Chapter 1: “Childhood, Teenage or adolescence?” with Dorado
Rodriguez
Hey guyz n gals,
my name’s Dorado Rodriguez and I reside in Arzua, Spain but am on holidays to
Hawaii with the most touchy, excruciating cousins you’d ever known. Well,
exasperating as their nature was I decided to give them a piece of my mind today
to straighten them up but with my siblings integrated with them I tried but
couldn’t stand a chance. Elvis & Verona Rodriguez are my siblings (younger
to me, duh!) and amalgamated with my cousins their mighty morphine potency
boosts up! Well, I tried but....... Let me tell you all about it!
Okay, here we
go..... it was a cheerful, bright Sunday morning (not for long) and I was
sprawling on my chair in my pajamas, mind you it was 10:35 am in the morning and
for me it was 5:30 in the morning, nevertheless, my vexing brother suddenly
jumped on me which caused my lens to crack, how? I (the stupidest) kept my
contact lenses in a small tub of water in my lap which fell, resulting in a
splash of water and my lens cracked.
I was so infuriated that I felt like hitting him but somewhat
my reflexes recalled my father scolding me hard for having a brawl with my bro.
“What is the matter, chicken face?” I snapped, sobbing heavily inside for my
lens. “Juanita and Fayette are coming big bro; you are so busted outta
here!” Elvis craftily replied. Okay, so I’m definitely not going to enjoy
this. “I’m gonna plan this visit my way. This is the day I show them whose
boss.” I thought having picturized my freckled faced, braced up, red haired
and cheeky, cheap cousins begging me for mercy. Well, I thought, it’s good to
see dreams, isn’t it? But not for long.
After quite a
while, The Lopez’s’ car was spotted in distance. My cousins were going to
arrive, God save me, I prayed. The moment had finally arrived, the spacious
Lexus of the Lopez’s’ (My uncle’s family, remember Juanita and Fayette)
screeched in front of our driveway. “Hola, Irtipara! (My mom), Buenaventura
Verona! Como estás?” Aunt Carolina barged into our house after Verona had
answered the doorbell for them and embraced my mom or rather squeezing her in
the most agonizing way. Followed by Juanita and Fayette in the most obsolete
outfits and braced teeth with freckled faces, no one in their right minds could
guarantee they looked cute. “Hey, brace-face!” I commented, looking somewhat
impressed with my deprecating remark. “No-one asked you to comment, dorky
Gordo!” Fayette snapped. “I hate themmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!” I felt inside.
Now, after taking
a deep breath and thinking about a thousand times roaming about in the bathroom,
(my room was in a chaotic situation with Juanita, Fayette, Verona & Elvis
jumping on the bed, tearing my magazines apart and hiding in my wardrobe).
“Guyz, there’s something in the world needed strictly by teenagers, and
it’s called solitude which I happen to have only traces of, when I’m in the
bathroom which thank god is consent but I need more of it!” I demanded, it’s
every person’s right to receive privacy, but I returned with a dejected look.
Nevertheless, the
four had tried my endurance and I seemed to swallow it, but not for long! I made
up my mind to turn them out of my terrain. “That’s it! I’ve had it with
you rascals. Get out of my room!!!!!!!!!!!” I shouted and then whacked Fayette
in this face. “Momma, gordo......he hit mmmmeeee!” complained Fayette
bursting into tears. “Brat!” I felt. I’m in big-time trouble!! I thought.
It’s not that Aunt Carolina was some over-protective MOM but just like the
other mothers she couldn’t stand her children being insulted or prejudiced for
that matter even if it is her own husband, poor ol’ Uncle Renaldo, must be
spiritually dead until now, eh!
“Dorado, haou
dare vous hi’ Fayette in ze fayyese!”Screeched Aunt Caralina in the most
pathetic accent of English, she was a Spanish teacher but as we weren’t as
well versed in the language, she managed to somehow make out the words. “They
weren’t listening to Dorado neither did you people! Those brats were jumping
on Dorado’s bed and broke it (forgot to mention before) and if you think that
your children are perfectly perfect then you’re on the wrong track”. Wow,
Mrs. Shakespeare Rodriguez on the groove! Who? It’s my mom on the rescue! Go
mom, go mom, it’s your birthday, it’s your birthday, mom totally sided with
me, whatever the situations were but only when she thought the iron was hot
enough.
“Fy do him not plaie witz Fayette and Kuwanitya” Aunt
Carlaina exclaimed. “Zey are kids vous know! Zees sings can happen.” She
boasted after being cheered up by her cheerleaders Juanita and Fayette behind.
“Elfish and Verona haff no problem then fy does Dorado haff?” she said with
a stern look. “Dorado, just bear them for a while, will you please for my
sake” said Mom in my ear. “Pure estás! Mom I’m fourteen and those bunch
of brace-face brats make the most out of moi!” I remarked looking quite
hopeful for an agreement. “Just do it!” she ordered under her breath.
So, okay I ended
up watching “Barney” DVD with them which was bad enough for me as the movie
had just gotten started when it made some whacky noises (probably getting scared
of the Dweebs) and the player broke down. Then, after those twerps departed, I
started watching action movies with Dad when mom came and told me to shut it
off. Why? was my question and the reply was “You’re not old enough to watch
such vulgarity and aggression” Oh, yeah, I thought first she told me not to
mingle with those brats as we usually had a quarrel and now she’s telling me
not to watch adult movies. Where am I stuck? Where, I say, Between childhood,
teenage and adolescence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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