Once upon a time there was a kingdom named Bluehickory. As with most kingdoms, Bluehickory had a king, a queen, and its peasants. The king, named King Sado was not happy for the peasants were revolting in more ways than one. See what happened was that King Sado ordered that the revolting peasants bathe, they were none to happy about this, and began to revolt. Then there was Chaos who brought King Sado a nibbler, and he gave the king specific instructions that to call forth the nibbler he must use the phrase "Bring me my nibbler." All seemed well with Bluehickory for the king was happy and busy so the peasants no longer had to bathe, and the peasants rejoiced. But all was not well in the castle for this left Queen Fellatio quite lonely, so Chaos brought her a nibbler as well and told her that she much use the phrase "Bring me my nibbler." Again all seemed well with the kingdom, and the peasants rejoiced, but Chaos knew the truth. He knew that the peasants didn�t know how to have fun and thus took it upon himself to teach them the art of chaos. He first showed them how to eat, the peasants rejoiced. He then showed them how to drink, the peasants rejoiced. The peasants would now eat, drink, and be merry, but Chaos knew something was missing. He then proceeded to teach the peasants how to party. Now the peasants really rejoiced for they had learned how to have fun, and Chaos looked upon his work and said it is good. Chaos then left, for with his work done he had no more chaos to cause and was off to find some other place in need of his�special talents.

Chapter 2: A New Friend

Chaos found himself on the Carar road, but only for a short time for Chaos always moved in a random direction for a random number of steps before changing to another random direction. He was in the woods, and then in the grass, then on the road, then a random path, then up in a tree, he flew for a while, jumped, skipped, rolled, and finally ended up at a crossroads where he sat in the middle waiting to figure out which way a random urge would make him wish to go. While sitting he was tripped over by a man in a strange outfit, this Chaos enjoyed for in his mind everyone should not dress the same. The man excused himself, saying, �Sorry didn�t see you there old chap.� To this Chaos said, �Don�t bother I�m fine and it was something out of the ordinary getting tripped over and all. What�s your name?� �They call me Jesterking,� responds the man. �I like it,� says Chaos, �I�m Chaos by the way.� �Interesting name, but hey, so what are you doing sitting in the middle of the road?� says Jesterking. �Oh just waiting for something to happen to make me want to go in one direction or the other,� says Chaos. �Right�well I�m going that way, you can come if you like,� says Jesterking. �Sure that sounds like a fine idea,� says Chaos and the two of them were off. As they went down the road, Jesterking with his silly walk and Chaos with his random direction, random number of steps, and random way of walking, they found that they had a lot in common. (Insert common stuff here)

Chapter 3: Multiple Chaoses

Eventually the two of them found themselves in a kingdom called Bambaataa. In Bambaataa fifty or so peasants had corned a lone warrior knight and were attacking him with their rocks, sticks, and pitchforks. �This simply will not do,� said Chaos, �we must furnish them with more interesting weapons.� But before Jesterking could disagree the knight had waded into the crowd and caused a massive turmoil as he actually started wining. �Well isn�t that different,� said Jesterking. �Hey solo fighter kicks many a peasant booty, I like it,� said Chaos. �Hey what�s your name?� Chaos screams over the screams of the crowd. Not missing a beat the knight says, �They call me Swordartist.� �Why can�t everyone have interesting names like that?� says Chaos, �I�m Chaos and this is Jesterking.� �Nice to meet you,� said Jesterking. �How �bout you hold off on killing the peasants and give us a crack at �em?� said Chaos. �Ummm, sure I guess,� said Swordartist. �Great,� said Chaos, �Hey people of Bambaataa you don�t have to fight, tell us what the problem is. The peasants responded telling Chaos that this knight had been sent by the king to collect taxes from them and they were tired of taxes so they were going to kill him to send the king a message. Chaos told the people that he would see the king and see what he could do. The peasants weren�t sure on whether to trust Chaos or not, but he had saved the lot of them from Swordartist so they agreed.

