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| Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it" Proverbs 22:6 NKJV |
| Links for Parents: Center for Parent and Youth Understanding Parenting Teenagers Al Menconi Ministries Focus on the Family Youth Builders Plugged In |
| I started hearing voices in 1989. That was when I began listening full-time to the rapidly changing youth culture. I wasn�t listening to be entertained. I was listening because I wanted to know what our kids were hearing, how they were responding and how all this was impacting their beliefs and behaviors. I�m still listening to the voices and it should come as no surprise that they are getting louder. As I listen to the voices of today�s youth culture, I�m reminded of the heartfelt question of one concerned father I met a few years ago. He had attended one of our seminars on youth culture. Frustrated by trying to raise his son in a confusing youth culture, he asked me, �How can I expect my son to be able to hear the still small voice of God when all those other voices are screaming in his ears, �Come and follow, come and follow, come and follow?�� The man�s words have stuck with me. And in the time that�s passed, I�ve found myself often asking the same question as I�ve interacted with scores of concerned parents, and as I�ve gained my own experience in the parenting school of �hard knocks��a school that sits smack dab in the middle of a very real world. A recent study from Public Agenda reveals more about the struggles, concerns and frustrations so many of us feel as we try to instill Godly values in kids who grow up in a world where doing what�s right in your own eyes is increasingly viewed as a virtue. Overall, the study found that parents of children ages 5-17 don�t think they�re doing a very good job. Consider this small sampling of parents� perceived failures: � While 83 percent of parents say it�s vital to teach kids self-control, only 34 percent say they�ve been successful. � While 82 percent think it�s necessary to teach their kids to do their best in school, only 50 percent feel they�ve succeeded. � When it comes to teaching good money habits, 70 percent say they are essential while only 28 percent feel they�ve taught their kids those lessons. � 91 percent say honesty is non-negotiable, yet only 28 percent feel they�ve taught their kids honesty. Granted, there might be many variables contributing to these gaps between our parental desires and perceived reality. But judging from what I�ve seen happening in our culture, one factor is certain�the �other voices� keep getting louder. And if we as parents allow the increased volume to get to us, it will lead us to feelings of frustration and failure that can be paralyzing. In the worst case, we might throw up our hands in despairing surrender. With that in mind, there are three lessons I�ve learned�and am still learning�that I remind myself of every time I fall into the temptation of allowing healthy parental self-examination (�Lord, am I doing this right?�) to quickly deteriorate into unhealthy and paralyzing parental self-flagellation (�Can I do anything right?�). First, I�m not perfect and my kids aren�t perfect either. One of my most vivid boyhood baseball memories occurred on Father�s Day 1964. That was the day my hero, Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Jim Bunning, pitched a perfect game�allowing no runs, hits, walks or errors. That day wouldn�t be so special if perfect games were commonplace. But they�re rare. There are times when years pass before another major league pitcher throws a perfect game. Only a handful of pitchers have had the experience of pitching nine perfect innings. There are hundreds of others who have never accomplished the feat, but that doesn�t make them bad pitchers. And for those pitchers who have tasted �perfection,� not one of them ever threw nine innings of nothing but strikes. The fact of the matter is, Jim Bunning wasn�t a perfect pitcher, he just happened to have a pretty good day. Why is it that so many of us parents feel like failures when we or our children make a mistake? My guess is that we are disappointed because we expect ourselves and our children to be perfect, which is a very unrealistic expectation. Have you ever thought about the fact that there has only ever been one perfect parent, and even his first �perfect� children decided to rebel? And since that moment when sin entered the world, all parents and children�us included�have entered the world marred and polluted by sin. We aren�t, can�t and never in this life will be perfect! But since the beginning of time, God has used imperfect people to carry out his plan, and he will use them as they raise their children in spite of their imperfections! Granted, we should strive to bring glory to God in all we do and say. But, when (not if) we make mistakes, then we should rely on the grace of God to take us through the process of repentance, forgiveness and change. And when (not if) our kids fail, then we do well to follow the rule Christian psychologist Dr. John White followed in his relationship with his son who had �gone terribly wrong.� White says it this way: �As Christ is to me, so must I be to my children.