Does your Company have a problem in recruiting the right person for the right chair? If yes, try this simple experiment.
Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.
Then send 2-3 candidates into the room and close it from outside.
Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation:
If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks - PUT THEM IN ACCOUNTS DEPT.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks PUT THEM IN ENGINEERING.
If they are arranging the bricks in some other order -PUT THEM IN PLANNING.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other -PUT THEM IN OPERATIONS.
If they are sleeping -PUT THEM IN SECURITY.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces -PUT THEM IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.
If they are sitting idle -PUT THEM IN HUMAN RESOURCE DEPT.
If they have thrown the bricks out of the window -PUT THEM IN THE MATERIALS DEPT.
If they are clinging onto the bricks -PUT THEM IN TREASURY.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has moved - PUT THEM IN SALES.
If they have already left for the day -PUT THEM IN MARKETING.
If they are staring out of the window -PUT THEM IN THE EXPORT.
AND last but not least..........
If they are talking to each other and not a brick has moved - PUT THEM IN TOP MANAGEMENT
Management Lessons...
Number 1:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very,very high up.
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Number 2:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
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Number 3:
A little bird was flying south for the winter.It was so cold,the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lesson:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!
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Number 4:
The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along,they passed some people who remarked "it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding".The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They decided they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey! Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying "how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey".The boy and man said they were probably right so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed a bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
Management Lesson:
If you try to please everyone, you will eventually lose your ass.
Number 5:
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I shoudl be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."The feet said, "We shoudl be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.
The hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all he work and earn all the money."And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the boss,so the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feed twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit !!!
Management Lesson:
You don't need brains to be a Boss any asshole will do
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