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| Signs that you have had too much of the Hi-Tech age 1) You just tried to enter your password on the microwave. 2) You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 3) You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-) 4) You wake up at 2am to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed. 5) You turn off your Modem and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 6) You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow. 7) Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses. 8) The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you. 9) You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid. 10) Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen. 11) Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver. 12) You check your blow-dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant. 13) You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea. 14) You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbour yet this year. 15) Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site. 16) You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?" 17) Your idea of being organised is multiple-coloured Post-it notes. 18) You're reading this. 19) Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else (please do!) Signs that You've Overdosed on The World Wide Web 1) When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages. 2) Your opening chat-up line is: "So, what's your homepage address?" 3) You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 4.0" on one of the clouds. 4) You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Webpage with no links. 5) Your cat has his own webpage. 6) So does your gold fish. 7) One of your best friends is Mirsky2001, and you've never met him. 8) You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening towards the flimsy guardrail that separates you the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death, and you desperately look for the "Back" button. 9) You visit "The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything" again and again and again. 10) You felt driven to consult the "Shockwave Daily Jigsaw" on your wedding day. |
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