� Second, kids don�t grow up overnight. Adolescence is a unique period of life. During that time, kids experience more earth-shaking change in every area of their lives�intellectual, physical, emotional, relational, spiritual�than they ever have or ever will experience again. Those changes take place over the course of several years. At the same time, they are looking for answers to the basic questions about life that will shape who they are, what they think and how they live as adults. Adolescent development is a long and confusing process, not an instantaneous magical moment of metamorphosis. Still, we parent as if once we say it, they should get it, they should agree with it and they should live it. Perhaps a more realistic approach would be to understand the principle that �sound travels slowly��sometimes what you say to them when they are 15, they might not hear until they are 25 years old! We should keep the parenting volume up, even though it might not seem like they hear us. Consistency is necessary. It takes time. We must be patient. And third, feeling inadequate might not be such a bad thing after all! I know from my own personal experience that I sometimes (more accurately �usually�) fail to live in total dependence on God. I try to parent with my own effort and willpower and then find myself tired, burned out and defeated. What I�and all parents�need to do is exercise total dependence on God. This requires that I realize I can�t do it on my own. I must acknowledge that I am painfully inadequate. Instead, I need to approach my role as parent with the same resolve the apostle Paul had about his ministry: �We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me� (Colossians 1:28-29, NIV). Parenting is hard work and involves many struggles. But through constant, active dependence on the God who never changes, we can live through and enjoy the teen years. With God�s help, we can and must keep plugging away! It�s been a joy to see that while I�ve been working to parent my kids, God has been parenting me. Hopefully, I�m growing up too. I�ve enjoyed being a dad. Has it been easy? No way! While I�ve loved the overall task, I haven�t enjoyed every single day of it. There have been some pretty hard ones. I�m sure there are many challenges I�ve yet to face. But somehow, someway�even in a culture that often throws stuff at our kids that is less than Godly�God is using you and me. Yes, they�re hearing voices. But let�s keep praying that the teens we live with will hear and answer his invitation�especially as issued through us to �come and follow me.� Editor�s note: One thing we�ve learned over the years is that there are no parenting experts�just fellow strugglers. One fellow struggler we�ve found to be especially encouraging and helpful is Dr. Paul Tripp. He�s written Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, the best book on parenting we�ve ever encountered. Tripp is practical, vulnerable, realistic, hopeful and biblically based. If you�d like to order a copy of Age of Opportunity for yourself or someone you know, please contact us at CPYU. The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding grants permission for this article to be copied in its entirety, provided the copies are distributed free of charge and the copies indicate the source as the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding. For more information on resources to help you understand today's rapidly changing youth culture, contact the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding. �2003, The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding |
| Hey, this isn't easy! by Walt Mueller |
| Things I've Learned From my Children (honest & no kidding) By an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. 3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room. 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. 6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late. 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.* 9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old. 11. Playdough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence. 12. Super glue is forever. 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water. 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O. 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving. 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is. 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. 20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time. 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. 22. It will, however, make cats dizzy. 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy. 24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs in her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said..'Holy cow! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. *25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. |
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| Parents, I hope your kids are as excited about this new year at youth as we are. Our church has gone through some changes this past year, and we have more instore. We have welcomed Jimmy Elliott as our new pastor. In the youth department, we have 2 new teachers: Sherry Elliott and Tim Jordan. We have been working to restructure the youth program to make it more beneficial to your child. We now have a classes for K-3rd grade, 4th - 6th grade, and 7th grade and up. We have also done some redecorating to make the classrooms more inviting. We would like to invite you to an open house on Sunday, Sept. 5th immediately after the morning service to come out and see the changes that we have made. We will also be planning some activities for the youth in the near future. Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to work with your child. If you have any questions about our youth program, please feel free to contact me. Crystal 546-8577 [email protected] |