Loving you has never been easy for me.
Like fighting a war that I know I'll never stand a chance to win.
I'll never give up a single hope to win it,
Because I know without you, my life will become empty again.
I have been so scared of getting hurt again.
But I know if there is no pain then there is no gain.
This is a war not only against you.
It is also against my own.
Finally, I have won the war that against myself; but I am losing the war against you.
It wasn't a long journey, but it seems like a long time for me.
It has been so hard and difficult for me to fight a war with no one supporting me.
The only thing keeps me going is the love I have for you.
You have a huge and strong wall surrounding you, which I can never break into.
You put yourself into it, doesn't matter how hard I hit on it and knock on the door.
I can still never break in.
Sometime, I thought I have finally broken a tiny hole on the wall.
But soon again I realized it's only because you feel pity for me.
So soon again the hole will just recover back with the speed I can never follow up.
Now I have lost the complete war. I have come to the end and I know is finished.
However, I have never regretted to go for it.
Because I know, if the war starts again I will still try to fight it again.
And I will win next time.
Sean Tan
2002