When Chaos saw the king, King Salamanda, and he found out that he was a sad man who had long since, according to Chaos, forgotten how to have fun. So Chaos vowed to show King Salamanda, something extremely special and he took him into the woods near the castle and with Jesterking�s help summoned the fair queen Zelda. Then Chaos asked Queen Zelda if she could cheer up the king. Queen Zelda said she could, and showed King Salamanda what true beauty was. Now that the king had seen true beauty he was able to appreciate what was around him, and he had more fun. With that the peasants rejoiced for now King Salamanda didn�t need their money to make him feel happy for the fairy queen had fixed his sadness and he had learned how to have fun. Chaos seeing that his work was done decided it was time to go and Jesterking followed thinking that this might just be the adventure he had been waiting for. On their way out of town, they are met by Swordartist, supplies in hand, who says, �With no taxes to collect the king said he was no longer in need of my services, so I�m out of the job. No matter I was getting bored there anyway. So where are you guys off to and do you mind if I join you?� �Don�t know and sure if you want to,� said Chaos. �Great. I think,� said Swordartist. Then Chaos said it was good and the three of them were off.

Chapter 4: Choppage

The three of them traveled down the road, well something like that anyway. Jesterking traveled with his silly walk, Chaos with his random number of steps in a random direction in a random way, and Swordartist actually traveling normally down the road. Swordartist once spoke of this saying, �What�s with you�re walks? Oh never mind.� They eventually came to the small town of Gmunden. Here too the peasants were angry, but these peasants were different, they attacked random people. Although Chaos enjoyed this fact all too much, it worried the others. �This is cool fearing for our lives at every second for they could attack us for no reason,� said Chaos. �Jesterking, do you think Chaos has problems?� said Swordartist. �What do you mean?� said Jesterking. �Ummm�never mind,� said Swordartist, as he had become accustom to saying when it came to these two. At this point Jesterking and Chaos made an attempt at convincing the peasants to rejoice. But no matter what they did or how hard they tried the peasants would not rejoice, so when the peasants started attacking them, Chaos and Jesterking sent their new friend Swordartist to cause chaos in a way only he could. And there was much chaos as Swordartist sent many heads of peasants rolling. Then Chaos said it was good and the three of them made their way to their next adventure.

(At this point we will fast forward a few years as our hero Chaos and friends are immortal and to tell their entire story would take too long)

Chapter 5: The Quest for the Intergalactic Toothbrush

"I don't know about this, guys," said Jesterking. "Oh come it can't be that bad," said Chaos, "fine you stay here with SwordArtist and I'll go in." Without waiting for a reply Chaos entered the Cave of (insert Cave name here). It was dark and dismal in the cave and the only light was a dim glow coming off the top of a large pedestal in the middle of the large room he had entered. Chaos started climbing the pedestal knowing the great treasure that lay at the top. At the top, as he had anticipated, was the glowing Intergalactic Toothbrush. He grabbed it and ran from the cave, yelling, "I got it guys, check it out." Once outside he decided to see what it could do, and finding the car of a friend of his, he pointed the toothbrush at the ground in front of it and said, "Grow." With this some grass began to grow in front of the car, and the longer he pointed it the more grass grew, and with every consecutive "Grow" the grass grew into larger plants. First into a bush and then into a small tree and finally it grew into a large tree. Chaos then repeated the process to the back and sides of the car blocking his friend in, and laughing the whole time. The others were astonished at this feat, and they too began to laugh.

