Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend : Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

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Father : Abraham Lincoln studied very hard at your age, Son.That is why he could be a great person.
Son : Dad, but he became the President of the United States at your age (52 years old)!

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Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil : The moon.
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.

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Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.

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Waiter : Would you like your coffee black?
Customer : What other colors do you have?

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My father is so old that when he was in school,history was called current affairs.

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Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot.
Sam : It's a family tradition.
Teacher : What do you mean?
Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher : What about your mother?
Sam : She's a woman.

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Tom: How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?
David : You just send a telegram : Result declared,past year's performance repeated.

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Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.

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Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

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Patient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor?
Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died.

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Teacher : Can anybody give an example of "Coincidence"?
Student : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.

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Teacher : George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?
Student : Because George still had the axe in his hand.