FRED asked “Where’s she going?”
“To find your former employer.” said Calpurnia.
“Then why aren’t you with her?” asked Paul.
“Because of this.” said Calpurnia putting her hands on her stomach.
“Oh.” said Paul, “You mean…”
“Yes, I mean.” said Calpurnia.
“Well congratulations.” said John, “Does your hubby know about it?”
“He’s dead.” said Calpurnia and for a long time now as far as you five are concerned. she said to herself.
“Well I’m sorry to hear that.” said Paul.
“But does save the hassle of him having to buy the cigars when it comes.” said John, “You can’t get the Cuban brand anymore.”
“Well you see,” said Calpurnia, “I’m not sure that I am pregnant yet.”
“Well we’ll have to find a bunny around here to use it.” said John.
“Or find a doctor.” said Paul, “Leave the poor rabbits alone.”
Calpurnia felt a craving coming on.
“Listen boys.” she said, “My companion has gone off to find the three and according to that poster over there there’s a concert being performed tonight at the Konzerthaus around eight o’clock. Now I don’t know how long my friend is going to be away so I’m going to need help here. So guys, won’t you please, please help me?”
“Alright, we’re game.” said Paul, “What do you want us to do?”
“I want one of the Beatles to come with me. The rest stay with Fred.” said Calpurnia.
The Beatles looked at each other.
Then, John said “I’ll go.”
“Follow me.” said Calpurnia and John did.
Calpurnia led John back to the limousine which was nearly visible now. John was taken aback by this sight.
“The car.” he exclaimed, “What happened?”
“Oh it’s this invisible mechanism called the cloaking device.” said Calpurnia, “It can’t be left on indefinitely. So it’s being recharged.”
“A cloaking device?” asked John as the two got in.
“Yes.” said Calpurnia, “It was given a title after a similar device used in Star Trek.”
“Star what?” asked John.
“It’s before your time too.” said Calpurnia.
“Are you talking time travel too?” asked John, “Woman. If you’re pregnant, you shouldn’t be smoking them funny cigs either.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” said Calpurnia, “Anyway do you see this?” She was pointing to the time circuits box.
“You mean that?” asked John.
“Just look at the present time and tell me what time it is.”
“It reads 4:25 p.m.”
“It means my companion has three and a half hours to find Ludwig Von Beethoven, his sister and her daughter and get them home and him to that Konzerthaus before eight.”
“So what do you want us to do?”
Just then, Calpurnia had an idea.
“John.” she said, “You and your friend are musicians aren’t you?”
“Of course.” said John, “Are you trying to say we should conduct the orchestra? We’re rhythm and blues.” And then, he looked out the window of the limousine and said “But Fred can.”
“You mean the man that was let go by Beethoven today?” asked Calpurnia.
“Yeah.” said John, “He said that the orchestra that Beethoven was conducting was his band before he went to war.”
“John.” said Calpurnia, “I think you’d save the day.”
At once, the two got out and approached the other four.
“Fred.” asked Calpurnia, “How badly do you want that band of yours back?”
“Very.” said Fred.
“I think you’ve got an opportunity tonight.” said Calpurnia.
“How’s that?” asked Fred.
“Well Beethoven’s gone off to stop the baron from abducting his sister and niece.” said Calpurnia, “Now if those three aren’t back before eight tonight. You might have to go on.”
Fred stood there for a minute before saying “I wouldn’t have never thought of it that way.”
“But you’ll be needing little help from some friends.” said Calpurnia, “Namely these four men?”
“Us?” asked Ringo, “But what can we do?”
“Perform with him.” said Calpurnia.
“We can’t.” said George, “Our instruments didn’t come with us.”
“I’ve got some extra instruments.” said Fred, “Anything you want.”
“You do?” asked Paul, “Like guitars, bass and drums.”
“Like I said.” said Fred, “Anything.”
“Well then, lead on.” said Ringo.
Immediately, the five time travelers followed Fred to his house.
++++++
After asking for directions, Clara arrived at the house of the baron. Sneaking into the yard, she slowly crept towards the back until she came across a window leading down to a cellar. In there were Beethoven, Helga, and Jacqueline all tied to chairs. Walking back and forth in front of them was Baron Von Tannenhausen.
“Tannenhausen.” she heard Helga ask, “Why have you kidnapped us all?”
“Because of Beethoven’s latest symphony.” said Tannenhausen, “The Choral Symphony. Singing ‘Ode to Joy’. I hate singing.”
“You do?” asked Helga, “I thought that it was only my daughter’s singing you hated. That’s why I told her to just practice the piano not sing.”
Tannenhausen laughed. “Well you thought wrong.” he said “Why do you think I stay out of those opera houses?”