Chapter 6: The Loss of the Intergalactic Toothbrush

Chaos's friend then returned to his car and in the commotion Chaos set the Intergalactic Toothbrush on a chair, and began explaining to his friend that it was only a joke. While he was trying to calm his friend down, who apparently had an urgent appointment somewhere and needed his car, a mischievous girl named Rasputina came and picked up the toothbrush. She then returned home where she attempted to use the Intergalactic Toothbrush to carve her initials on the side of a moose. When the moose turned and bit her she dropped the Intergalactic Toothbrush and ran home. The moose also ran, taking the Intergalactic Toothbrush with it. In all her pain Rasputina didn't think about the Intergalactic Toothbrush, and when she went back for it later she realized that the moose had taken it with him, and she feared it was gone. She decided right then that she wouldn't tell a soul about the Intergalactic Toothbrush, but her sister, Atinupsar, had seen the entire thing and asked her later where she had found the toothbrush. Not wishing to lie to her sister, Rasputina told her everything. Atinupsar felt bad for what her sister had done, both to Chaos and to the moose, and said that if she ever saw Chaos she would tell him.

Chapter 7: The Search for the Intergalactic Toothbrush

Six months passed and Chaos had looked for the Intergalactic Toothbrush on and off constantly (This is Chaos we're talking about), and one day he ran into Atinupsar, and she told him what had happened. Chaos forgave her sister, but was deeply distressed. Just when it seemed he had a lead, he turns outs to be right where he started. But on a whim Chaos made an accusation, he claimed that a llama standing nearby had stolen the toothbrush. As luck would have it the llama responded with, "I don't know what you're talking about." Chaos, realizing that normal llamas don't talk, decided that something fishy was going on. After pursuing this theory further Chaos realized that this llama truly did have the Intergalactic Toothbrush, and was planning to use it to take over the world. Just as Chaos was about to attack the llama it was pulled into a giant flying ship and then the ship disappeared into the distance. Chaos asked around and found out that the llama had been at this place many times and that it's name was (Insert llama name here), but no one was certain as to where the llama came from or where it went. Chaos said that was ok because he had a plan.

Chapter 8: The Fellowship of the Toothbrush (Santa, Swordartist, Jesterking, and Chaos unite)

Chaos went home where he then got on the telephone and called up a few of his old friends. He called Swordartist and Jesterking knowing that they would help him. "Hey guys you know that really cool toothbrush I had?" said Chaos. "You mean the intergalactic toothbrush?" Jesterking said rolling his eyes. "Yeah that's the one, the llamas have it," said Chaos. "The llamas?" Jesterking said shaking his head, "How do you come up with this stuff? Yeah we'll be right over." "Llamas? Intergalactic toothbrush?" said Swordartist. "Don't ask," said Jesterking. With that they headed over to Chaos's house, where Chaos briefed them on the situation, at least that's was what it was supposed to be. In all actuality it turned in the some random babbling by Chaos, as do most of his conversations. But anyway it was discussed and they decided that they were going to need more help on this one, of course Chaos had already thought of that. He walked to his chimney and whistled, with that Santa appeared. "Wow, how did you get Santa to help you?" said Jesterking and Swordartist with wide eyes. "He owed me a favor," said Chaos with a smile. Santa told them that they had full use of his resources, the elves, the shop, the command post, and even the sleigh. "Great, looks like we're ready to go get that toothbrush. Let's get to the Northpole Command Post, everyone hop in the sleigh, I'm driving," Chaos said looking like a kid on Christmas morning.

Chapter 9: The Twin Turkeys

On their arrival at the north pole command post, Chaos immediately started barking out orders, "I need all the elves to start work on a new battle technology, tell them to be...inventive. Also bring me two of your best people, I need some trackers, and SOMEBODY FIND ME THAT MOOSE!" "We have already called our best two out, their being briefed as we speak, and the elves have already started the planning stages of something I think you'll like," said Santa. "Good, take me to the trackers," said Chaos. Santa lead Chaos to his best two "people" but it just so happened that his best two people were turkeys, Chaos loved this idea, "Great, they'll never expect turkeys to be tracking them. What about the moose?" "We've already located him, we've got a squad of elves moving in on him now," said Santa. "Good, as soon as they have him I want to know about it, and have the turkeys start tracking that llama," said Chaos. "They're flight is warming up and they're on their way to Outfitting and Supplies right now," said Santa.

