I've started this is as a way to become more involved in the independent music scene that I haven't really participated in for the past few years. When I was in high school I had been very active in the punk community. Since then my tastes and ideologies with music have matured, and I still feel the need to participate in something that I love (music), even if it isn't band related. Hopefully I can entertain, as well as offer a new perspective on the things around me. In the future, there will be more interaction between Weston and I, as we'll collaborate on stories and topics that parallel our interest, without being too exclusionary. This is his 4th issue of Junktown, and if you enjoy his writing as much as I do, email me or him and hopefully I can score you some back issues.
I just recently moved to the Fargo-Moorhead area and I'm trying to adjust to my new surroundings. There are plenty more things to do here compared to my old stomping grounds in Bismarck and Wyoming. In the realm of music, there are more shows, variety of faces, venues, and types of bands to see. This seems to come at a price, as the scene is somewhat divided into cliques. There are some good shows once in a while, but they're met with sparse crowds and a lack of enthusiasm. It could have something to do with marketing. Maybe its just due to a lack of interest. I'm sure my perspective is obscured from my background in other local scenes. Growing up in Wyoming and being a part of the scene in neighboring Casper (the only realistic place for Weston and I to go to shows), there was basically only one place to go to see shows. It forced people to come together and tolerate each other, because there was no alternative. Show attendance was usually high and the diversity inspired enthusiastic crowds and some pretty intense brawls. Any local band could play, no matter how crappy they were, and any dork could feel like they fit in. Of course Casper is more like the size of Bismarck, so I'm used to more of a community-oriented scene. Anyhow, I'm not trying to trash the F-M scene, its just that when I see potential for something better, its hard to keep my mouth shut. Also, I've noticed that when everything is divided into cliques, it makes it harder for someone on the outside to find a place to fit in. Speaking of which...
I'm a new student at NDSU and so far I've encountered a hostile, competitive, and a closed-minded atmosphere on campus. Apparently this is also the consensus of the non-NDSU acquaintances I have. I am confronted by rude comments and teasing on a daily basis, usually in the form of people calling me a fag. However, this isn't anything new for me. In high school my nickname was fag. It's actually surprising because I didn't expect the homosexual label to follow me this long. Anyhow, I enjoy living on campus because it happens to be quite convenient, but I feel like I'm perpetually stuck in negative surroundings. One thing that I noticed is that people try hard not to make eye contact with you when you walk by. No one will acknowledge your existence, or say hi in return. I feel at war with everyone around me and I'm starting to develop a "fuck every unfriendly person here" attitude. Even if someone tries to be nice to me, I'm suspicious and often pass them off as being sarcastic. I could transfer to MSUM at semester, and benefit from a more laidback atmosphere, and maybe find like-minded people to hang out with. But it seems like too much work to move again. Meanwhile, I'm actually starting to find this NDSU experience quite benefiting, and slowly learning how to utilize the situation. Not making friends has provided an isolation vacuum that has allowed me a lot of free time to pursue (hopefully) worthwhile projects, like this zine. I'm finding inspiration all around me, and trying to turn a negative into a positive. Maybe I would have more fun at MSUM, making at least a few friends, spending time killing braincells and chasing girls. But I'm sure I could benefit from a little structure and discipline in my life at this point.
So my affair with Fargo-Moorhead has been a love-hate relationship so far. Right now, I'm still trying to figure out what is more important: Socializing, forming relationships, and making some memories, etc. Or is burrowing myself in my room and avoiding the inevitable bullshit that comes along with dealing with friends and starting relationships; all the while, focusing on projects that provide other ways to communicate with people? Perhaps I need to find a balance. Unfortunately my social skills have gone to crap lately. Its like I have autism or something and I think its spilling over into my writing. Perhaps I'll try to put a picture of myself in this thing and hopefully you more socially inept people can approach me at a show, or a grocery store, or wherever. Or you can email me at [email protected], and we can exchange our company.