As we celebrate the anniversary of the Great Victorious Election, we cannot rest on our laurels. I am constantly reminded that not all comrades have understood the great truths revealed by Gatesist-Taxinist thought. For the benefit of all progressive forces, I offer a summary of the Five Basic Principles.

1. The future is more glorious than the past! As I told you last November: “Go back and check the first book by Microsoft's Bill Gates. That shows the makeup of the past and the components of the future have very little in common. Therefore any attempt at predicting the future, based either on existing economic textbooks or on number-crunching to try to establish a trend will be futile.”

Regrettably there are benighted people who do not understand this profound truth. We have economists who study the past and think they can predict the future. We have bankers who look at their books and believe they can see eight years ahead. How can they know the future when it hasn’t happened yet!

In this new era, we have started to put this folly behind us. We put up monuments, not to remember the past, but to forget it. Soon all universities will wither away, except Taxin University which alone is dedicated to the principles of Gatesist-Taxinist Thought. Soon the banks will go to the dustbin of history, except the Thai Military Bank.

2. Billionairism is the highest form of capitalism! In the past, our country had the misfortune to be run by salary men. Of course the economy did not grow, because salary men don’t make anything. But now the country is lucky to be run by businessmen. In fact, by some of the biggest businessmen we have. Even the great Gates has not imagined such a wonderful event. Some people wonder if these businessmen will run the country as a profit-centre. But as I told these confused critics: “Some of you don't even know how to do business. So how do you justify having opinions in the first place?”

3. Interest is indivisible, standards are single! There are some who think the interests of state and business are in conflict. This is a crass misunderstanding of the holism at the heart of the great dialectic. It is impossible to have power without money. It is impossible to have money without power. There is not conflict, only unity. For those who grasp this magnificent synthesis, there is only a single standard and a single interest. As I said over a decade ago, “Politics and business are inseparable, like the earth which would get too hot if it moves closer to the sun and too cold if it moves too far away.”

4. Through business lies the route to the Great Leap Forward! We are determined to bring the Great Leap Forward to the communes. Some people say that our policies are socialism or populism to help the peasants. Such opinions are the result of shallow, non-business thinking. The principles of the Great Leap Forward are very clear. Big growth can only come from big business. That is why big business needs big power. But if the people in the communes are not peaceful, then the Great Leap Forward will falter.

As I told the International Capitalist Plenary in Hong Kong, we have to “solve the problem of poverty of the majority” and “reduce the socio-economic gaps between the poor and the well-to-do” for one simple reason: “to ensure social cohesion and political stability, which will enable economic recovery and growth.”

Our policy is not to help the peasants and workers. No! We want to turn the peasants and workers into capitalists. We give them People’s Banks and SME Banks and rehabilitation funds and venture capital and debt relief and revolving funds and one-village-one-product schemes. We shower them with money. How can they resist becoming capitalists? Then they will understand that their interests are the same as big businessmen who are their masters. Then they will realise why so much state revenue is used to help business. Then we will have perfect harmony and stride confidently towards an ever-profitable future.

5. The United Front is the hope of the people! The path towards Utopia is never straight and smooth. There are dangers at every turn. There are enemies who don’t understand Gatesist-Taxinist Thought, and who are jealous of our success. I refer of course to the detestable Ju-an/Ta-lin clique, the running dogs of the IMF. I refer to the infamous, benighted, fellow-travelling Ti-Di-Ri. I refer to the miserable Yoon-Yong clique whose scribblings deserve only to litter the gutters.

It is because of these enemies of truth that last year we adopted the policy of United Front. We welcomed into our party Old Mole, the great warlord of the eastern frontier, general of the heavy truck brigade.

Now a year later, I’m proud to announce: The United Front is dead! Long live the Even More United Front! We open our hearts to Old General Big Little, veteran of the Long March.

Some of you cadres may wonder why we have to ally with people who were once our enemies at the barricades. Some question whether all these new friends embrace Gatesist-Taxinist Thought. I must ask the cadres to be patient. The revolution is not won in a single day. With the Ever More United Front, we have a base in the southern borderlands, right in the rear of the bandits of the Ju-an/Ta-lin clique. Soon we will execute a pincer movement, and drive them into the sea!

Thank you for your attention. Normally I would ask you to join me in singing the revolutionary anthem. But the Little Helmsman, Pu-la-xi, people’s commissar for social order, tells me this is not appropriate. We will not sing, drink, dance, karaoke until we have led the people into one united, profitable, national corporation. Forward!