Laloo Yadav was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets with President
Bill Clinton. The instructor told Laloo " , when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how are you'. Then Mr Clinton should say "I am fine, and you ?" Now you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we translators will do all the work for you." It looks quite simple, but the truth is ...
When Laloo met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You ?" Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor : "Well, I am Hilary's husband, ha ha..." Then Laloo replied confidently "Me too!"
---------------
Saddam Hussain approached God and asked him, "When will peace return to mycountry?"
God answered, "You can never see peace in your country during your lifetime."
Saddam wept bitterly and walked away. Nawaz Sharif approached God and asked,"When can I see a united Pakistan with Kashmir?"
God said,"You can never annex Kashmir during your life time." Sharif wept and walked away.
Laloo Prasad approached God and asked, "When will Bihar become a civilised state?"
God wept bitterly and said,"I can never see that happening during my life time."
---------------
Laloo becomes PM and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz
Sharif. They decide to meet without aides and are closed for about 5 minutes. Then Nawaz Sharif comes out and drops a bombshell -
Pakistan has decided to giveup all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached! The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5
minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours. "Sab Akai
TV - waalon ka kamaal hai," says Laloo. "Woh kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge free milega, video khareedein
to cellphone free milega... tho ham bhi Nawazbhai se keh diye: "Aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie.
Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!"
---------------
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street.All the sardars in the mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing
and general 'balle balle'is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a
marriage baraat.
So one of them asks Sunta Singh, "Singh Saab, aap ka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?" comes the reply,
"Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli bar ek sardar "brain" tumour se mara hai!!!
---------------
A Sardarji,a Muslim,a Hindu and an American were flying. Suddenly the plane's engine goes bad. So everybody is advised to jump.
But they realise that there are no parachutes on the plane.Sardar being little bold thinks "saala marna tey haiga, why not try
something". He unties his turban and holds the ends, making it like a ! Parachute, and jumps out.Luckily the idea works and
he floats down like on a parachute. Seeing this, Hindu pandit also opens his dhoti and does the same, he also starts floating. Now
Muslim also removes his kurta and does the same and he too starts floating. Now comes American's turn. Poor chap is wearing
torn Bermudas and a tattered T-shirt. Anyway he also removes them ties evrything up and jumps. But it does not hold and he
starts falling very quickly. On the way to the ground he passes the Muslim,who says"Allah tumhari khair kare". Another 1000
feet and he passes the Pandit. Pandit says "Bhagwan tumhari raksha kare". Falling rapidly, he quickly passes the Sardarji.
Sardarji says "accha aey gul eh.....race lagani haigi, le phir".........and leaves the turban.
---------------
One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing?" Singh answered, " No,
I am Banta Singh."
Another guy came and asked the him the same question. Singh answered, "No, No, me Banta Singh!" Third one came and asked
him the same question again. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Singh soaking
in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am
relaxing." The Singh slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and your are sitting over here!"
---------------
Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: "What are you searching for?"
Santa: "Hidden cameras!" Jasmeet: "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?"
Santa: "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching the Star World channel'.
How does he know that?"
---------------
Two Singh went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner. So the two sardars swapped their sandwiches.
---------------
Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied "Exam was
okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK!!!"
---------------
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the
question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then
removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed,approaches
him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, Answer the following
questions in brief'
---------------
Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell. So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one
replied, "I came here for blood test" Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid ?" First one replied, " No, not that. During the blood
test they cut my finger" Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."
---------------
A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager
comes running and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you doing?" To this the man replies," Oye, see the board here, "Wash Basin".
---------------
Once a cruise ship carrying people from all the nations was going on a around the world' tour when it got grounded. The ship became
slow and finally came to a grinding halt. Captain of the ship called an emergency meeting and told the passengers,
"Friends, we are in trouble because of God's being angry with us. We need to give sacrifice and I need three people to sacrifice their
life so that rest of us can be saved."
All of them moved towards the Deck where a japanese came forward and shouted "Long live japan" and jumped into the sea.
Then a Israeli jew stepped forward said "Hellulaja" and dived into the sea.
After that no one came forward for few seconds while people stared at each other and suddenly out of nowhere a Sardarji came
forward near the railing and chanted," Jo bole-so-nihal, sat sri akaal"
"wahe guruji da khalsa, wahe guruji di fateh"
"Jai maa Kali, Jai maa Durga, Jai Hanuman"
"jai Sri Ram, Jai siva-sankar, Jai baba nanak di"
"Jai jawan jai kissan "and finally yelled at the top of his voice "Bharat mata ki jai"
And Kicked the pakistani standing next to him in the sea.
