "Rex is my name. Pietola is the master of this prison I am a prisoner like you and I am the only one left of my kind Pietola killed the rest of us. Now who are you?" "Evolus." "You are the great Evolus? I have waited so long to meet you. You are my kind’s favorite god." "Really?" "Yes. We are your servants master." "What is your kind anyway?" "I am the last of the dinosaurs." "Oh. Sorry your kind is in a different quadrant I haven’t been able to go to in a while." "It’s alright" "Good." At the end of the conversation a guard came in.

"Alright you maggots! Get up you two are going against Pietola today." Said the gruesome guard. Evolus stood up and said, "Where are Meed and Jocund?" The guard replied "they are your prize if you defeat Pietola." Rex said, "We’re ready!" The guard led them into a huge coliseum and hanging in a cage was Meed and Jocund.

"Pietola you dog let them go! NOW!" Yelled Evolus. Pietola muscles and testosterone and all replied "HAHAHA! I won’t let them go unless you two win! If you lose or die I get to use them as my slaves! HAHAHA!" Evolus yelled back "Why doesn’t your dog Verona please you?" Pietola replied angrily "Leave her out of this little brother!" "Let us get on with this!" yelled Rex and the fight began.

Pietola took a swing to Rex’s face but Rex ducked and bit Pietola in the leg. Blood gushed down his leg while he did a punch with fire behind it at Rex’s body. It was a direct hit and Rex died instantly. "NOOOOOOOO! REX!" Yelled Evolus "REX YOU WILL BE AVENGED!" Evolus flew into the air changed the gravity and charged down at Pietola and hit him in the head. A huge boom filled the room and all that was left of Pietola was his gory remains. Then Evolus flew up, freed Meed and Jocund, and Jocund kissed him!

Evolus said to Meed, "Do I get a reward for rescuing you?" She answered "Yes chose one." Evolus chose "Create a big brain to cut up and give to the humans please." She answered "okay. It is done. The brain is in the eastern region." "Let’s go then." Said Evolus said and they were off.

Half way through the Pacific Ocean they saw a circle of land. Jocund and Evolus thought it would be a nice place to rest. Meed didn’t care much where they stopped so they did. After a little making out the two lovebirds came back and Verona had captured Meed with her dodo army. Verona yelled to Evolus "You, You killed my beloved and for that I will kill you!" Then she squawked like one of the dodo’s calls and all the dodos in the world came to kill Evolus. Evolus took out his staff and Jocund pulled out her scimitar and dagger to get ready to fight.

The dodos went straight for Evolus’s head but he killed them all with only a few pecks in the head as injuries. Jocund went for Verona but Verona just slashed her with her sword. Evolus yelled, "You must die for that. Jocund is one hundred times more woman than you!" Verona collapsed because beauty was the source of her power and if someone thought that someone was more beautiful than she was she would explode. So in the end she did and so did all the dodoes but all the explosions did was create islands Meed named the Hawaiian Islands. Now four whole species were gone to give one species brains. "It was pitiful." Evolus thought.

Jocund’s award for trying to save Meed was to teleport them to the big brain and to bring the humans with them. When they got to the brain Jocund cave her dagger to Meed so she could cut up the brain and give it to the human’s empty bodies. While Meed was busy Jocund and Evolus asked Decunda if they could marry. He said "Yes you shall be wed, your son will take my place of 1,000diferent names and your will take over your throne Evolus." "Fine. That is perfect. Thank you." They replied.

Now that the humans had minds of their own they could do good and evil. They developed different religions and Decolives (pronounced Dec-o-liv-s and he is Jocund and Evolus’s son) just took all of them as his own. Even the title of head goddess (since he couldn’t marry). For Evolus’s final words he said to his daughter "Be a good girl." She promised him she would but she got the titles of Hades, Pluto, and Satin because of her evil deeds. Evolus was very disappointed so much so he and Jocund took back the throne took keep her in line.. Meed spread throughout the world giving brains to newborns and taking ones from the dead so remember if someone says you might be the next Albert Einstein you might just have his brain.