| "Is that what you've been afraid of? Trish, your past is just that, your past. Jay has Denise now and I have you now. That was then and this is now. I love you." Jeff hugged me. Jeff made me cry again. He was so calm about what I had just told him. I didn't have anything to be scared about all that time. He really loved me and I loved him. I never had a boyfriend like him. I still couldn't help but wonder if Jeff was really all that calm about what I just said. **I was walking to the women's locker room to go talk to Stacey. I needed advice from a girl's point of view. I needed to know if I should still try to work things out with Jay. I walked inside the locker room and Stacey was sitting at her mirror putting on makeup for her match with B.B. She looked up at me and smiled. "Hey, Trish! How are you?" "Terrible." "Why?" "It's a long story, Stacey. You don't wanna hear it." "Yes, I do. I don't have to wrestle B.B. until about an hour from now. I'm listening." "Okay, you asked for it." I told her everything and it was a long story but she still listened. I appreciated that. Stacey was one of my best friends ever since I came to the WWF. "I think he still loves you, Trish, because if he's jealous about the fact that you're with Jeff, then it's obvious that he still has feelings for you. It's a good thing you told Jeff about that engagement before he found out in an another way but I don't think Jay told Denise about it though. If he did tell her, then he wouldn't have treated you the way he did that day. Jay has Denise now, he doesn't want to lose her, that's why he denied it, you know?" I understood what Stacey was saying. She was saying that if Jay told me he did still love me that day, then something might of happened and it would've ruined his relationship with Denise. I felt the same way he did. I knew Jay still loved me but that wasn't the answer I wanted to hear because I wanted to be with Jeff, more than anyone else but he still shouldn't have talked to me like that. He could've just simply said no. That's when I knew that this was serious. I don't wanna ruin Denise and Jay's relationship but Jay looked real jealous that day I saw him watching me and Jeff kissing. I thought he had forgotten the past, I thought I had too but I was wrong, we both were wrong. "Should I keep trying to work things out with Jay?" I asked Stacey. "You gotta ask yourself this question first. Then you'll have the answer." "What question, Stacey?" "Do you still love Jay?" "I don't know." "Exactly. You still need to work things out with Jay. Keep trying no matter what. If I know Jay, he's probably asking Adam for some advice right now too." "It's... it's just hard to lose the one you love, to finally have to say goodbye is the hardest thing to do, Stacey. I can't pretend I don't love him but... I don't know if I do." "I know, girl, I know. You try to be strong but the pain keeps holding on. You know it's time to move on, that's why you're trying to straighten things out but you're still holding on to those memories... the good times you had with Jay when y'all were together. I'm sure he is too. The emptiness for missing Jay will never ever end." I started to cry. Everything Stacey said was true. I realized that I still missed Jay. Stacey got up and hugged me. "It's okay, Trish. Hopefully, Jay misses you too." "You know, sometimes... if there was one wish I could be granted right now, it would be to have Jay's arms around me. Sometimes I feel that way at night." "Trish, what about Jeff?" "I'm not leaving Jeff and Jay's not leaving Denise. You know that song 'I Turn To You' by Christina Aguilera?" "Yeah." "That's how I feel about Jeff. I love him, just because I miss Jay doesn't mean our relationship has to end. I realized what the problem is... we never said goodbye." "What do you mean?" "Jay and I never said goodbye... it just ended... or at least we thought it did." "Tell me." "Tell you what?" "Tell me about the time when you two were together and why you and Jay broke up." I thought about that for a minute. That was so long ago but I needed to get it off my chest. I told myself I might as well tell her. I just came here to get advice and she gave it to me but she gave me so much more. "Okay... I guess... I'll start from the first time I met him." I said. "You got thirty minutes." |