---------------
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry
them all so they decided that one has to leave, otherwise they were all going to fall. They were not able to name that person but
the woman told a very touching speech - she said that she will voluntarily let go of the rope because as woman she is used to
give up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, without ever getting anything in return. As soon as she finished
her speech, all the men started clapping their hands......
---------------
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked,"I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does
it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly
measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing
beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.
---------------
The British doctor says "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."
The German doctor says, "That's nothing, we can take a lung out of one person put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks."
The Russian doctor says,"In my country medicine is so advanced we can take half a heart out of one person put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks."
The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind. We just took a man out of Texas, removed his brains, put him in the White House,and now half the country is looking for work, and the other half is fighting a war against Iraq"
---------------
A "Mallu" female (from the heart of Kerala) went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY. When the manager saw the Mallu's colorful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair, his mind was screaming "NOT THIS WOMAN." Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu. So he told her "If You could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance! The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK." The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and
said: "I hear the phone GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone,I say YELLOW.....
BLUE's that? WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number.. ... Don't PURPLELY disturb people and don't call BLACK, yokeeyy? Thank you."
The Manager fainted.....
---------------
A man went to an underwear company for a job interview.
The manager says, "If you can answer these 3 questions right, the job is yours!
We pack our underwear in 7-packs, 5-packs and 12-packs. Why?" The man thinks for a moment and replies,
The 7-packs are for Indian men: one for each day of the week.
The 5-packs are for American men: one each for Monday to Friday, and they don't wear underwear on weekends.
The 12-packs are for Pakistani men: one each for January, February, ..
He got the job.....
HEHE Donn Mind plz..
---------------
Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident.
Banta was visiting him in the hospital. Banta, "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank God that it was your left hand, since you are right handed."Santa, "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!
---------------
My friend and I went to Burger King on day to get some food. We were in line behind an older couple. The man bought one hamburger, one drink, and one bag of fries, the woman didn�t order. My friend thought that was strange and went up to the couple and asked them, "Sir, why did you only order one meal for two people?" The man replied, "My wife and I have been married 50 years and we share everything." He then cut the food in half and gave some to his wife. My friend and I sat down and watched the couple eating. We were confused because both had food but only the man was eating. My friend went over to the couple and asked "Sir why are you the only one eating?" the woman answered, "It�s not my turn with the teeth."
---------------
Santa Singh, who has a bad memory, goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. 'So, can you tell
us your age, please?'Santa counts carefully on his fingers for half a minute before replying. 'Um ... 28.' The interviewer tries
another straightforward one to break the ice. 'And can you tell us your height, please?' The man stands up and produces a measuring
tape from his handbag. He then traps one end under his foot and extends the tape to the top of his head. He checks the measurement
and announces, 'Five foot four!' This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the he won't have to
count, measure, or lookup. 'Just to confirm for our records, your name please?' Santa Singh bobs his head from side to side for
about fifteen seconds, mouthing some thing silently to himself, before replying, 'Santa Singh!' The interviewer is completely baffled
at this stage, so he asks, 'What were you doing when I asked you your name?' 'Oh, that!' replies Santa,' I was just running through
that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...''
---------------
Santa Singh who was very upset walked in to see his doctor. 'Doctor, you've got to help me!' he wailed.'What seems to be the
trouble?' asked the doctor. 'I keep having the same dream, night after night. There's this door with a sign on it, and I push and push
the door but I can't get it open.' 'What does the sign say?' asked the Doctor. 'Pull,' said Santa Singh.
---------------
After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of
the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa
and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had occupied his son's berth. Outraged, Santa
Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained, 'That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child.'
---------------
This Sardarji is driving a passenger train when all of a sudden he gets the train off the tracks, drives it into the nearby field and back
on to the rails. All this long the passengers are shocked and upon the next stop complain to the Station Master. An angry SM confronts
the Sardar who says, 'Saab main theekh hee chala rahatha jab main ne dekha ke ek aadmi tracks par khada hai'. But the SM retorts 'To
toone ek aadmi ke liye itnee logon ki jaane mushkil main daali, abe saale le jaana tha uske upar say'. 'Saab main bhi yehi socha lekin jab train nazdeek aayi to voh saala bhagnay laga', says the Sardarji.