Jacqueline looked at the baron saying “So it wasn’t my singing after all.”
“No it wasn’t.” said Tannenhausen.
“Well you can’t stop every person in the world from singing.” said Jacqueline.
“Maybe not.” said Tannenhausen, “But I got you for me to stop singing. And that’s enough for me. And if there is any singing while we’re married, I’ll have the surgeon remove your vocal chords so you can’t even talk.” Helga was terrified at what the baron was proposing as Tannenhausen called in his men and ordered “Untie Jacqueline and take her to my bedchamber.”
As the baron’s henchmen were untying Jacqueline, the earth under Clara’s feet gave way causing the window to slide in and crash on the floor with Clara following. Clara grabbed a hold of something and then let herself land on the floor softly.
All eyes looked towards the intruder as she said “Nice of me to drop in like this.”
“You!” said Tannenhausen.
“Now baron,” said Clara, “you should know better than to mistreat a little girl like that.”
Immediately, Tannenhausen motioned to his men “Seize her!” His men promptly did. “Tie her up.” he ordered.
“Now wait a minute.” said Clara, “This is no way to treat a lady.”
After binding Clara, Tannenhausen told his men “As soon as I’m alone in my bedchamber with Jacqueline…”
“Baron.” said one of his men, “Shouldn’t you be married first?”
Tannenhausen told this henchman “Why don’t you keep your snout out of my business?”
“That’s ‘nose’ my baron.” said the henchman, “‘keep you nose out of my business’.”
“Alright.” said Tannenhausen, “‘Nose’. Anyway, as soon as she’s with me, I want you to take those three and make it look like an accident.”
“Yes sir.” said the henchmen.
After that, Jacqueline was dragged away.
++++++
Fred took the five time travelers to his house. The Beatles and Calpurnia were amazed at what they were seeing.
“So this is your pad.” said Paul.
“Soft isn’t it.” said John.
“Not if you’re on the bottom.” said Ringo.
Fred came in with some stuff saying “Alright lads. Here’s what you’ll need.”
The stuff turned out to be musical instruments as in guitars, drums, tubas, trumpets, and saxophones.
“Groovy.” said Paul, “What do we do with these things?”
“We rehearse.” said Fred.
“Hey look at this.” said Ringo showing everyone the big drum
It read:
FRED PEPPER’S
LONELY HEARTS
CLUB BAND
“So that’s the name of your band.” said Paul.
“It is,” said Fred, “before I joined the army.”
“An army man.” said John.
“Who made sergeant.” said Fred.
“Well if you want your band back,” said John, “let’s rename the drum.”
He took a piece of paper and wrote something. Then, he put it on the drum over the word “FRED”. It now read
SGT. PEPPER’S
LONELY HEARTS
CLUB BAND
“Sgt. Pepper’s.” said Fred.
“I like the sound of it.” said Paul.
“We should put it into song.” suggested John.
“That’s right.” said Paul, “Hey Fred you said you started this band…”
“…twenty years ago today.” said Fred.
“Wait a minute.” said Calpurnia, “You mean you’re going to compose some music here.”
“Why not?” asked John.
“I’m just curious on how you’re going to get this done so fast.” asked Calpurnia.
“Pretty simple.” said John. And he started to sing:
Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalades skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
Cellophane flowers of yellow and green,
Towering over your head.
Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes,
And she’s gone.Lucy in the skies with diamonds,
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,Ah…ah
Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain
Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies,
Everyone smiles as you drift by the flowers,
That grows so incredibly high.
Newspaper taxis appear on the shore,
Waiting to take you away.
Climb in the back with your head in the clouds,
And you’re gone.Lucy in the skies with diamonds,
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,Ah…ah
Picture yourself on a train in a station,
With plasticine porters with looking glass ties,
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,
The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.Lucy in the skies with diamonds,
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,Ah…ah
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,Ah..ah
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,
Lucy in the skies with diamonds,
Lucy in the skies with diamonds.
After the singing, John said “Now we carry on.”
“You certainly was carrying on, John.” said Ringo.
Meanwhile, Calpurnia located a corner of the room and pulled out her walkie-talkie.
Talking to it, she said “Clara, come in.” But there was nothing on the other side but static. “Come in, Clara, come in.” Still nothing. “Clara come in!”
That last one got the attention of Fred and the Beatles.
++++++
Clara was busy getting unstuck by breaking the ropes. Just then, her walkie-talkie beep.
“Come in, Clara. Come in.”
Oh no! said Clara to herself, Calpurnia. She’s trying to call me. And I’m all tied up.
“What was that?” asked Helga.
Clara was trying to struggle for an answer.