Chapter 10: The Return of the Intergalactic Toothbrush

It wasn't long and the turkeys were on the trail of the toothbrush, they traced it deep into Russia, where Chaos and the others lost their signal. It was feared that all was lost, then Chaos had an idea. It seems the moose was in the area, single handedly holding off a squad of elves. "Put me through to the moose," said Chaos. "Yes sir," said Santa. "Mr. Moose, I have a proposition for you. I need your help, I can get the elves to leave you alone," said Chaos. "Sounds good, but what else do you have to offer?" said the moose. "I just want the toothbrush, whatever else the llamas have is yours. It's rumored that they have stolen a shipment of marshmallows using the toothbrush," said Chaos. "Marshmallows!!! WooHOO, I'm in, what do I do?" said the moose. "I need you to track the toothbrush, our trackers stopped responding right around your current location," Chaos said. "Can do," said the moose. With the elves returning to base, the moose started his own search, it didn't take him long to locate the llama's home base, if its one thing this moose could do it was sniff out marshmallows. He relayed the location to Chaos who rallied his troupes and prepared for battle. It was also discovered what had happened to the turkey spies, apparently the llama's Russian spies with bad accents had been tracking the turkey's and now the llamas were having the turkeys for Christmas dinner. "How preposterous! You should have ham with Christmas dinner," said Santa as he and the others mourned for the loss of their comrades. "Hold your location Mr. Moose, we'll be there as soon as we can," said Chaos. "Roger," said the moose, drooling over the site of all of the llama's marshmallows.

Chapter 11: A Strange Hope: The Chicken War Begins

"Ok guys, lets suit up, it's time," said Chaos, as he dawned his battle gear. Over his shirt, with one sleeve, he put on his armor with large and small spikes jutting in random directions from random locations. He then put on his mismatched boots, fitting them over his randomly colored, patched, leather and who knows what pants. He then moved his lucky necklace to the outside of his armor, tied his cape, and put on his gloves. Just as he was finishing, an elf runs up and says, "Wait, we've finished. Follow me." Uh ohs and hurrahs were heard all around, but everyone followed anyway. The elf lead them to the workshop, where they had some assorted targets set up, different materials and shapes, large and small. The elf turned and said, "We didn't want to do anything until you saw them." He then turn to a table covered with a white sheet and pulled it off, unveiling what looked like a small saddle with canisters on either side. He then whistled and a large chicken came running up, and three elves saddled the chicken with the apparatus. When it was all said and done the chicken had two nasals, one on either side of its head, connected to hoses that went back and connected to the packs. It also had what looked like a booster system jetting from underneath it, along with a saddle on top of it all, where an elf was now sitting. "We've been training these chickens for quite sometime and I think you'll like what we've done," said the elf. He then directed the chicken to one of the targets, and said, "Fire," and with this the chicken clucked, moving a trigger mechanism attached to its beak causing fire to shoot from both sides of its head. The target was toasted, instantly. He then said, "Fly" and when the chicken started flapping it's wings, yet another switch, designed to take effect when it started flapping, was triggered, igniting the booster and causing the chicken to fly at tremendous speeds around the room. "COOL!!!" was all Chaos could say, as the others only looked on in awe. "It starts," said Swordartist.