---------------
A Sardar goes over to visit one of his friends. While he is at her friend's house it starts to rain very heavily the type that is not going
to stop. His friend tells him to spend the night at his house and go home the next day. When he hears this, he rushes out the door and
comes a while later totally drenched and carrying a small bag. So his friend asks 'Where did you run off too!' The Sardar says 'I went
home to get my pyjamas!'
---------------
A sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next
day three miles; the following day less than a mile. then the foreman asked the sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied
"I just can't do any better.Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can."
---------------
A sardar, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert.They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down,because they had
nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey.The japanese took the radiator, the britisher
took the seat, and the sardar took the door. After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring
the radiator?" The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty,I can drink the fluid. "Next the sardar asked the britisher "Why did you bring
the seat?" So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand.I can sit on this comfortable seat." Finally the japanese
asked the sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar quickly responded to this question,"Well, when I shall feel the need to get
some breeze in this summer all I have to do is roll down the window."
---------------
Once Sonia Rabri and Jaya were just talking among themselves when Rabri said: 'I have this 100 rupee note.
If I drop this from the plane then it will fall on the ground and one Indian will pick it up and so I can make one Indian happy.
So Sonia pulled out two 50 rupee notes and said : If I drop these two 50 rupee notes, I can make two Indians happy.
Lastly Jaya pulled out 100 one rupee notes and said: 'If I can drop all 100 one rupee notes,then I can make 100 Indians happy.'
Seeing all this hypocrisy the pilot could not resist himself and said: 'If I can drop all three of you from the plane, I can make one billion Indians happy'.
---------------
God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining his subordinates ........ "Look everything should be in balance.For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion. Look here my fellow angels,here is the country of the United States.I have blessed them with prosperity and money.But at the same time I have given them insecurity and tension And here is Africa.I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time,I have given them climatic extremes.... And here is South America.I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time,I have given them lesser land so that the would have to cut off the forests... So you see fellows, everything should be in balance."
One of the angels asked... "God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?" God said....... "Ahah...that is the crown piece of all.
INDIA , my most precious creation.It has understanding and friendly people. Sparkling streams,serene mountains.
A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live.Technologically brilliant and with a heart of gold....."
The angel was quite surprised "But god you said everything should be in balance."
God replied - "Look at the neighbours,I gave them."
---------------
Once a guy goes to a hotel. The waiter comes to take the order and looking at him, asks him , "Are you Chinese..". The guy politely
replies , "No, I am not". The waiter then brings the order and once again asks him. "Are you Chinese..". The guy replies , "No, I am
not". The guy has his food as the waiter returns to clean up the table , and once again has the same question. The guy, out of frustation shouts, "No, I am not". The waiter returns and after some time returns with the bill and asks the same question once again,
"Are you Chinese..". This time, the guy gets real wild and ends up wrestling with the waiter and shouting, " I have told you ten times, I am not, I am not...". They end up in an hospital where coincidentally their beds are beside. The guy is staring at the waiter and
the waiter at the guy. Suddenly the waiter asks the same question, "Are you Chinese ?..". Now the guy, who could not take it any more, replies " Yes , I am ..". "But you don't look like one ! ", the waiter exclaims...
---------------
Once an Englishman visits a Barber for an haircut. After the cut, he goes to the barber to pay for the cut. The barber replies , " Thanks ! I am just doing it for service". Thanks , says the Englishman and goes off. Next day, when the barber returns to the shop, he
finds a bouquet in front of the shop , with a note of thanks from the Englishman. Next a Frenchman visits the Barber for an haircut. After the cut, he goes to the barber to pay for the cut. The barber replies , " Thanks ! I am just doing it for service". Thanks ,
says the Frenchman and goes off. Next day, when the barber returns to the shop, he finds a bottle of perfume in front of the shop , with a note of thanks from the Frenchman. Next, an Indian visits the Barber for an haircut. After the cut, he goes to the barber to pay for the cut. The barber replies , " Thanks ! I am just doing it for service". Thanks , says the Indian and goes off. Next day, when the barber returns
to the shop, he finds a huge queue of Indians in front of the shop....
---------------
Once, Nehruji plans to visit a Mental Hospital. He visits each cell, one by one. When he comes across one of the cells, the in-charge of the hospital requests him not to visit that cell, as the patient in it is totally crazy and dangerous. Nehru insists on meeting that guy at any cost and advances towards the cell. He finds that the patient in it has his ears close to the wall, and it seems he is trying to hear something.
