I'd want his eyes to sparkle
And he'd have to make me laught
He'd pay his share of our expenses
We'd cut them right in half.
I'd want him to be about my age
And full of energy and spunk
I'd like a hairy chest on him
When I order up my hunk.
He'd be loving and understanding
And not the least bit lazy
And I'd be specially a wantin'
His kisses to drive me crazy.
I'd want him to be loyal
With eyes for only me
He'd be smart and he'd be witty
Where,oh where,can that man be?
He'd fine me fascinating
And he'd have a knack for conversation
He'd be neat and clean
And free of alcoholic saturation.
He'd wash a dish or mop the floor
And still feel like a man
We's share sorrows and sucess
He'd never let me down.
I'd choose between blue eyes or brown
And I could order any size
Where in the heck do I find
This catalogue for guys?
He'd like my friends and family
And they'd all like him too
He'd sit in church beside me
And go anywhere I want him too.
If there's really such a catalogue
I want a copy sent today
Because I want to do some shopping
And place an order right away.
I'd want him all in working order
I think that's all I need
There'd be no charge for freight
And satisfactions guaranteed.
With all these specifications
Will he cost more than I can pay?
They'll have to repossess him
Cause I'm ordering anyway!