| "Well, you're gonna have to tell him sometime. You better tell him now before the relationship gets serious." "Adam, it is serious! We made love last night." "You and Jeff f***ed?" "No, we made love. There's a difference." "Exactly. You've only been going together for a day." "That's how serious it is!" "Well, you better tell him now." It was quiet for a minute. I just sat down on Adam's bed and looked at the floor. "You're usually right about these things, Adam. I might as well listen to you. Thank you, big brother." I gave Adam a hug. "No problem, sis." I loved Adam so much. He was always there for me when I needed him ever since the fifth grade. He had always been the shoulder I could cry on, he was the brother I never had. I got up and left Adam's room so that him and Allanah (Adam's fiancee) could be alone. I walked to Jay's hotel room. We had to talk about this before something happened that I didn't want to happen. I knocked on the door. He opened the door, he had his shirt off, and the look on his face changed when he saw me. "Hello Trish." His voice sounded so lifeless. "Jay, we need to talk." He looked at me for a minute. "Come in." I sat down on his bed. He sat down on the other one. "What do you need?" He asked. "We need to talk." "About what?" "Our past." "I don't wanna talk about that." Jay said. "Well, we are. I saw you, Jay." "Saw me what?" "When Jeff and I were kissing, I saw you looking at us." "So what?" "You looked jealous, Jay." Jay turned around. "Look, I'm not here to rub it in your face. I just wanna know something." I said. "What?" Jay said that like he couldn't stand me. "Do you still love me?" Jay got up and looked in my eyes so evilly. He pointed at me. "Why are you always assuming things? Who ever told that bullshit is lying. Now get the hell out." Jay pointed to the door. Forget it, I said to myself. I got up and walked to the door but I realized something and turned around. "Jay, this is exactly what happened last time and with the way you just reacted to me, I think you still do love me." I said. "The keyword in that sentence was think. Get out." Jay opened the door. Jay and walked out, as far as I was concerned, I didn't know him anymore. **Jeff, Matt, Amy, and myself were on our way to the house show. Jeff was driving and I was in the passenger side. Matt and Amy were in the back making out. They had been doing that for about twenty minutes. "Trish, you haven't said a word since we got on the road. Are you okay?" I appreciated Jeff's concern but I really didn't feel like talking to him. "I'm alright." I replied. I knew Jeff didn't believe me but he said okay. I looked out of the window. I couldn't believe what Jay said to me. I was trying to work things out but he acted like he didn't give a damn. I knew something bad was gonna happen. I wanted to tell Jeff but I was too scared. **We were backstage at the house show in our dressing room. "Trish, I can't stand it anymore. You're too quiet, what's wrong?" "Jeff, I really don't wanna talk about it." I looked at Matt and Amy on the other side of the room cuddling and talking. They looked so happy together. Jeff ran his fingers through my hair. "What are you afraid of? I promised you I'd never hurt you when we first got together." Jeff looked at me in my eyes. He was right and he was so good to me. I couldn't help it, I started to cry. I didn't feel safe, I wanted to feel safe. Jeff's presence did that. I wanted to be in his arms. "Hold me." I said. Jeff wrapped his arms around me. I felt so warm. That was when I knew I had to tell Jeff because I didn't want to lose him and I knew he wasn't gonna leave me over this. I sighed and said, "Promise me you won't get mad." Jeff kissed me. "I promise." I sighed again. "Jeff... before I met you, when I was living in Canada... I was engaged... to Jay." |