Curious enough, Nehruji goes to him and asks " What's that you are listening to ? ". The patient looks at Nehruji, gives a smile , says "Shhhh......" and continues to hear from the wall. After some time, Nehru once again asks " What are you listening to ? ".
The patient looks at Nehruji , says "Shhhh......" and continues to hear from the wall. Now Nehru gets real
curious and expects something funny behind the wall. He pulls behind the patient, and tries to listen to the wall, himself. 5 minutes, 10 minutes... He doesn't hear anything . Frustrated, he turns to the patient and says " I couldn't hear anything from the wall ". The patient replies, " I have been trying to hear the same since 15 days and couldn't hear anything yet. How could you expect to hear it in 10 minutes.....?"
---------------
Once Rajiv Gandhi visits a Mental Hosiptal. The warden warns him that he could visit all the cells except one, in which a very dangerous patient is kept. Curious and stubborn, Rajiv insists on visiting that cell. As Rajiv approaches the cell, the warden opens
the lock and the moment the door is opened, the crazy patient starts running like hell , behind Rajiv Gandhi. Shocked at the unexpected move and feared for life, Rajiv starts running in all directions , to avoid being caught by the fanatic . Failing all attempts, he finally starts climbing up a ladder, to the top of a roof, and to his surprise , the crazy creature is still following. Now Rajiv gets to the top of the roof and has no options left, as one step ahead would mean falling off from the roof. Panicked, he decides to wait for the fanatic's action instead. The
crazy guy approaches Rajiv touches him and says " Rajiv Gandhi out�."
---------------
A Surd is travelling in a railway, when the ticket collector comes in checking for the tickets. When asked for, the sardar pulls out two similar tickets from his , for the same destination. The TC surprisingly asks , "Sardarji, why did you buy two tickets ? " Sardar replies, I bought the second one just in case I lose the first one. The TC smilingly asks, "What if you lose both the tickets ? " . " I am also having
a pass for emergency..�, the Sardar replies showing the railway pass to the TC.
---------------
There are two neighbors, one of them fond of wandering around alone, visiting lots of places and the other very homely, seldom going out.. Once the freak-out guy asks the other : "Tumne Tajmahal Dekha ?" "Nahi Dekha ", he replies. "Kaise , dekhoge, ghar se bahar nikloge tab dekhoge na.." Next day, he asks : "Tumne Qutub Minar dekha hai ?" "Nahi Dekha ", he replies. "Kaise , dekhoge, ghar se bahar nikloge tab dekhoge na.." This continues for some days. Once when the freaker is about to ask a question to the other, the guy himself
asks him : " Tumne Ramlal ko dekha hai " ? "Nahi Dekha " "Kaise , dekhoge, ghar me rahoge tab dekhoge na.."
---------------
Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard : "One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four. ""Three and three... " His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms.Clara Jones had taught him to say that. His mother was rather upset and told him to stop doing
homework. The next day she approached Ms. Jones and told her what happened. The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Jones exclaimed, "Oh, Now I got it... here in school we say, "one and one,
the sum-of-which is two."
---------------
Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
---------------
Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to
Amritsar?"
Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
---------------
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He was not sure as to what to be filled there.after much thought he wrote :
:Yes
---------------
Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a
search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and
angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"
---------------
What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
---------------
What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ? (he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!
---------------
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh replied,"No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed." All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"
---------------
Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake
him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees,the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the
Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
---------------
A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks
him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema
hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
---------------
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?" " Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every 4th erson born on
the Earth now is a Chinese."
---------------
Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey
is missing; what are you thanking God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the
donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
---------------
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to he outer space .
The ground control issues commands
"Rubi!" "Woof!" ( its the barking sound "Press the red button.")"Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!" "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
"Sardarji!" "Woof." "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
---------------
Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the
Tower. Sardarji says "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same
street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Sardarji gives him thousand Rs. and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
---------------
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get
a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see
friend Banta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands,scared to death. He says, "Arre Banta Singh ! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"
---------------
Santa Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." " Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."
---------------
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man. "Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
---------------
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was
getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"
---------------
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies, "That is a
thermos flask." The sardar then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The sardar says, "I'll take it! "The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.His sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?" He said, "It's a thermos flask." The boss then says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
---------------
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