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"Charles Crowley... What can I say about The Undisputed World's National Televison Heavyweight Champion Of The World that hasn't already been a zillion fucking times? Well, in case you've been living in a tree for the last 10 years, I'll bring you up to speed. Charles Crowley was begat by Arcane Crowley along with his little brother Goldy. Arcane met and married Harleen Quinn after his previous wife went missing, From his father's marriage to Harleen, Charles and Goldy got a stepsister named Lexi. The 3 children clicked amazingly well considering the upbringing they all recieved. Raised to believe the world revoved around hate, pain, and death...the 3 kids were beset upon with trouble from their school days. After the movie "Child's Play" was released to theaters, fellow classmates began to give Charles a hard time due to his minbor resemblance to the killer doll in the movie. This prompted his stepsister to lure one of the cruel fellow classmates of his into the girls bathroom where she proceeded to stab him in the eye, laughing, with a homemade knife she fashioned from an old spoon. Charles and Goldy also got into the action by beating the classmate down and causing much more suffering. This got all 3 of them espelled and brought more trouble down on the family than the parents cared for, resulting in the parents kicking the 3 out of the farmhouse they called home. Buring down their home before heading their separate ways, the 3 said goodbye to one another. Lexi went on to survive by commiting petty crimes of theft and robbery, when she met Loki, as they both were attempting to steal the same Dodge Charger. It was love at first site for the 2, and they stuck together ever since. When Lotus, Loki's brother got out of jail for having beaten a midget that was trying to stop him from stealing a monkey from a zoo, he joined the 2 and they all got roadie jobs for psychopathic records, where they all enjoyed living the Juggalo lifestyle and had taken to calling themselves the Soopa VIllains. Meanwhile, Charles began his wrestling career, quite by accident after drifting for so many years, in 1995, thus beginning what is now universally known as "The Decade Of Infamy". Charles Crowley took to wrestling like an alligator to luggage. In other words, it was a natural fit. Never one to shy away from a challenge, Charles meet them all... head on. One by one, legends were chewed up, and disposed of, like so much feces. Can you say, 'flush'? That same month, a fateful meeting took place, for, in April of 2001, Charles Crowley stumbled across The BONE JANGLER's secret lair. An alliance was formed, The BONE JANGLER became Charles' manager. But as always, for both groups, old habits flaired up again Charles reunited with his stepsister and the Soopa Villains. Calling themselves the Carnaival Rejects, they cause trouble whereever they are prone to turn up. Stay out of their way as they show no mercy.
In September of 2001, "The BONE JANGLER" television program was launched, and, naturally, Charles Crowley came along for the ride, usually seen hosting music videos on his own segment entitled "Crowley's Corner".
Now seen on 36 stations, in 21 states, "The BONE JANGLER" is one of the most popular Horror Hosts in the history of the genre, and Charles Crowley's place in sports history is well-cemented. Charles Crowley IS the single most notorious athlete in Chicago sports history, not to mention the fact that he is, perhaps, the greatest professional wrestler alive today."
- courtesy of Professional Wrestling Almanac |
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