Hi. I'm sure I'm not sending this to the right address, but hopefully it'll find its way to you. This may seem a little awkward but I guess I just wanted to let you know that I think about you and I hope that everything in your life is working out and that you are happy. Last night I drug out all the letters I had saved that you had written me. They were kinda hard to go through (I had to stop after a while), but they made me realize that I still cared about you and miss you, and this letter is a result of. They also showed me how self centered, selfish, and stupid I was during the course of our friendship. I know I am to blame for the outcome of what we had. So if it's any consolation, I deeply apologize. You were always there for me and I feel like I wasn't there for you when you needed it. Basically, I was an asshole, inadvertently looking out for my own interests. Some of the letters made me realize how much you cared about me then. I can't understand why I never figured that out when it mattered. I just feel sad about it all.
I'm not sure how you'll feel about all this, but I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgotten about you and that I wish we were still friends. Maybe you couldn't careless and find this irrelevant, but maybe we could get to know each other again? I didn't write you cuz I was feeling nostalgic, I just realized after all this time that I had something I shouldn't have never let go.
I've been doing pretty good. Everything has been very stable for the past year or so. Too stable, maybe. I'm just such a busy person anymore, not all by choice. School, work, politics, bands, etc. I don't want to bore you with the details of my life, but I?m doing well.
Weston thinks about you a lot too. He is living in Grand Junction again. For a while he lived in Dallas, TX but he went home to pursue college. He seems to be doing pretty well and I talk with him quite frequently. He wanted me to give you his address cuz he's curious to what your up to as well. Funny thing is, I don't have it. His mom still lives at the same address if that helps, if you want to contact him. His email address is [email protected].
It seems like we've gone through this thing with each other too many times to care, but I still do. I know wev'e had about as much drama as two friends could ever have. It always seemed like when my feelings for you were very strong, yours weren't. But when you felt really close to me, it wasn't reciprocated. It was all bad timing. I just remember how I felt about you and despite all the confusion throughout the friendship, I had a connection with you that I've shared with few people. But if this is an uncomfortable situation that I'm putting you in, I'll understand if you don't reply.
Take care.
Channing