Chapter 12: The Llamas Stike Back

Chaos instructs the elves to mount up, and ready their strike team. In the meantime he, Swordartist, and Jesterking were going to go covertly and infiltrate the llama's headquarters. Santa said he could probably help them with that, he then took the phone and called one of his agents, "He should be here in a few minutes, trust me he'll be a great help." In a few minutes a short man showed up introducing himself as Igmar. "Ok let's go," said Chaos. Santa flew them to just outside of the compound, and dropped them off. They then began their trek to the llama's lair, it quickly became evident that the llamas were expecting their arrival...either that or then just didn't like salesman. They encountered traps all along the way, but Igmar proved his wealth, he either found, or tripped all the traps along the way. While disabling one of them he managed to set himself on fire. As he ran around screaming the others had a good laugh, until Chaos decided to put him out by throwing a large stone at him. When Igmar woke up he was pretty sore, but was still ready to go farther. Finally they came to the door to the llama's compound, Igmar noticed that there was a trap on the door. Of course this didn't stop him from tripping it and getting a nasty electric shock. When he woke up he said, with a puff of smoke out of his mouth, "Door's Safe." With this the others stepped through the door followed by Igmar. They found themselves in a large room, and there in the middle was a stand that held the Intergalactic Toothbrush. "I think this is a trap," said Igmar. "What was your first clue?" said Jesterking. "Well, I'm up for it," said Chaos as he took off towards the Intergalactic Toothbrush, and before the others could stop him the llamas and their people were all around them all. Swordartist managed to take out a few of them (more like a dozen), Jester confused another half dozen with his logic, Chaos actually started taking some out then decided to set Igmar on fire again and then decided to take them out again....he didn't take out many, and Igmar managed to get one of them with his pistols before running around like crazy trying to put out Chaos's fire. But inevitably the massive force managed to overwhelm them, and they were captured. The llamas were still gloating, when Chaos radioed the elf force to attack.

Chapter 13: The Return of the Chickens

The elf force came in a massive cloud of feathers and a lot of clucking, the llamas not doubting anything weird as being Chaos's doing ran to shelter taking the Intergalactic Toothbrush with them. (Warning to the logic and or weak minded the next part involves lots and lots of words that ramble on and on, you have been warned) In came the not so multipurpose elves with no so silly radar and funny exploding radios riding evil undead suicidal silly walking rocket launched flying flame throwing exploding multipurpose chickens dropped on an exploding Bob Marley from Santa's sleigh high over head to defeat the llamas and reclaim the Intergalactic Toothbrush. And there was much fighting and gnashing of teeth...I mean beaks. The llama's fired the toothbrush, the chickens breathed fire, Chaos and the others boarded the sleigh to survey the battle from the sky, but the llama's used the moose/marshmallows as ammo in a giant catapult and shot down the sleigh. This was a big mistake though for now SwordArtist was among the ground forces...I'll just leave out the gory details of that. Jesterking and Chaos managed to commandeer a chicken each, they then had the time of their lives. Igmar not knowing what else to do managed to set himself on fire and charge into battle. It definitely wasn't a short battle but eventually Chaos and the others won back the Intergalactic Toothbrush, and everyone was happy again, but Santa insisted that Chaos leave the Intergalactic Toothbrush at the North pole for safe keeping, knowing how scatterbrained Chaos was, and it was forever placed in a secret underground safe somewhere in the North pole base. Then our heroes partied like there was no tomorrow, but then there was a tomorrow and Chaos was bored again...."Won't this ever end," said SwordArtist....

Chapter 14: Episode 1: The Dentist Menis (the origin of the Toothbrush)

Now we will step back in time a few years, to find out more about this Toothbrush. Once upon a time there was an Intergalactic Dentist. He was a good dentist, but completely out of his mind, and decided that he wanted everyone in the universes teeth to be clean. So he sat down and started planning out an instrument to do this, and he ended up designing the most perfect, and most powerful toothbrush the universe had ever seen. What he didn't count on though was that with every good quality there is an equal bad quality. It turns out that this powerful toothbrush could be used to control all the teeth in the universe, and since all atoms have teeth, it could control or do anything. When he started the long and drawn out process of cleaning all the teeth in the universe the first teeth he cleaned were that of two llamas. They weren't sure what had happened but they did know it involved something very powerful, and they wanted it very badly. So they watched and as people whose teeth he had cleaned started talking of their great and cleansed teeth, the llamas found a pattern and followed the trail. Eventually they caught up with the Intergalactic Dentist, and saw that this powerful instrument was a toothbrush, and they deemed it the Intergalactic Toothbrush, after its inventor. Then they started plotting the theft of the toothbrush.

Chapter 15: Episode 3: Theft of the Toothbrush

It came to me in a dream.....

