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Personality Traits
of the Mentally Healthy
by Albert Ellis
- Self-interest. The emotionally healthy individual should primarily
be true to himself and not masochistically sacrifice himself for
others. His kindness and consideration for others should be derived
from the idea that he himself wants to enjoy freedom from unnecessary
pain and restriction, and that he is only likely to do so by helping
create a world in which the rights of others, as well as his own,
are not needlessly curtailed.
- Self-direction. He should assume responsibility for his own
life, be able independently to work out his own problems, and
while at times wanting or preferring the cooperation and help
of others, not need their support for his effectiveness and well-being.
- Tolerance. He should fully give other human beings the right
to be wrong; and while disliking or abhorring some of their behavior,
still not blame them, as persons, for performing this dislikeable
behavior. He should accept the fact that all humans are remarkably
fallible, never unrealistically expect them to be perfect, and
refrain from despising or punishing them when they make inevitable
mistakes and errors.
- Acceptance of uncertainty. The emotionally mature individual
should completely accept the fact that we live in a world of probability
and chance, where there are not, nor probably ever will be, any
absolute certainties, and should realize that it is not at all
horrible, indeed—such a probabilistic, uncertain world.
- Flexibility. He should remain intellectually flexible, be open
to change at all times, and unbigotedly view the infinitely varied
people, ideas, and things in the world around him.
- Scientific thinking. He should be objective, rational and scientific;
and be able to apply the laws of logic and of scientific method
not only to external people and events, but to himself and his
interpersonal relationships.
- Commitment. He should be vitally absorbed in something outside
of himself, whether it be people, things, or ideas; and should
preferably have at least one major creative interest, as well
as some outstanding human involvement, which is highly important
to him, and around which he structures a good part of his life.
- Risk-taking. The emotionally sound person should be able to
take risks, to ask himself what he really would like to do in
life, and then to try to do this, even though he has to risk defeat
or failure. He should be adventurous (though not necessarily foolhardy);
be willing to try almost anything once, just to see how he likes
it; and look forward to some breaks in his usual life routines.
- Self-acceptance. He should normally be glad to be alive, and
to like himself just because he is alive, because he exists, and
because he (as a living being) invariably has some power to enjoy
himself, to create happiness and joy. He should not equate his
worth or value to himself on his extrinsic achievements, or on
what others think of him, but on his personal existence; on his
ability to think, feel, and act, and thereby to make some kind
of an interesting, absorbed life for himself.
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A single egg hatched every shape that swarms. The hand
that ordained chaos made the forms. -Daniel Hoffman, Broken Laws |