The llamas moved in on the dentist's office, it was a large complex with guards and traps all over the place surrounded by a huge parking lot with a few trees in some places. They managed to secure a room at a cabin across the parking lot and established surveillance. After a few days of watching they figured out that the dentist kept the toothbrush in the closet of his room in the western wing of the complex. They also figured out that he left for lunch at noon everyday and his room was unguarded at that time, thus they formulated their plan. They would wait until dark and sneak into the complex and make their way to his room, where they would hide in the closet until noon the next day, take the toothbrush, and then get out as soon as possible. So it was settled, they ran up to the complex and knocked on the front door, promptly running to the back door and letting themselves in, they then quietly made their way past the guards and traps to the western wing bedroom where they hid under some dirty clothes in the closet. At noon the next day, the dentist opened the closet and put the toothbrush in, then promptly left. Seeing the opportunity the llamas quickly grabbed the toothbrush and starting making their way out of the room. The dentist apparently forgetting something stepped back into the room, and got a great look of surprise when he saw the toothbrush in the hands of the llamas. He quickly turned on the security system and large sharp sideways axes came out of the ceiling, obviously made to cut the heads off of victims. The llamas ran as fast as they could dodging traps along the way all the way to the front door.

Chapter 16: Episode 2: The Attack of the Llamas

Yes I do have weird dreams.....

Once out the door they ran across the parking lot as fast as they could, but right on their toes where the tap dancing penguin clones. "TAP DANCING PENGUINS!!! TAP DANCING PENGUINS!!!" penguins in unison, was all they heard along with the sound of the penguins shoes that actually shook the ground when they danced towards them. To make matters worse the penguins were chewing up all foliage in the area, the trees, grass, and even the sidewalks were being devoured. The llamas quickly ran to the cabin where they had all their gear, grabbed in and then ran outside to get in their get away car, but the penguins had disappeared. All trees, grass, and well everything was gone, except for the complex, the cabin, and their car.... but where were the penguins? As the llamas stood their looking at each other dumbfounded, as llamas often do, the penguins dropped out of the air (yes these penguins can fly) and devoured one of the llamas, the other three ran for the car, but another was taken down on the way. Finally in the car the other two drove away, easily outrunning the penguins, and it was done, the toothbrush was theirs.

Chapter 17: Chicken War II, CWII (back to the present)

I'm going to make this one short, let's just say Chaos has alot of chickens that could both fly and breath fire, Santa's elves, and there were still evil llamas loose in the world.

Chapter 18: Chaos vs the Lawful DM's Weasel

Yeah so sometime after all the llamas were destroyed/forced into hiding, a new nemesis appeared. Apparently a Lawful DM had heard of Chaos's escapades, and decided that anything that chaotic in the universe had to be stopped before everything was destroyed as he knew it. He sent his number one henchman his weasel to take care of Chaos. Chaos and Jesterking were wandering down the street looking for something interesting to do, when the weasel jumped him and started biting Chaos's nose. Chaos said "Fuzzy!!!" and started laughing, Jesterking also started laughing. The weasel baffeled, for he was a hairless weasel, ceased his attack, "Huh?" "What?" said Chaos. "WEEEEE!!!" said Jesterking. "You said fuzzy, why? What? Weeee? Huh?" said the weasel. "Chewy!" said Chaos. The weasel was starting to get frustrated, he wasn't used to dealing with non-lawful people, "Stop it!!!". "Needs salt," said Chaos. Jesterking stood on his head and started spinning. "AHHHH!!!!" screamed the weasel holding his head with both his paws. "Did you know that if you turn the Z's in fuzzy sideways you get funny?" said Chaos. "Dude!!!!" said Jesterking. *POP* the weasel's head exploded in a large cloud of confetti. "what happened?" said Jesterking. "Fuzzy logic overload?" said Chaos. "Ahhhhhh!!" said Jesterking. "Well that was entertaining, but now what?" said Chaos to Jesterking. "Onward!!!!" said Jesterking.

More coming soon

Don't worry it doesn't end here.